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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have gone to the pub?

74 replies

aluminiumwaterbottle · 11/10/2022 22:02

I have an 8 month old baby and am also doing a college access course Wed-Fri hoping to go to uni next year. I work weekends and some evenings in a pub myself, (my mum is retired and happily has had baby whilst I’m at college and working) which is why I’m so upset as I’d never dream of behaving like this, nor would my managers. My DH is away for 3 weeks in his home country (I had the option to go but on weighing it up me and DH decided I should stay with baby and go to college), hence why I had to bring baby to pub.

Today, I was struggling to focus on my work. Baby was settled but my eyes were straining. I’ve often noticed I get sore eyes if I try and work without going out all day, I have to go on a walk. I think my eyes must get sore from lack of fresh air. At around 4pm I decided I couldn’t face cooking nor eating crap like a pot noodle, so decided to treat myself to dinner at the local pub. I took my laptop along and baby. I knew the pub would be dead as it always is on a Tuesday evening. Baby is very good and sleeps anywhere so I wasn’t worried about her, and if she did persistently cry I’d have prompty left.

Got there, ordered a soft drink, then set up on a table in the corner with a plug socket. There were only about 5 people in the whole pub. Then went to the bar to order a pie. Ate it (it was lovely), gave a nice tip, ordered another large soft drink and let them know I may be ordering a pudding later on. Baby was sleeping or when awake being very chilled, and I got on with my work as happy as larry. I was really liking it, my house is dark and dinghy with terrible lighting and can be chilly so it was lovely being in a cosy pub by the fire doing my work, I was able to focus a lot better. Baby only cried once when she pooed and I promptly changed her, put her back in pram and she fell asleep. I had asked the bar staff (bar was just a few metres away) if they could watch my laptop whilst I was in the baby change, maybe that pissed them off.

After I’d been there about an hour and a half, I noticed the manager looking at me. Then a sheepish looking teenage waitress came over. She said they only allow laptops during lunchtime hours (which sounded like made up shite, if it was a busy quiz night or a weekend night I’d have understood that being there with a laptop is the wrong vibe and I wouldn’t have been there in the first place). I questioned this, and said I didn’t understand what the issue was. I was ordering drinks, had had a meal and was planning on getting a dessert. The other few customers were just having a couple of quiet drinks, I was definitely the customer spending the most money. She said she’d speak to the manager.

Manager came over and said that me working with my laptop wasn’t appropriate in a pub. I told her I work in a pub and we get plenty of people in with laptops and we don’t mind them, they are valued customers who always order a few drinks during their visits like I was doing. She ignored this and said she’d be happy to take my dessert order if I put the laptop away. I told her that wouldn’t be necessary and promptly left.

I was planning to stay until 9pm (if baby allowed) and as I said, would have had a dessert and a few more drinks. I don’t understand why they would turn away business like that.

Did I really do anything wrong?

OP posts:
Calandor · 11/10/2022 22:20

No you didn't. I've done uni work in a pub before but at the end of the day it is a private business so they can ask you not to do certain things.

Though When I worked at a pub we didn't allow children in after 8pm.

aluminiumwaterbottle · 11/10/2022 22:26

It honestly never occured to me that it’d be an issue on a quiet Tuesday night.

OP posts:
NotJustAnybody · 11/10/2022 22:29

I think it was the fact that you'd settled in for the evening with a laptop and an infant with you in a public bar. Lunchtime in a cafe, fine. Not a pub.
The only time this is acceptable is on holiday or in a social club, if they allow it and that's the accepted normal.

Peashoots · 11/10/2022 22:31

No you haven’t. Sounds like a made up reason to get you to leave. You didn’t do anything wrong, I’d take my business elsewhere in future.

elephantseal · 11/10/2022 22:33

You don't do anything wrong! What a shame.

If the dc was the problem, why didn't they say so?

Remaker · 11/10/2022 22:33

Do you think it was the laptop or the baby? I’m visiting the UK from Australia at the moment and there seems to be no consistency in when or whether kids are allowed in pubs. Every pub just makes up their own rules. Perhaps they didn’t want the baby there all night but thought it was easier to complain about the laptop.

Kocakolakazza · 11/10/2022 22:35

NotJustAnybody · 11/10/2022 22:29

I think it was the fact that you'd settled in for the evening with a laptop and an infant with you in a public bar. Lunchtime in a cafe, fine. Not a pub.
The only time this is acceptable is on holiday or in a social club, if they allow it and that's the accepted normal.

But why though? The OP wasn't exactly drunk in charge of a baby? If she did this in Costa while eating and drinking the exact same things, would you care?

Worthyornot · 11/10/2022 22:38

I think this wasn't the place to do work. A Cafe at lunchtime - fine. A pub at dinner time - not fine. I don't think the baby was the issue, it was you treating it as a library.

PoseyFlump · 11/10/2022 22:38

Could they be worried that if they allow you to do it, everyone will want to chill in the cosy pub instead of paying for heating at home? This is going to become a thing for many businesses to navigate over the coming cold months.

aluminiumwaterbottle · 11/10/2022 22:39

@NotJustAnybody.

