why some parents hide their child is prepping for 11 plus?

[freesoul12]

I openly tell everyone if its asked about prepping for grammer schools . I have also come across to few moms in my dd1 s school they expressed like no way my child is doing that , then they all turned for the exam ? I mean why not admitting it , Is it something I dont get it? I mean I am sure if your child cant get through no one judge parents or child . I dont. As parent we do try our best to give every opportunity but did not know this is hard for parents to admit openly

It wasn't hidden at our primary school. People were happy to recommend their tutors (or not). We are in an area with several prep schools that prepare for the 11+ from Year 2. Our state school DC had a tutor once a week during Year 5 only, or parents went through the books themselves.

Maybe they just didn't do tutoring. I don't believe everyone does, only the middle classes could afford it surely? I'm on a single low wage, I certainly couldn't, £10 on a book, yes, but not tutoring and DS would have rejected any assistance from me.

State primary schools are not allowed to do any work or preparation for grammar school/ the 11 plus exam or even discuss any of it with parents, unless specifically asked. And then you are likely to get a woolly response. Given the exam covers curriculum covered throughout Y6, and the test is taken at the start of Y6, it doesn’t feel a particularly level playing field even for the “bright” kids. Sitting a long exam (and in our area it’s on a weekend in an unfamiliar setting) when you have not done the relevant revision seems quite unfair, particularly in relation to VR questions that many children will have zero exposure to.

Very different to the 80’s/90’s when ordinary state schools did do extra prep with the kids they thought would pass ( kids being taken out of class in small
groups to do “practice sheets”). And then everyone just did the test during the normal school day. Everything has changed. It’s a rubbish system, but it is what it is.

Surely most people don’t talk about it as ultimately it would put more pressure on the child afterwards. As more people would know about it and ask them, did you get in? Also think that probably all children need preparation from tutors or parents before sitting 11 plus as otherwise they would not be exposed to exam format etc. children don’t tend to do verbal reasoning etc in schools. It’s not fair as children who have engaged interested parents will always do better. You could argue that tuition actually makes things fairer as if you have parents who are not that familiar with the exams, they at least have a means of preparing their children for the exam. Also people never complain that a child who is good at football or sport has an unfair advantage because their parents have paid for extra mid week football training. Ultimately it’s likely that hard work and dedication even more than cognitive ability and intelligence leads to academic success.

I'm always confused with these threads - do the children not talk to each other.
We live in a London Borough on the edge of a grammar area & dd1 wasn't remotely interested when I talked about it/tutor summer pre-yr5, so I left it as her maths wasn't so strong, until her friends at school were discussing 11+ / schools etc & by May of yr 5 she wanted to do it too.

I'm always confused with these threads - do the children not talk to each other.
We were a few days off the plane and DS hadn't started school yet at the time of the test. He later found out another child had applied in his new primary but that was it. They didn't talk about it at secondary.

Mine wants to try for the grammar school, she is open to going to the local high school too but keener to be in all girls environment. She has started doing an hour a week group session and currently looking at VR. She is enjoying it. We’ve said there is no pressure from us and it just gives her different options. We will be reviewing in 6 months to see how it’s going and we will stop if she doesn’t want to continue or if it doesn’t look like the right choice for her. She has friends at school who have discussed and are doing similar. Some are not really wanting to do it and it’s more parent led. She also has a few friends who didn’t even know what the grammar school was. It’s no biggie, they just discussed it and then moved on to some thing else. Any fuss and rivalry comes from the parents I’m sure!

I don't understand this either. And if no tutoring occurred for 11+ I'm quite sure grammar schools would no longer be full.
I was tutored up to my eyeballs. I struggled in year 7 as I was still playing catch up from the rubbish state school I'd attended whilst sitting next to plenty of private schooled dc who had also been tutored. By gcse I was fine. I'm glad my parents tutored me for an exam I would probably have not stood a chance in.

@pinkypickyflowers

if no tutoring occurred for 11+ I'm quite sure grammar schools would no longer be full

They'd admit the same number, but the threshold would reduce.