To think I'm the only one who's two year old is crap sleeper

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My two year old is awful at sleeping. She's slept through maybe twice!

She goes down well until about 11, then wakes. Out of exhaustion I just bring her into bed with me (I'm a single mum who work full-time) and I also give her milk if she wakes up again! I know I've made a Rod for my own back, but any other mums with two year olds who have awful sleep? I need to feel I'm not alone in this xxx

My nearly 4 yr old sleeps like a dream providing she's in bed with me. Started the same way, bringing her in with me when she woke in the night, just out of tiredness and wanting the quickest way of her going back to sleep.

We'll be transitioning in to her own bed over the coming months. Not looking forward to it 😴😴

DS woke up at least once a night (usually more) until he was about 4. We coslept until he was 2 because it was just easier.

Things that helped:

Moving him to his own room

Weaning him (was BF - stopping the night feeds at 22 months meant he could just be shushed back to sleep in the cot)

Moving him into his own full-size bed (aged 3) - had been in a cot bed up until then.

Dropping naps aged 3.5.

But mostly it was just getting older.

We did use cloth nappies and they held a huge amount - the nappy plus booster held a good 500mls and never ever leaked. We used Motherease Sandys (absolute workhorse nappy), with a triple-layer bamboo booster at night and an airflow cover. Must have saved us a fortune in disposables over the years as well.

Check for pin worms. A common cause of wakefulness in toddlers who attend nursery. The pattern with worms is like what you describe OP, going off to sleep and then waking again a couple of hours later.

Also, check with nursery how long her midday naps are. Sometimes they have quite long naps over lunch for the children, and this eats into the sleep at night.

My four year old twins still don't sleep though the night. They wake up and get in with me every night without fail.

It's totally normal for a two year old not to sleep through. They are still tiny.

Yes. Mine were all like that. We actually had three mattresses on the floor for years because they all preferred to co sleep until around age 4. Then they shared rooms with a sibling until teen years when they suddenly wanted their own space.

I think it's quite normal for a young child not to sleep through and I don't think bed sharing is a bad thing either. My motto has always been, what ever gets ME the most sleep. I need to be functional, if sleeping with them is what's needed it's what's been done.

My eldest is 5 and in the past year has started to sleep through, my 3 year old still wakes several times a night. He's an active sleeper, has a lot of vidid dreams and replays what he's experienced throughout the day. Mainly sharing injustices or where he's felt wronged 😅 sometimes searching for an imaginary car or toy which I will pretend place in his hand to settle him. He'll get there and until then I just scootch in his bed when needed.

Wow! Thank you for all you lovely, supportive messages. It's made me feel a million times better... another awful nights sleep here! @APoppyLicks I feel my child is the same! When I think she is crying/waking she in fact having a vivid dream as sometimes if I try and comfort her she pushes me away and last night said 'no, my doggy' we don't have a dog!

@Changechangychange thanks for the nappy recommendations. This could be a game changer. Sometimes I change my daughter when she is asleep as he nappy is so heavy, this waking her etc etc! Where is the best please to buy these from? Xxx

Google “the Nappy Lady” - I think MN will remove a link if I post it here. She also has some good explainer pages explaining which bits you need and don’t need, and I found her quite helpful via email.

You can get very caught up in different cloth nappy designs etc but for night you just want something bombproof and uncomplicated. If you do decide to switch to cloth at night, you’ll probably need 3-4 nappies, 3-4 boosters and 1-2 outer wraps (the waterproof bit), so you only have to wash twice a week.

Two of my three DC were still waking at two years old.It is common. I didn't really find it an issue with DC1 as they just woke, popped into bed with me and slept. They had given up night time milk before they were one so that wasn't a factor. DC3 also kept it up until school age but they also like night time breast milk snacks so it was a bit more intrusive and I was 10 years older which makes a big difference. I knew it would stop eventually and didn't really mind.

I’m not sure this is helpful but I’m afraid neither of mine slept through until nearly 5. DS1 still wakes at least once (but at very nearly 10 only comes through about once a month). But neither DH nor I sleep through either so…

It gets better but it is truly awful when you’re in the think of it. Hang in there!

