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AIBU?

To charge my sibling rent?

203 replies

Inheritanceconfusion · 08/10/2022 21:01

My sibling and I inherited a property from our parents, when they died.


My sibling has been living there for about 18 months since probate was granted. The intention was to buy my share but that has been delayed for various reasons.


My sibling has not been paying anything for living there and I’ve recently discovered that they and their spouse are saving around £2k per month.


With costs of living and our own mortgage rising, I am considering asking them to pay me some rent on the property.


Would that be unreasonable? I think they would think so.

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

655 votes. Final results.

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You are being unreasonable
20%
You are NOT being unreasonable
80%
Tiani4 · 11/10/2022 17:30

I would get solicitors advice. It's be worth paying fee hundred pounds to get a fair arrangement proposed

You've waited 18 months and that's long enough

So I'd get the house revalued by 3 estate agents - take the middle "hope to achieve price" sale offer to sell your half to her - ask for achievable rent values- and look at some type of she pays 50% of rent to you and you share essential repair costs

Or is she spending money on repairing property (ask to see invoices) to maintain it that more
Than cover her fair share of your half of what you'd achieve rent

It could become very complex so I'd be suggesting she takes out a mortgage with a deadline to exchange on - it'll only get more
Expensive next year if she waits

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Lottylove · 11/10/2022 17:31

2k a month = 36k so far they’ve saved, while the other sibling continuing to pay out on a mortgage while it stretches on, I’d not be impressed

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Lurkerlot · 11/10/2022 17:36

Inheritanceconfusion · 10/10/2022 08:18

@Ninjachick We have determined the price of the property and there was a process for that.

@whowhatwerewhy I do like the way you’ve put it. One way or another, I need to release equity from an asset I own. Maybe giving them a choice is the way through.

I’ve recently experienced this exact problem. And the problem might be that your sibling cannot get a mortgage, and is not letting on.

Recently, our younger sibling wanted to buy us out of our parents property, as a single applicant she did not have enough deposit or earn enough to secure the funds she needed to buy us out. She was hoping to use her share of equity in the property to reduce the amount of mortgage she wanted to apply for. Trouble was, due our sibling now owning a share in the house, she was classed as remortgage applicant, and the mortgage broker couldn’t find a company willing to accept the equity already in the house as her deposit and also as a instrument to reduce sale value of the property. It was a shame as we had to sell the house to release the equity for sibling to prove to mortgage companies she had sufficient funding to buy house.

Your sibling needs a specialist mortgage broker, and you need to agree if they don’t buy you out by X time, then the property will put on the open market. I would actually do this with just your siblings and a solicitor, having the third party explain it, will show to your sibling how reasonable you are being.

Lastly, I think your other half is displaying gutless entitled cockery. Did he always plan on your inheritance being large enough to buy him out of his stressful job?

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gogohmm · 11/10/2022 17:41

I think it's reasonable to set a deadline of the end of the year to buy you out or put it on the market

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Drywhitefruitycidergin · 11/10/2022 17:52

Move in.....it's yours as much as hers.
Might focus her mind....
Alternatively you are not raiding her savings if you receive a larger portion of the property being liquidated say for the equivalent amount of 18 months of 50% market rate rent....

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Fuelledbycaffeine · 11/10/2022 18:34

YABU

I am in a similar situation - my siblings and I have inherited a house from our mum that they live in (although it has not quite been a year since our mum passed)

I am fortunate enough to own my home and I would NEVER ask them to pay rent. They earn less then I do and if living in that house gives them extra time to save a deposit and put them in a better position to buy I'm all for it.

I guess the question is what is worth more to you, your relationship with your sibling or money. As asking for rent is a sure fire way to ruin your relationship (I've seen it first hand with my mum and her siblings).

Rather than ask for rent perhaps have a chat and come up with a plan and timeframe for sale that works for you both and you both agree with.

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whowhatwerewhy · 11/10/2022 19:18

Also you might have to pay capital gains . I think you have two years to sell after probate , after should the property increase in value it will be subject to capital gains tax .

