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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have gone to the pub?

74 replies

aluminiumwaterbottle · 11/10/2022 22:02

I have an 8 month old baby and am also doing a college access course Wed-Fri hoping to go to uni next year. I work weekends and some evenings in a pub myself, (my mum is retired and happily has had baby whilst I’m at college and working) which is why I’m so upset as I’d never dream of behaving like this, nor would my managers. My DH is away for 3 weeks in his home country (I had the option to go but on weighing it up me and DH decided I should stay with baby and go to college), hence why I had to bring baby to pub.

Today, I was struggling to focus on my work. Baby was settled but my eyes were straining. I’ve often noticed I get sore eyes if I try and work without going out all day, I have to go on a walk. I think my eyes must get sore from lack of fresh air. At around 4pm I decided I couldn’t face cooking nor eating crap like a pot noodle, so decided to treat myself to dinner at the local pub. I took my laptop along and baby. I knew the pub would be dead as it always is on a Tuesday evening. Baby is very good and sleeps anywhere so I wasn’t worried about her, and if she did persistently cry I’d have prompty left.

Got there, ordered a soft drink, then set up on a table in the corner with a plug socket. There were only about 5 people in the whole pub. Then went to the bar to order a pie. Ate it (it was lovely), gave a nice tip, ordered another large soft drink and let them know I may be ordering a pudding later on. Baby was sleeping or when awake being very chilled, and I got on with my work as happy as larry. I was really liking it, my house is dark and dinghy with terrible lighting and can be chilly so it was lovely being in a cosy pub by the fire doing my work, I was able to focus a lot better. Baby only cried once when she pooed and I promptly changed her, put her back in pram and she fell asleep. I had asked the bar staff (bar was just a few metres away) if they could watch my laptop whilst I was in the baby change, maybe that pissed them off.

After I’d been there about an hour and a half, I noticed the manager looking at me. Then a sheepish looking teenage waitress came over. She said they only allow laptops during lunchtime hours (which sounded like made up shite, if it was a busy quiz night or a weekend night I’d have understood that being there with a laptop is the wrong vibe and I wouldn’t have been there in the first place). I questioned this, and said I didn’t understand what the issue was. I was ordering drinks, had had a meal and was planning on getting a dessert. The other few customers were just having a couple of quiet drinks, I was definitely the customer spending the most money. She said she’d speak to the manager.

Manager came over and said that me working with my laptop wasn’t appropriate in a pub. I told her I work in a pub and we get plenty of people in with laptops and we don’t mind them, they are valued customers who always order a few drinks during their visits like I was doing. She ignored this and said she’d be happy to take my dessert order if I put the laptop away. I told her that wouldn’t be necessary and promptly left.

I was planning to stay until 9pm (if baby allowed) and as I said, would have had a dessert and a few more drinks. I don’t understand why they would turn away business like that.

Did I really do anything wrong?

OP posts:
LadyGAgain · 11/10/2022 23:04

PoseyFlump · 11/10/2022 22:54

I had asked the bar staff (bar was just a few metres away) if they could watch my laptop whilst I was in the baby change, maybe that pissed them off.

Was that just after your baby was crying after pooing? I think I can see why they might be annoyed.

Because a tiny human made some noise. Heaven help me. We really have arrived at a new state of utter bollocks.

Blueberrycreampie · 11/10/2022 23:05

@LadyGAgain Yes, I hope it lasts!

LadyGAgain · 11/10/2022 23:06

I hope that for you too!!

Blueberrycreampie · 11/10/2022 23:08

LadyGAgain · 11/10/2022 23:06

I hope that for you too!!

Unfortunately it's a few miles from me - my car was in the village garage for an MOT.

Sittingonabench · 11/10/2022 23:09

I can’t see you did anything wrong. I’ve spent countless hours reading/studying/working in pubs - it’s far preferable to me than a cafe. I can only think it would be the baby and perhaps if it was late - it was more this. However pubs are usually quite a community oriented place and I may have thought you were there to keep warm and would have been happy to provide that since the pub will need to be warmed whether you were there or not and as it was quiet it’s not like you were driving custom away… that’s really strange - I would try a different pub

SugerNiner · 11/10/2022 23:13

My friends pub wouldn't have had a problem with you doing that. She's also advertised that they are providing a log fire and free cups of tea to anyone who needs to come and get warm during the colder months. Don't stress, it was them not you.

Begoniasforever · 11/10/2022 23:15

I’m guessing they are trying to deter folks coming in for free heating and staying for ages and just buying soft drinks, but if it was empty and I’m not sure if the harm

Whataretheodds · 11/10/2022 23:26

I can't understand the indignation. From your OP, after settling in with baby and laptop (nothing wrong with that) you were asked 2-3 times politely, to put the laptop away. They explained why.

I can understand you are disappointed but you are being unreasonable to make out that you've been badly treated or hard done by.

BlackForestCake · 11/10/2022 23:39

This pub is run by idiots. Lots of pubs are run by idiots. Find a better pub to go to.

