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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this Indian restaurant manager was unreasonable? Or was I?

179 replies

StarlightRobbery · 10/10/2022 13:02

Last night I ordered an Indian takeaway as a treat. When it arrived it was mostly ok, although the rice was cold and the sauce in one particular dish tasted slightly sour as if it was off. I didn’t eat that part of the meal.

I tried calling the restaurant three times but they only have a mobile number, no landline and it kept saying busy with beeps- I guess people ordering.

Anyways later on, I got a request/notification on the app to review my food, I gave it 3 stars and the app prompted me to select a few reasons why. I selected rice was cold. I didn’t type anything just clicked it and that was that.

This morning very loud knock on the door, go to the door and a very abrupt man says “is that Starlightrobbery?” And I said yes. And he preceded to tell me that he was the manager of the restaurant and that I’d tried to scam him for a refund. That there was no way that the rice was cold as it’s last bagged and I’m a fraud. That I basically were trying to just get a refund and he was sick of people pulling this sort of scam. I told him I was under no illusion I was even getting a refund and that indeed the rice was cold.

He asked why I didn’t call the restaurant and I said I tried. He then said I should’ve drove down there and I said I couldn’t, because I had small children in bed. He then proceeded again to call me a fraud before saying he was off to two other houses who had request refunds through “Deliveroo”! I didn’t even order from Deliveroo!

I stewed it over and friends I’ve told think it’s quite amusing but I actually think he’s being slightly unreasonable to come to my house and kick off like that. I now feel like leaving a proper review saying this is what he does- but then he might come back. Ugh!

OP posts:
LuckyLil · 10/10/2022 13:47

I would be updating your review and telling people exactly what happened after. Trying to intimidate people who had a bad experience isn't going to win him customers. It's not your fault he can't cope with constructive criticism.

TrashyPanda · 10/10/2022 13:48

That is really bad.
id feel intimidated and vulnerable
so sorry this happened to you.
he’s a nasty bully

its totally normal to expect takeaway food to be delivered hot!

RosieTheHat · 10/10/2022 13:51

This thread is bonkers. OP you are right to leave a review if your meal or part of it is not satisfactory. He had NO right to come to your door harassing you.

SudocremOnEverything · 10/10/2022 13:52

I have lots of questions:

Why does he have access to information about which customer left which review? that seems unlikely. The actual reviews should be anonymous - the restaurant manager should not be able to know Dawn from 53 Beech road have a 3 star review and identified the rice as an issue in it.

The refunds and complaints process should be entirely separate. The restaurant will need to know which order there was a refundable issue with. So they can fix things. Still the manager doesn’t need to know their address. Or even their name. The order number would suffice.

So there are questions to ask of the app you used if a manager is harassing people based on reviews.

ganvough · 10/10/2022 13:53

There's an Indian restaurant near me that had such low hygiene ratings, it needed to be shut down. Yet if anyone had left a poor review on Google or a delivery service, he would similarly intimidate and fight them, showed up at doors or find them on social media and send horrid messages. I was convinced he was a money laundering front for gang activity.

I'd update my review to say he showed up at your door - other people should be aware. There could be vulnerable people out there he could really harass. And if he contacts you again, tell him you'll be contacting the police, then leave a police complaint. You never know, they may be aware of him through other complaints or dodgy behaviour.

Mumoblue · 10/10/2022 13:54

Hell, as a single mum living alone, an irate man turning up on my door would really freak me out. I can understand not wanting to escalate at the time, but surely there should be consequences for that behaviour- though I don’t know if it’s technically illegal.

ganvough · 10/10/2022 13:56

SudocremOnEverything · 10/10/2022 13:52

I have lots of questions:

Why does he have access to information about which customer left which review? that seems unlikely. The actual reviews should be anonymous - the restaurant manager should not be able to know Dawn from 53 Beech road have a 3 star review and identified the rice as an issue in it.

The refunds and complaints process should be entirely separate. The restaurant will need to know which order there was a refundable issue with. So they can fix things. Still the manager doesn’t need to know their address. Or even their name. The order number would suffice.

So there are questions to ask of the app you used if a manager is harassing people based on reviews.

Because they'll be able to cross reference against her order items. So if they know someone complained with an order of rice, tikka masala, jalfrezi. They also know the app asks for a review the day off/certain number of hours after the order was delivered so will know which address had made that order.

Emotionalsupportviper · 10/10/2022 13:57

Mumoblue · 10/10/2022 13:54

Hell, as a single mum living alone, an irate man turning up on my door would really freak me out. I can understand not wanting to escalate at the time, but surely there should be consequences for that behaviour- though I don’t know if it’s technically illegal.

I think it may be - it could come under "threatening behaviour", or even "assault". (You don't have to strike someone to assault them, just put them in fear of injury)

SnoozyLucy7 · 10/10/2022 14:00

BecauseICan22 · 10/10/2022 13:06

Totally inappropriate behaviour from any restaurant owner.

Don't see what relevance his ethnicity has to your issue though.