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Cbt123 · 11/10/2022 22:13

I think it could create a bit of an atmosphere asking for rent., but I don’t disagree with them paying it.
I know someone in a similar situation (they are you in this scenario). Although they don’t own their house so also pay rent. Their sibling moved into their parents home before their dad passed away (relocation). The plan was to rent the parents house out & split the income from this, so effectively they’re 2.5 years out of their share of rent.
For you, if the house was sold & split you’d have had inheritance earlier, I suppose it’s how much that means to you/ how much it would impact you as to whether you’d want to broach this. It could make it awkward.

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Bluebellsparklypant · 11/10/2022 23:07

If it’s not costing you any money is it worth falling out with your sibling over this?
my DM died and left her house between me and my siblings 1 sibling brought us others out it did take abit of time but I’d never of wanted to fall out with them over this. Talk to them calmly about what you had both agreed, be an adult about this and not revert back to young sibling rivalry

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Cameleongirl · 12/10/2022 01:05

whowhatwerewhy · 11/10/2022 19:18

Also you might have to pay capital gains . I think you have two years to sell after probate , after should the property increase in value it will be subject to capital gains tax .

So the OP will have to pay capital gains tax on any increase in the home's value since probate was granted, if her sister waits more than two years to buy her out?

That means the OP could be shafted twice, first for waiting all this time (with no rent), second with possible capital gains tax. Never mind other considerations like selling another property from the estate, her sister only has a few months to sort this out.

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randomusername02 · 12/10/2022 05:00

Yab(s)u and you risk damaging the close relationship you have with your sibling by asking for rent. If they refuse ( do you think they would) you would need to go to court to either force them to pay rent or buy your half sooner. This will take many many months and thousands upon thousands of pounds. I'd imagine it would cause irreversible damage to your relationship. I would suggest having the other property put fully into your name as part/whole payment of your siblings half share of the house they are in, and if you are so desperate for cash, renting that one out.

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whowhatwerewhy · 12/10/2022 06:10

@Cameleongirl

Yes I believe op could pay capital gains , she needs legal advice.
My DC inherit my home , one will likely to still be living at home . I asked if a sibling remained at home could the other force sale . The answer was yes sale could be forced and if it was longer than two years they would pay capital gains .
I didn't want to do a life interest in the property ( don't want one paying rent or mortgage, while one lives for free ).

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Musti · 12/10/2022 07:10

Of course they need to pay! Having said that the price of the property has probably gone up in the last 18 months so they can either backdate rent or pay the new price.

Why should you and your family struggle whilst your sibling is living rent free at your cost?

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Fraaahnces · 12/10/2022 07:15

I think they’re taking advantage of your situation. If you don’t formalize anything, the house will be all theirs anyway. I would get the solicitor to insist upon a fair (and backdated) rent and that the house be sold (at the going rate) asap - either to them or someone else.

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CarbsAreNotMyFriend · 12/10/2022 07:26

Absolutely not unreasonable. You have been missing out on an income from it being commercially rented out for 18 months. If I was your sibling I would be offering you rent.

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Tiani4 · 12/10/2022 07:40

This is useful

Note - it isn't certain OP could force a sale of the house, even if she wanted to.

www.homesellingexpert.co.uk/guides/inheriting-a-house-with-siblings

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ApolloandDaphne · 12/10/2022 07:41

You own half the house so you could ask for half the market rate of rent and you pay half of any repairs. That would be fair.

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Hereward1332 · 12/10/2022 09:28

I am amazed at all the posters saying its not worth falling out with your sibling over. If my sibling was using my property to do me out of tens of thousands pounds, I think the responsibility for ruining the relationship would lie with them.

If it were a cash rather than a house, would it be reasonable for them to keep all the interest it earned

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Cameleongirl · 12/10/2022 14:27

whowhatwerewhy · 12/10/2022 06:10

@Cameleongirl

Yes I believe op could pay capital gains , she needs legal advice.
My DC inherit my home , one will likely to still be living at home . I asked if a sibling remained at home could the other force sale . The answer was yes sale could be forced and if it was longer than two years they would pay capital gains .
I didn't want to do a life interest in the property ( don't want one paying rent or mortgage, while one lives for free ).

Thanks for the explanation, @whowhatwerewhy . This really brings home what a mess the OP is in, she must get legal advice quickly and decide what to do.

