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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I'm the only one who's two year old is crap sleeper

54 replies

supertato32 · 09/10/2022 22:26

My two year old is awful at sleeping. She's slept through maybe twice!

She goes down well until about 11, then wakes. Out of exhaustion I just bring her into bed with me (I'm a single mum who work full-time) and I also give her milk if she wakes up again! I know I've made a Rod for my own back, but any other mums with two year olds who have awful sleep? I need to feel I'm not alone in this xxx

OP posts:
Daisy12789 · 09/10/2022 22:33

My daughter is 2 and has never slept through the whole night, recently she slept from 10-4 and I was ecstatic 🙈
I don’t have advice but you’re not alone, they will get there one day. You haven’t made a rod for your own back, we have to do whatever feels right to get through it. I also am a single mum working full time so I can appreciate how you feel.

whatshouldIdo2022 · 09/10/2022 22:33

Yes! Although she has got better recently. We also co sleep and have done for ages but I'm getting really fed up with it. She goes to sleep fine but then will sleep-cry from anywhere between 11-4 then if I don't get to her quick enough she wakes up properly and stays awake for 2-3 hours. Its crap, and no one else I know has or had a baby that still didn't sleep through by 2 so I've also got no one left to mutually complain about tiredness to, although I do find I can midnight text my friends who are on their second and have newborn babies that they're up with Grin

Tigofigo · 09/10/2022 22:36

DC2 was still waking up up to 5 times a night until 3.5yo... nearly killed me! Age 2 it could be 8-10 times a night 😩

So no you're not alone!

(He still sometimes wakes once or twice now and he's 6, but often sleeps through)

Tigofigo · 09/10/2022 22:37

Could you try starting work earlier and leaving earlier, the sleep consultant we worked with suggested the more quality time you can spend together before bed can help.

Original poster
supertato32 · 09/10/2022 22:38

@Daisy12789 thank you so much for replying! I feel you're my kindred spirit haha! I am lying in bed with a cuppa whilst my little girl has her arm on mine snoring away! She turned two today and I love her so much, just feel life would be a little easier if her sleep was better!

It's crazy when they sleep through or for long periods of time. I remember a month ago when she slept through, I woke up and checked the time and when I saw it was 4.30am I ran to her room in panic. She was fine and I thought it was the start of her sleeping through... sadly it got worse after that haha xxxx

OP posts:
Original poster
supertato32 · 09/10/2022 22:42

@whatshouldIdo2022 I totally feel your pain! I love co sleeping, until she wakes up or decides to sleep horizontally! My daughter also drinks a lot at night so I have to change her nappy before it leaks, but if I don't I wake up in wet sheets! This is no way to live 😭😂! Always here if you need some solidarity in the shit sleep club xxx

OP posts:
Muddledandbefuddled · 09/10/2022 22:42

I just cosleep from the off so I don't lose sleep retrieving mine in the night. I find she wakes less that way too.

Original poster
supertato32 · 09/10/2022 22:43

@Tigofigo oh no! Poor you! What changed at 3.5? I start work at 8 and finish at 4.30! I do wonder is it that she is at nursery all the time and shares weekends with her dad, but she also settles fine so I'm not sure that it's that! I think it might be habit xxx

OP posts:
Original poster
supertato32 · 09/10/2022 22:44

@Muddledandbefuddled how do you do this? Do you go to bed early or do they go to bed late?

OP posts:
Muddledandbefuddled · 09/10/2022 22:44

Try adding a reusable nappy cover over the nappy and putting boosters between nappy and cover if you've not already. Also I highly recommend a washable bed pad to plonk her on then you just wash that not all the sheets.

Dontwakeme · 09/10/2022 22:44

Your are not alone!! Magnesium spray at bedtime on toddler, Try it!

Muddledandbefuddled · 09/10/2022 22:47

Lie with them until they drop off, sneak off for however long but be sure to be back before first possible wakeup. If they do wakeup and you're not there say you just popped to the loo. Mine is convinced I go to bed at the same time. That security of knowledge seems to make a massive difference..

Original poster
supertato32 · 09/10/2022 22:48

@Muddledandbefuddled omg what is a booster? I need all of this in my life and thanks for the advice about the bed pad too

OP posts:
Original poster
supertato32 · 09/10/2022 22:49

@Dontwakeme what is magnesium spray?