OP didn’t mention the man’s ethnicity

ChilliBandit · 10/10/2022 14:03

Jmaho · 10/10/2022 13:29

This forum is bonkers. I swear it gets worse
The OP posts that she received a below par quality take away which she tries to complain about. Didn't ask for refund then indimidating bloke turns up at her house. Then according to some she is unreasonable and one person suggested, racist! Wtaf?
I would be furious if they'd have come to my door and I'd take it further. Completely and utterly unacceptable

This, any opportunity to have a go at the OP seems to be jumped on these days. I swear some people use MN like others use a punching bag.

YANBU OP, I would report to Deliveroo and if he comes back I’d report to the police.

AmazingBouncingFerret · 10/10/2022 14:03

It’s weird how he knows your address though. We use Uber and Justeat and the system the orders come through blank out the customer address, only the delivery drivers have access to it. It might be different for deliveroo though.
I’d definitely change your review to reflect his behaviour. Not on at all.

Bunnyfuller · 10/10/2022 14:04

We had problems on Friday. My daughter ordered food from a takeaway a couple of miles away, through JustEat. Nothing arrived. JustEat said it had then deleted the order number. Couldn’t find a number for them, daughter called the takeaway who said they definitely delivered it, described the house as looking like an old people’s home. Our house isn’t an old peoples home, but I realised that they’d delivered it to the park home estate down the road from us - cheapy SatNavs send people there.
Called round there - DDs food stone cold. Bloody deliveries, too dear and so random

PurplRainDancer · 10/10/2022 14:05

I would contact the non emergency number of the Police. His actions were intimidating.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 10/10/2022 14:07

If he has an issue with how much Just Eat take, that’s for his restaurant to solve not a person who ordered one takeaway!

Well said, OP
I don't expect businesses to invite my comments about how they should run things so I get very tired of them trying to foist their problems onto me, and it's quite possible to empathise with the general situation without needing a sob story because they've messed up

Obviously don't go back now you're on the spit list, and I'm another who'd amend your review to include the unwelcome visit

LookItsMeAgain · 10/10/2022 14:07

@BecauseICan22 -
"Totally inappropriate behaviour from any restaurant owner. Don't see what relevance his ethnicity has to your issue though."

The restaurant was of the Indian variety (as opposed to Italian or American). Did you think the manager was Indian??? 😆😆😆😆
Oh you crack me up!!!

WeepingSomnambulist · 10/10/2022 14:11

I did mean your address not you're address!
Sorry!

StarlightRobbery · 10/10/2022 14:11

SudocremOnEverything · 10/10/2022 13:52

I have lots of questions:

Why does he have access to information about which customer left which review? that seems unlikely. The actual reviews should be anonymous - the restaurant manager should not be able to know Dawn from 53 Beech road have a 3 star review and identified the rice as an issue in it.

The refunds and complaints process should be entirely separate. The restaurant will need to know which order there was a refundable issue with. So they can fix things. Still the manager doesn’t need to know their address. Or even their name. The order number would suffice.

So there are questions to ask of the app you used if a manager is harassing people based on reviews.

I wondered how he got my address etc as well. Unless he matched the order to the delivery address?

OP posts:
Puzzledandpissedoff · 10/10/2022 14:14

Are they really being scammed, or taking umbrage at poor reviews?

A fair question
OP hasn't said what the other reviews are like, but they wouldn't be the first to try to dodge responsibility by putting all the blame on others - after all we see it on here often enough

BrokenWing · 10/10/2022 14:16

I would rewrite to review to reduce to one star and include the factual details of them showing up at your front door, accusing you of wanted a refund, being a fraud for something that you have not asked for, and feeling intimidated.

Report them to the delivery company. Report under GDPR rules. Report any further intimidation to the police.

Bramshott · 10/10/2022 14:17

People are really, really funny about reviews - I once had an incredibly awkward/intimidating conversation with a decorator who I'd reviewed on Checkatrade (at his request!) because I gave him 5 stars for pretty much everything but 3 stars for cleanliness (because he was a bit messy, and stained our stair carpet). He clearly had only wanted me to review him if it was 100%!

worriedatthistime · 10/10/2022 14:18

Thats bang out of order and nor sure he is even allowed to use your address from the order to show up
I think i would be reporting

CheezePleeze · 10/10/2022 14:18

When I order from my very local takeaways, even though I order through Just Eat, the local takeaway staff do the deliveries.

That could be why he had your address.

Vecnussy · 10/10/2022 14:19

Report to the App but also consider reporting it higher than that. This a breach of GDPR surely as this man has accessed your data for purposes other than fulfilling the order.

MRSE20 · 10/10/2022 14:19

Absolutely awful behaviour and to be honest quite scary! This needs to be reported

worriedatthistime · 10/10/2022 14:19

@Youcancallmeirrelevant why would you not expect it to be hot?
I mean they put them in a bag to keep warm and shouldn't be spending ages delivering
I expect my takeaways to be hot always

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