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whowhatwerewhy · 12/10/2022 15:23

@Cameleongirl
Yes op needs legal advice, I'm no solicitor and can only comment on my dealings when sorting my will .
I've left a letter alongside my will ,basically saying they are both to benefit from my death , this might mean delaying the sale for 6 months while one of them finds a home. But equally they can't expect to sit in the house forever just paying bills when there sibling has a mortgage/ rent and bills.
I believe op stared out with good intentions towards her sibling, and still does , but the process is taking far longer than expected.
Op is now facing the cost of living going up , plans for her own family put on hold while her sibling is able to save . I think it's perfectly acceptable for op to want her equity from the house or an income from it .

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RonSwansonsChair · 12/10/2022 15:31

Inheritanceconfusion · 08/10/2022 21:17

That is the intention @Cameleongirl but it’s taking a long time with no sign of it speeding up.

Of course your sis won't speed it up, then she would have to start paying a mortgage. As it is she living there rent free and mortgage free. You need to talk to her.

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Pixiedust1234 · 12/10/2022 15:43

You need to speak to a solicitor and find out all your options. But you need a deadline as a minimum. Either buyout or sell but it has to happen. Be firm.

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1HappyTraveller · 12/10/2022 19:00

If early days I would have been less bothered but after 18 months they are taking the mick a little. How are they getting along with applying for a mortgage to buy your share? Are they hoping to buy you outright by saving up? Or waiting until the market crashes and paying market rate then?

Also have they been appropriately maintaining the property whilst they’ve been staying in it? Because I would hope they would see that as their responsibility.

You need to have a discussion with your sibling and set yourselves a deadline. If it isn’t realistic that they can afford a mortgage then you may want to consider just selling the home and splitting the money so that you can each do with it as you wish. Best to have this discussion sooner rather than later as it has already been 18 months.

On a separate note - you aren’t paying money out to your siblings family directly and wouldn’t have even had the property unless your parents passed away. So regardless of your husbands stressful job he doesn’t come across well from your comments.

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whowhatwerewhy · 13/10/2022 08:14

1HappyTraveller · 12/10/2022 19:00

If early days I would have been less bothered but after 18 months they are taking the mick a little. How are they getting along with applying for a mortgage to buy your share? Are they hoping to buy you outright by saving up? Or waiting until the market crashes and paying market rate then?

Also have they been appropriately maintaining the property whilst they’ve been staying in it? Because I would hope they would see that as their responsibility.

You need to have a discussion with your sibling and set yourselves a deadline. If it isn’t realistic that they can afford a mortgage then you may want to consider just selling the home and splitting the money so that you can each do with it as you wish. Best to have this discussion sooner rather than later as it has already been 18 months.

On a separate note - you aren’t paying money out to your siblings family directly and wouldn’t have even had the property unless your parents passed away. So regardless of your husbands stressful job he doesn’t come across well from your comments.

I think her husband is being more than understanding, I don't blame him for wanting this resolved after 18 months.
Why should he keep working in a stressful job when ops sister sits happily rent free . He's working for his family and her sister is saving 2k a month. If this is what she's saving on rent his family could have 1k a month coming in to make his family life better.
He might want to cut back a few hours for a better family life who can blame him.

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budgiegirl · 13/10/2022 09:56

I think her husband is being more than understanding, I don't blame him for wanting this resolved after 18 months.

Why should he keep working in a stressful job when ops sister sits happily rent free . He's working for his family and her sister is saving 2k a month. If this is what she's saving on rent his family could have 1k a month coming in to make his family life better.

He might want to cut back a few hours for a better family life who can blame him


Totally agree with this. I can absolutely understand how he might feel quite frustrated with the situation. If I was the OP, I would want it resolved so my DH didn't have to work in such a stressful job - after all, who wants that for their other half?

It's is tricky, because it's the OPs sister who is holding things up (intentionally or not) but it doesn't change the situation that the OP, and her family, is not benefitting from the inheritance, while the sister is saving money.

At the very least, the sister should have offered some sort of payment to the OP, rather than just living there for free. And there does need to be a deadline on the situation, otherwise it could just drift on indefinitely.

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