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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have gone to the pub?

74 replies

aluminiumwaterbottle · 11/10/2022 22:02

I have an 8 month old baby and am also doing a college access course Wed-Fri hoping to go to uni next year. I work weekends and some evenings in a pub myself, (my mum is retired and happily has had baby whilst I’m at college and working) which is why I’m so upset as I’d never dream of behaving like this, nor would my managers. My DH is away for 3 weeks in his home country (I had the option to go but on weighing it up me and DH decided I should stay with baby and go to college), hence why I had to bring baby to pub.

Today, I was struggling to focus on my work. Baby was settled but my eyes were straining. I’ve often noticed I get sore eyes if I try and work without going out all day, I have to go on a walk. I think my eyes must get sore from lack of fresh air. At around 4pm I decided I couldn’t face cooking nor eating crap like a pot noodle, so decided to treat myself to dinner at the local pub. I took my laptop along and baby. I knew the pub would be dead as it always is on a Tuesday evening. Baby is very good and sleeps anywhere so I wasn’t worried about her, and if she did persistently cry I’d have prompty left.

Got there, ordered a soft drink, then set up on a table in the corner with a plug socket. There were only about 5 people in the whole pub. Then went to the bar to order a pie. Ate it (it was lovely), gave a nice tip, ordered another large soft drink and let them know I may be ordering a pudding later on. Baby was sleeping or when awake being very chilled, and I got on with my work as happy as larry. I was really liking it, my house is dark and dinghy with terrible lighting and can be chilly so it was lovely being in a cosy pub by the fire doing my work, I was able to focus a lot better. Baby only cried once when she pooed and I promptly changed her, put her back in pram and she fell asleep. I had asked the bar staff (bar was just a few metres away) if they could watch my laptop whilst I was in the baby change, maybe that pissed them off.

After I’d been there about an hour and a half, I noticed the manager looking at me. Then a sheepish looking teenage waitress came over. She said they only allow laptops during lunchtime hours (which sounded like made up shite, if it was a busy quiz night or a weekend night I’d have understood that being there with a laptop is the wrong vibe and I wouldn’t have been there in the first place). I questioned this, and said I didn’t understand what the issue was. I was ordering drinks, had had a meal and was planning on getting a dessert. The other few customers were just having a couple of quiet drinks, I was definitely the customer spending the most money. She said she’d speak to the manager.

Manager came over and said that me working with my laptop wasn’t appropriate in a pub. I told her I work in a pub and we get plenty of people in with laptops and we don’t mind them, they are valued customers who always order a few drinks during their visits like I was doing. She ignored this and said she’d be happy to take my dessert order if I put the laptop away. I told her that wouldn’t be necessary and promptly left.

I was planning to stay until 9pm (if baby allowed) and as I said, would have had a dessert and a few more drinks. I don’t understand why they would turn away business like that.

Did I really do anything wrong?

OP posts:
Anderson2018 · 04/07/2023 09:28

They should have told you this when you sat down and opened your laptop. I’m guessing if it was after 8pm it was the baby. I do find it quite unreasonable that you would sit in a pub with a baby at that time of night though, fair enough go for a meal but in Scotland anyway kids aren’t aloud in pubs after 8pm.

whereaw · 04/07/2023 09:42

@bumblebee2235 please don't feel embarrassed about breastfeeding or let this stop you going out.
How dare they even approach a woman feeding a child with blankets, let alone kick her out? You should have put the blankets on their heads and asked if that was better!
When you are passed the baby stage you will look back on breastfeeding and remember it with fondness, sustaining your child with your body. Please do not feel awkward or embarrassed. It is the most natural and normal thing in life, if women didn't breastfeed the human race would have died out long ago. Don't let this stop you enjoying your life.
I have breastfed in many places, cafes, pubs and never had that happen to me. It shouldn't happen to you and honestly I would be going back to complain. Send your OH round, write a review, comment on their social media, the community group.. or get someone to do it for you. It's discrimination, pure and simple.

whereaw · 04/07/2023 09:46

@bumblebee2235 www.laleche.org.uk/breastfeeding-public-spaces/

Samlewis96 · 04/07/2023 10:01

Begoniasforever · 11/10/2022 23:15

I’m guessing they are trying to deter folks coming in for free heating and staying for ages and just buying soft drinks, but if it was empty and I’m not sure if the harm

Make more money on soft drinks

TreesandFish · 04/07/2023 10:09

kayserah · 04/07/2023 06:49

I wouldn’t worry. My friend got told she wasn’t allowed in a pub last week because she was too old. Pub rules are weird

In UK?

LaBefana · 04/07/2023 10:19

She said they only allow laptops during lunchtime hours (which sounded like made up shite,

Not at all. I've been in plenty of pubs & cafés that have such a rule.