OP posts:
TokyoSushi · 09/10/2022 22:53

DD didn't sleep though the night, even once, until just after 3. Sometimes she was up 8-10 times per night. It's a good job that she was otherwise delightful as it was absolutely horrific. We went on a caravan holiday, she shared with her older brother who was 5 at the time and somehow realised that he didn't wake up. She virtually never woke in the night again and now at 9 is the most incredible sleeper. It's just a (long) phase, it will pass!

Muddledandbefuddled · 09/10/2022 22:58

Check out the reusable nappy sites like the Nappy Lady. I'd say hemp would be good as relatively thin and very absorbant. Add one between nappy and nappy cover between her legs. If she leaks on her hip I'd also add one horizontally to that hip. They take quite a few washes to get up to full absorbency. For covers I like the Motherease airflow.

That combo stops us getting soaked every night.

Kfjsjdbd · 09/10/2022 22:58

Mine turns 2 on Weds. She goes down at 7.30pm, wakes at 10, then always again before the morning. So depressing!!

JolieJ · 09/10/2022 23:06

Nope mine is 2.5 and still doesn't sleep through :(

mistermagpie · 09/10/2022 23:11

If it's any consolation (it won't be, it will just give you the fear), my five year old still doesn't sleep through the night. My two year old actually sleeps better than him but she's still a ridiculously early riser and we were giving her milk in the night until she was at least 2.5.

The five year old is up most nights at least once. He has only slept through about ten times in his entire life. It's god-awful but we're used to it now.m, it would be hellish as a single parent though so major sympathy to those doing it alone.

Mumoftwoinprimary · 09/10/2022 23:11

Both of mine were awful until 3.

Actually I tell a lie - at 2 years 4 months Dd decided to sleep through. Did so for 2 months. Which gave us just enough time to gleefully say “we’ve cracked it - Yay!”, “it wasn’t that bad really” “let’s have another baby - it’s fine!” and conceive her little brother.

Once the deed was done she had no more need for us to get a good nights sleep so she went back to waking three times a night…..

And then we had ds who was even worse!

10 years on and they did both sleep through eventually. I remember it was bad - I can’t quite remember why. Sleep is now something that I don’t really think about. Every now and then I even think “another baby would be rather lovely….”

Apollonia1 · 09/10/2022 23:14

I've 2.5 year old twins, and they each wake at least once a night. They want a nappy change, had a bad dream, want a hug, their night-time music stopped, asking is it morning time, etc.
I frequently can't get back to sleep, so am
constantly exhausted!

notdaddycool · 09/10/2022 23:16

We sleep trained both of ours, it was awful for about 2 nights each and not great for a few more and then we had to repeat with one a year or so later but everyone in our house sleeps well which gives a much better quality of life for them too. Do consider it.

Chattycathydoll · 09/10/2022 23:17

Mine didn’t sleep more than 2 hours at a time until 2, woke regularly until 3, refused to sleep for hours at 4…

She’s now 7. Still has some dodgy nights but crucially I don’t have to get involved! Since she was old enough to manage it, around 4, I just let her play quietly and read in her room until she was ready to go to sleep. Nothing else worked but letting her get on with it.

Do whatever you need to do to survive. It’s so, so hard to make do with so little sleep and you just need to get through it. They won’t be doing the same thing when they’re 22! They’ll go through sleep phases. It’ll work out in the end.

Apollonia1 · 09/10/2022 23:19

notdaddycool · 09/10/2022 23:16

We sleep trained both of ours, it was awful for about 2 nights each and not great for a few more and then we had to repeat with one a year or so later but everyone in our house sleeps well which gives a much better quality of life for them too. Do consider it.

How do you sleep train them not to have a bad dream/ get a full nappy?
Genuine question - are they trained to just not disturb you if that happens?
(Sometimes I ask mine not to wake me during the night since I'm very tired, and they don't! So it seems to be a conscious decision).

Blanketpolicy · 09/10/2022 23:20

Ds was the same and we would just bring him through to us (super king bed so plenty of room for a little one), it was great when he got older and he could just come through and climb into our bed himself and settle himself back to sleep.

It is one of those things that you will look back on and miss when they are teenagers and giving you lip.

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