PoseyFlump · 12/10/2022 06:28

Whataretheodds · 11/10/2022 23:26

I can't understand the indignation. From your OP, after settling in with baby and laptop (nothing wrong with that) you were asked 2-3 times politely, to put the laptop away. They explained why.

I can understand you are disappointed but you are being unreasonable to make out that you've been badly treated or hard done by.

Exactly this. It's typical MN that when a baby is involved everyone has to put up and shut up. I still think they're worried about the energy crisis and don't want to encourage laptops in pubs. I used to visit a cafe where the owner always sat in the corner with his laptop, watching over the staff. It was not relaxing.

Whendoesmydietstart · 03/07/2023 12:21

I don't think you did anything wrong, perhaps apart from argue, but then neither did the pub. My dd and her friends will meet up in cafes for study sessions, but I working whilst in a cafe is more acceptable to people than working whilst in a pub. There isn't a difference really, especially midweek early doors. I always tell my dd to ask a member of staff if they mind them studying there, as I don't think its something that should be taken for granted. The business's model is based on chairs and tables provided for people to consume food and drink. You will take longer and consume (purchase) less if you are working.

Nussbaum · 03/07/2023 12:49

Was it a Sam Smith pub? If so, you're lucky that you weren't shown the door before you'd even plugged your laptop in.

Simplelobsterhat · 04/07/2023 06:22

You didn't do anything wrong but equally I don't think they did either really. It's a pretty new idea to take a laptop to a pub and work, not what would have been the norm a few years ago, and I guess the business needs to decide if that's the vibe the want. You were also using their electricity, which I think they've got a right to object to personally.

Yes on that one night when it was quiet you weren't causing a problem and were giving them business, but they may not want to start a precedent of people taking a table for one, using their electricity, trailing wires, leaving a long time between main and dessert and giving the place the atmosphere of a day time coffee shop. If I was the bar staff I'd also be uncomfortable with being put in the position of bring responsible for your laptop when I'm supposed to be working.

Not saying you are wrong to work there, or that some pubs wouldn't be happy with getting business that way, but I'm also saying I can see why they would rather not set that precedent. Particularly as many people aren't very understanding when they have done something before or seen someone else, and then are asked not to on a busier night.

Simplelobsterhat · 04/07/2023 06:24

Sorry, only just seen this is an old thread. Was wondering why people were talking about heating and fires in July! Why would mumsnet share a zombie thread on Facebook I don't know.

Singlespies · 04/07/2023 06:25

Ludicrous decision by pub but their loss. I travel with work and get my laptop out in the evening when eating out.

I always ask, though. But if they say 'no' just go elsewhere.

Muminthebluecoat · 04/07/2023 06:44

I think this is strange..I could understand if they asked you to leave as they don't allow children in on a night but to say it was the laptop thay was the issue sounds bizarre to me.

You'd think from there side if either would be an issue it would be the baby (not necessarily yours but if they let one baby I others may think it's OK to bring older children in who'd be running around) but not a laptop.

bumblebee2235 · 04/07/2023 06:48

I got kicked out for breast feeding 😂 people were complaining to the landlord and they brought blankets to cover me up. (I was trying myself with my jacket and clothes and faced a wall in a corner) I was so embarrassed 😭😭

It was a lunchtime in a family pub so nothing untoward:(

kayserah · 04/07/2023 06:49

I wouldn’t worry. My friend got told she wasn’t allowed in a pub last week because she was too old. Pub rules are weird

kayserah · 04/07/2023 06:51

bumblebee2235 · 04/07/2023 06:48

I got kicked out for breast feeding 😂 people were complaining to the landlord and they brought blankets to cover me up. (I was trying myself with my jacket and clothes and faced a wall in a corner) I was so embarrassed 😭😭

It was a lunchtime in a family pub so nothing untoward:(

You could get in the local newspaper with that!

seriously though, they are breaking the law so you should take this further

bumblebee2235 · 04/07/2023 07:02

@kayserah it was so awful, I haven't gone out since :( I'm paranoid I'm going to be judged, I just went home and cried all night 😭

mrsbyers · 04/07/2023 07:12

I think it was rude to plug your laptop in without asking to be honest

Mumof1andacat · 04/07/2023 07:22

bumblebee2235 · 04/07/2023 06:48

I got kicked out for breast feeding 😂 people were complaining to the landlord and they brought blankets to cover me up. (I was trying myself with my jacket and clothes and faced a wall in a corner) I was so embarrassed 😭😭

It was a lunchtime in a family pub so nothing untoward:(

It's a against the law as far I'm aware. Go to your local paper or mp

BitterAndTwistedClub · 04/07/2023 08:18

It might have had to do with licensing laws. Perhaps a baby is not legally permitted after a certain time and landlord didn’t want to lose their license.

purplehair1 · 04/07/2023 08:20

When I’m travelling for work I often stay in pubs and do a bit of work with my laptop in the bar on an evening. Never had a problem. Maybe they have a ‘policy’ which is a bit too inflexible given they turned away a good paying customer.

Anderson2018 · 04/07/2023 09:25

If a pub serves food they will allow kids until kitchen closes, general rule is no kids after 8pm. If they don’t serve food I doubt they would allow kids at all

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