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AIBU?

Childminder doesn't change DD nappy

85 replies

Mawface · 08/10/2022 18:14

Hi, so I've been using a CM for about 6 weeks 2-3 times a week now.
DD goes to nursery from 8.30 to 11.30 and on the days she goes to CM is picked up about 2.30/3pm. At nursery they have a snack & change at 10.30am but when I pick DD up from CM she has her nursery nappies on.
I know they're the same nappies because I gave the nursery Amazon branded ones (they're orange with elephants so quite distinctive) and when she's been at CM she still has them on. I know most people would say change about 4 hours but on Friday her nappy was huge,the way if you touch it it's wet through?
WIBU to say something? She also doesn't wipe her face at all after eating and when I pick her up she still has lunch on her. I've never used a CM before but when she's done at nursery she's all clean and fresh and it's just so different after CM.

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Am I being unreasonable?

486 votes. Final results.

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You are NOT being unreasonable
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blebbleb · 08/10/2022 18:16

She's not doing her job properly if she's too lazy to clean or change your child! I'd change childminders straight away.

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blebbleb · 08/10/2022 18:17

We use a childminder for our son and he comes back clean with a fresh nappy every day.

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Yika · 08/10/2022 18:17

Terrible. Change childminder.

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Floofboopsnootandbork · 08/10/2022 18:18

She absolutely should be, how old is your dd? I used to work with a childminder and we had the 2 hr rule for nappy changes, sometimes it was obvious that a child didn’t need changing so would be left for a bit but still changed by 3 hours. This was from small babies right up to 3/4 year olds.

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Rainbowcat99 · 08/10/2022 18:20

That isn't great, no. Have you spoken to her about it?
Since you seem happy with nursery can she not stay there for the afternoon?

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Workinghardeveryday · 08/10/2022 18:20

😳. That is not good at all.

The poor lamb being left like that.

You are paying for a service. She is not providing it. It is basic care.

There are other childminders. Find a new one

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KermitlovesKeyLimePie · 08/10/2022 18:20

Dirty beggar!

DS17 is severely disabled and still in nappies.

He is always in a fresh pad when he gets in from school.

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Always4Brenner · 08/10/2022 18:22

💔💔💔😮😮😮😮😮poor baby no change immediately I mean childminder this is not good at all rashes soreness etc.

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Mawface · 08/10/2022 18:30

Floofboopsnootandbork · 08/10/2022 18:18

She absolutely should be, how old is your dd? I used to work with a childminder and we had the 2 hr rule for nappy changes, sometimes it was obvious that a child didn’t need changing so would be left for a bit but still changed by 3 hours. This was from small babies right up to 3/4 year olds.

She's 14 months. It's DP that usually picks her up so I haven't saw her as she gets changed when she's home but I just happened to be finished early last week/this week and noticed it's the same nappies. The ones I give CM everyday are the ones she uses at home which are 2 completely different brands/designs.

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Darbs76 · 08/10/2022 18:32

Of course you should say something. Not cleaning her face is not acceptable either - these are basics

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girlmom21 · 08/10/2022 18:32

Can nursery not have her all day?

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mummatara · 08/10/2022 18:33

My childminder changes every few hours and I know they always change him before he comes home about 4.30

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Ponderingwindow · 08/10/2022 18:34

You shouldn’t even be asking this question. This person is not properly caring for your child. You could ask for changes, but would you really trust a person who thinks this kind of care is acceptable?

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Mawface · 08/10/2022 18:35

girlmom21 · 08/10/2022 18:32

Can nursery not have her all day?

They have no space just now as her room is full but on the list for extra hours when they're available 😔

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Mawface · 08/10/2022 18:38

mummatara · 08/10/2022 18:33

My childminder changes every few hours and I know they always change him before he comes home about 4.30

She knows she's picked up at half 2/3 At the latest so I can't understand why she wouldn't do a quick change then. Half the kids are down for naps when I pick her up and she has an assistant helping her.

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TooMuchToDoTooLittleInclination · 08/10/2022 18:39

I wouldn't even discuss it with her, I'd just move DD. New childminder or longer at nursery. I prefer childminders (if a nanny is unaffordable) but if your current childminder isn't wiping her face or changing her happy, then where else is she underperforming that you don't see??

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2bazookas · 08/10/2022 18:41

If she 's too lazy/incompetent to give a shit about your child's hygeine, god knows what filthy/dangerous state her home is in.

she is REQUIRED to be govt registered and meet certain standards of hygeine,

If she isn't registered, (illegal) your child (and others) may be neglected and at risk in worse ways you're unaware of.

Take your child away then report her to the local council.

www.gov.uk/become-childminder-nanny

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FirstnameSuesecondnamePerb · 08/10/2022 18:46

I would change childminder.

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StressedToTheMaxxx · 08/10/2022 18:50

Even if she didn't need changed, you'd think she'd do a quick change knowing that she's about to get collected. I'd ask her about it. Your poor wee one could end up with a nappy rash due to her neglect.

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Mawface · 08/10/2022 19:00

StressedToTheMaxxx · 08/10/2022 18:50

Even if she didn't need changed, you'd think she'd do a quick change knowing that she's about to get collected. I'd ask her about it. Your poor wee one could end up with a nappy rash due to her neglect.

Thats what i cant understand as she always has her ready with her jacket on ready to go but can't wipe her face? I'll be speaking to her next week & looking into someone new because yes I know it's not right but I wanted to make sure I WBU before I pulled her up about it.

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Brigante9 · 08/10/2022 19:04

Just speak to her and tell her these basics need doing. It’s embarrassing (for her) that she isn’t doing this. Of course you aren’t being unreasonable to tell her. I told my dogwalker to take off his collar before popping the dog back in his crate, it’s bogstandard, fgs. If a child is coming home soaked, I’d be having serious words.

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Mawface · 08/10/2022 19:06

2bazookas · 08/10/2022 18:41

If she 's too lazy/incompetent to give a shit about your child's hygeine, god knows what filthy/dangerous state her home is in.

she is REQUIRED to be govt registered and meet certain standards of hygeine,

If she isn't registered, (illegal) your child (and others) may be neglected and at risk in worse ways you're unaware of.

Take your child away then report her to the local council.

www.gov.uk/become-childminder-nanny

She is definitely registered and had very good reviews.

I was in her house before she started and it was spotless so didn't think there was any issues it's just been recently that it seems to be slipping. DP did say a few times her face was dirty and he would wipe her when shes in the car but I only saw how bad it actually is when I've been there for her coming home and told him not to wipe her.

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Whatacarryonthisis · 08/10/2022 19:15

I’d just go elsewhere she isn’t. A good child minder

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johnd2 · 08/10/2022 19:18

I think a fresh nappy is a nice touch, but you're paying for the spares so maybe people also complain about high nappy usage.
Honestly you need to bring it up if it bothers you or if it's causing an issue eg rash or wet clothes. Obviously if she reacts badly to your conversation then it's time to move. But it's a conversation you need to have, as the childminder is not psychic.
Take care.

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Thesearmsofmine · 08/10/2022 19:22

This is really basic care that she is neglecting and I would be concerned that if she cba to do the basic stuff, what else is going is she not doing.

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