But what harm was I actually doing? The pub was dead. They weren’t even playing music. There were a few other punters at the other end of the pub having quiet drinks. Baby cried once and I immediately tended to her and then she was fine.

OP posts:
Worthyornot · 11/10/2022 22:43

aluminiumwaterbottle · 11/10/2022 22:39

@NotJustAnybody.

But what harm was I actually doing? The pub was dead. They weren’t even playing music. There were a few other punters at the other end of the pub having quiet drinks. Baby cried once and I immediately tended to her and then she was fine.

Why are you arguing with them? They clearly didn't want you working in their establishment. It's a pub, not your office. Others might follow suit and then the pub becomes something else.

latetothefisting · 11/10/2022 22:49

At the end of the day it's their pub and they can ask you not to do anything they want.

I assume that someone with a laptop and a baby in the evening isn't the "vibe" they want in the pub and they were afraid that other groups of potential customers - whether that be rowdy lads or people wanting to drink in a fully adult environment might be put off by walking in to somewhere where with people worked with babies later into the night.

If you work in a pub I'm sure you are aware that different pubs have different vibes and cater to different crowds - whether that be the old men boozers, students and cheap deals, family friendly serving meals, expensive gastropub aimed at after work professionals, sports focused etc. They didn't want their pub to be a "welcoming to babies/people working" one.

I personally agree that you weren't doing anything wrong and that it doesn't seem to make any business sense to turn away someone spending money and working quietly if none of the other customers actually there at the time were bothered, but it's up to them.

Blueberrycreampie · 11/10/2022 22:51

One of our local village pubs has made it known that anyone can come in and be warm. They don't even have to buy anything. There's a lovely log fire and all are welcome!

EscapeRoomToTheSun · 11/10/2022 22:52

aluminiumwaterbottle · 11/10/2022 22:39

@NotJustAnybody.

But what harm was I actually doing? The pub was dead. They weren’t even playing music. There were a few other punters at the other end of the pub having quiet drinks. Baby cried once and I immediately tended to her and then she was fine.

No wonder it was dead!

Musti · 11/10/2022 22:52

Dicks. Post it on their social media

PoseyFlump · 11/10/2022 22:54

I had asked the bar staff (bar was just a few metres away) if they could watch my laptop whilst I was in the baby change, maybe that pissed them off.

Was that just after your baby was crying after pooing? I think I can see why they might be annoyed.

Blueberrycreampie · 11/10/2022 22:54

I'd rather go into a pub that had a baby and a laptop in it than lots of men swearing and telling sexist jokes. I'd feel more comfortable.

DiddlyDoris · 11/10/2022 22:55

YANBU

I wouldn't take your custom there again though, and as a previous poster suggests get on social media perhaps.
Sorry you were treated this way :-(

PoseyFlump · 11/10/2022 22:56

Doesn't it depend on the type of pub though @Blueberrycreampie? And presumably 'lots of men' spend lots of money. God knows how these pubs will afford their fuel bills. But yeah, let's shame them on SM and shut them down.

NotJustAnybody · 11/10/2022 22:59

Belgium/France/Holland seem to have more of the cafe culture you're after but in general, babies in pubs is not really welcomed, rightly or wrongly.

Hotandbothereds · 11/10/2022 23:00

How bizarre, do you think they didn’t want you plugging your laptop in and using their electric maybe?

Although they could’ve just said that!

Can’t see what harm you were doing at all, very odd.

DogsDryWineAndCheese · 11/10/2022 23:01

In the circumstances you’ve described, I really can’t see a problem.
I can’t imagine having a public facing business going into such unsure times and being so inhospitable!

LadyGAgain · 11/10/2022 23:02

NotJustAnybody · 11/10/2022 22:29

I think it was the fact that you'd settled in for the evening with a laptop and an infant with you in a public bar. Lunchtime in a cafe, fine. Not a pub.
The only time this is acceptable is on holiday or in a social club, if they allow it and that's the accepted normal.

What a load of rubbish. Who made them the moral police. A mum(or dad, or anyone) with a settled baby working/on laptop when paying for food and drink should not be asked to stop being on a laptop. Especially on a quiet night. It's utterly ridiculous. And if it's part of a chain I'd be asking to see their written policy on this. I'm sorry this happened OP. Sounds like you took the opportunity to be outside of the home, you and baby are safe and you got fed and watered and they totally pissed on that firework.

Blueberrycreampie · 11/10/2022 23:02

PoseyFlump · 11/10/2022 22:56

Doesn't it depend on the type of pub though @Blueberrycreampie? And presumably 'lots of men' spend lots of money. God knows how these pubs will afford their fuel bills. But yeah, let's shame them on SM and shut them down.

Yes it does but I went into the village pub I mentioned upthread and there was someone with a laptop, although no baby and I felt comfortable enough to just have a coffee on my own. Had there been a large number of men ( there were a few in there) I may not have entered the pub. It was just a nicer atmosphere.

LadyGAgain · 11/10/2022 23:03

Blueberrycreampie · 11/10/2022 22:51

One of our local village pubs has made it known that anyone can come in and be warm. They don't even have to buy anything. There's a lovely log fire and all are welcome!

They sound wonderful!