Vendee23 · 04/07/2023 15:23

If the pub was busy fair enough, however hardly an issue when it’s quiet and the OP is spending money too.

Snail92 · 04/07/2023 17:34

I really don’t see the issue! Find another pub with more family-friendly staff 🤦🏼‍♀️

speluncean · 04/07/2023 17:39

Zombie thread.

pinkyredrose · 04/07/2023 17:43

Sorry but pubs aren't offices and people generally don't like babies in pubs whatever they say. Find a café next time.

pinkyredrose · 04/07/2023 17:43

Oh just saw the date!

HunkaMunkasslipper · 04/07/2023 17:47

It sounds like the laptop was bothering them rather than the baby, if they asked you to put it away several times. That's odd IMO.
I'd understand more if it was about your baby-giving off the wrong 'vibe' depending on what type of pub it was. I often read or study in pubs.
My local landlord is LOVELY but, he also doesn't like children of any age in after 8-9pm depending on the night. Other customers complain about it, their reasoning being mainly that it isn't fair on the child (although different with a baby it can't be one rule/other rule. And several customers took the proverbial with their toddlers wandering around and bothering people.

ColdHandsHotHead · 04/07/2023 17:58

Whendoesmydietstart · 03/07/2023 12:21

I don't think you did anything wrong, perhaps apart from argue, but then neither did the pub. My dd and her friends will meet up in cafes for study sessions, but I working whilst in a cafe is more acceptable to people than working whilst in a pub. There isn't a difference really, especially midweek early doors. I always tell my dd to ask a member of staff if they mind them studying there, as I don't think its something that should be taken for granted. The business's model is based on chairs and tables provided for people to consume food and drink. You will take longer and consume (purchase) less if you are working.

Why are you digging up a thread from LAST YEAR!

Cacla · 05/07/2023 08:37

Not really the point I know but it's pathetic that they sent the teenage waitress to do their dirty work. How unfair.

Cacla · 05/07/2023 08:39

ColdHandsHotHead · 04/07/2023 17:58

Why are you digging up a thread from LAST YEAR!

Calm down, it was posted on Facebook

Boredandbitter · 05/07/2023 11:00

They don't deserve your money. Hope their business fails.

Lucyh999 · 05/07/2023 12:00

NotJustAnybody · 11/10/2022 22:29

I think it was the fact that you'd settled in for the evening with a laptop and an infant with you in a public bar. Lunchtime in a cafe, fine. Not a pub.
The only time this is acceptable is on holiday or in a social club, if they allow it and that's the accepted normal.

Who says that’s the only time it’s acceptable? Who made you the arbiter of acceptability?

badluckorbadvibes · 05/07/2023 12:03

@Cacla

Calm down, it was posted on Facebook

By who?

Cacla · 05/07/2023 12:44

badluckorbadvibes · 05/07/2023 12:03

@Cacla

Calm down, it was posted on Facebook

By who?

The mumsnet Facebook account

badluckorbadvibes · 05/07/2023 12:47

@Cacla

That's so weird, I wonder why they are sharing such old posts?

Helena91 · 05/07/2023 14:49

You did nothing wrong. Time for some negative feedback methinks. They hate that!

EarringsandLipstick · 05/07/2023 19:23

badluckorbadvibes · 05/07/2023 12:47

@Cacla

That's so weird, I wonder why they are sharing such old posts?

MN do this all the time - it's a consequence of their 'related threads' initiative & means that daily there are old threads reactivated pointlessly.

Libby1233455 · 06/07/2023 12:11

You didn’t do anything wrong. Having worked in several pubs, it sounds like this is just a rule they have that is mindlessly enforced despite any reasonable extraneous factors. I have often had to enforce rules in situations where they clearly weren’t particularly relevant to the actual situation, just because ‘rules are rules’. Did anyone else want that table? No, and there aren’t any other customers in the pub and you’re not getting in anyones way… but ‘customers aren’t allowed to move tables’. Are those kids bothering anyone? No because there’s no one else in the pub, but ‘kids must sit quietly at the table’. I wouldn’t let it bother you anymore at all. They make up rules to solve problems, but then these are enforced all the time with no wiggle room. This is often due to regulars who might notice any inconsistencies in rule enforcement and point this out next time they want to break the rule. My guess is they have a ‘no laptops after a certain time’ rule, due to maybe people taking up large tables on a Friday night. But then they just enforce this all the time. I very much doubt it’s personal. Pubs, eh!

WandaWonder · 06/07/2023 12:13

aluminiumwaterbottle · 11/10/2022 22:39

@NotJustAnybody.

But what harm was I actually doing? The pub was dead. They weren’t even playing music. There were a few other punters at the other end of the pub having quiet drinks. Baby cried once and I immediately tended to her and then she was fine.

It's not up for you to decide what a private business accepts or not

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