You haven't made a rod for your own back. That is a phrase used to make mother's feel like crap. Some babies just don't sleep. Mine didn't, not until they were 3, I tried everything except leaving them to cry, they just didn't sleep. Co-sleeping saved my sanity. Both DC are now lively, intelligent kids (who still seem to exist on less sleep than I'd like, bit are old enough that they don't wake me when they get up at 6am).

Much sympathy, and hang on in there!

My eldest didn't sleep through properly until she was three, and even then it was patchy. You're not alone, and they get there in their own time. Even now, at 11, when she's unsettled or anxious she wants to sleep in with me it her dad.

My daughter did this. We coslept once she woke up and eventually she stopped around 3.

I honestly think 3 is the magic number. It all seems to sort itself out then…

Neither of mine were reliable sleepers until they were 3. It was partly me, but it was them too.

Then suddenly, one day, you can't get them out of bed.

On mumsnet it seems no 2 year old sleeps through the night so you aren’t going to be the odd one out!
However in real life I don’t know any 2 year olds who regularly wake up and definitely none who get milk overnight.

If I was you I would commit to a week or 2 of work to get her sleeping. Stop the milk overnight, resettle her in her own cot.

I couldn’t imagine regularly waking with a toddler and then having to go to work. I’m sure you’re shattered!

Are you joking? My 8 and 5 year olds still wake most nights at least once, the 8 year old has probably slept through 5 times in his life. But then adults don't sleep through either, we just don't need another adult to comfort us when we do (although actually my friend's "D"H who is 45 wakes her when he can't sleep 🙄

You aren't alone, DS2 slept through from 6 weeks til he was 1 then he was an awful sleeper after that 😩😩 I tried lots of sleep training methods and nothing worked so I gave in and let him sleep in with me. It's gradually got better as he's got older, He's 4.5 now and still comes into my bed most nights but I don't really mind as he doesn't wake me now.

DS was still waking 5/6 times a night at 2.5; it was awful. Then he suddenly started sleeping through - literally went from waking every 2 hours to sleeping from 9pm-7am in one night. He has slept through consistently since then (apart from if he's not well or something); he's now 8 and goes to bed at 8pm and surfaces at 7am.

What an unhelpful comment. Equally on MN everyone seems to sleep train their child but I don’t know a single person who has.

Maybe the reason for both those observations is because MN reaches out to a far wider pool of parents than we would know personally…

We did this, my mum even stayed with us to support me as i was expecting it to be awful. The first night was really hard, but each night that goes by is visibly easier and by night 5 we had a baby that was so much happier in the day and slept 7:30-7:30 and he's 2 now and still does. Best thing we ever did, he also naps for 2 hours in the day too and is a little dream although I don't know how long he will need that for. It was hard but so worth it as he gets the sleep he needs and is thriving. We did this at 1 year old as before then I felt he still needed the comfort but ever baby is different ☺️

This!

That sounds very normal to me. None of my children have been sleeping through the night at 2 years old. DS1 and DS2 both started sleeping through about 2.5 years. DS3 is only 13mo but not (reliably) sleeping through yet and still has night feeds most nights.

Is it working for you? Then there's no problem!

If it's not working for you and you don't want to wait for it to get better on its own, I like Lyndsay Hookway, she has a book for toddlers + called Still Awake.

How on earth is the suggestion of stopping overnight milk for a 2 year old and trying a period of time consistently resettling her in her own cot unhelpful advice??

The posts just stating ‘oh well, nothing you can do. Maybe they will sleep when they are 8!’ are surely the unhelpful ones.

"How on earth is the suggestion of stopping overnight milk for a 2 year old and trying a period of time consistently resettling her in her own cot unhelpful advice??

The posts just stating ‘oh well, nothing you can do. Maybe they will sleep when they are 8!’ are surely the unhelpful ones."

@luxxlisbon I was thinking the same thing. Unfortunately some people don't want to hear that they can change a routine and our actions in place that will benefit both parent and baby. Instead of doing whatever is easiest at the time which isn't always best for the child