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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Childminder doesn't change DD nappy

85 replies

Mawface · 08/10/2022 18:14

Hi, so I've been using a CM for about 6 weeks 2-3 times a week now.
DD goes to nursery from 8.30 to 11.30 and on the days she goes to CM is picked up about 2.30/3pm. At nursery they have a snack & change at 10.30am but when I pick DD up from CM she has her nursery nappies on.
I know they're the same nappies because I gave the nursery Amazon branded ones (they're orange with elephants so quite distinctive) and when she's been at CM she still has them on. I know most people would say change about 4 hours but on Friday her nappy was huge,the way if you touch it it's wet through?
WIBU to say something? She also doesn't wipe her face at all after eating and when I pick her up she still has lunch on her. I've never used a CM before but when she's done at nursery she's all clean and fresh and it's just so different after CM.

OP posts:
Noteverybodylives · 08/10/2022 19:23

I’d think a one off was ok but this is definitely not on.

If you don’t feel comfortable saying anything then I would actually pick DD up in your arms and place your hand under her bum when she’s on your hip and act surprised that her nappy is full.

I had an awful childminder and I stayed with her for years because I felt I had no other option but it’s one of my biggest regrets and I wish I took my DD out much sooner.

Original poster
Mawface · 08/10/2022 19:27

Noteverybodylives · 08/10/2022 19:23

I’d think a one off was ok but this is definitely not on.

If you don’t feel comfortable saying anything then I would actually pick DD up in your arms and place your hand under her bum when she’s on your hip and act surprised that her nappy is full.

I had an awful childminder and I stayed with her for years because I felt I had no other option but it’s one of my biggest regrets and I wish I took my DD out much sooner.

This is a great idea. She's back 3 days next week so I'm going to see how the first day goes but I'll be saying something on the 2nd day. She was really my only option at the time, all other CM near me where full or couldn't take her because of the hours. I'll be looking into someone new if it's the same next week.

OP posts:
justmaybenot · 08/10/2022 19:47

Why can't you just tell the CM what time you'll be collecting your DD at, and ask her to please make sure she has a clean nappy and a clean face in time? WHY would people advise you leave the CM instead of simply communicating?!

blebbleb · 08/10/2022 19:58

@justmaybenot surely this is not something that needs to be communicated to a childminder? It's common sense to clean and change a baby, especially if you are paid to do so. Just shows how lazy and negligent they are.

NoWayRose · 08/10/2022 20:14

If she can’t be bothered to wipe a face or change a nappy - the things that are visible to the parents - it doesn’t bode well for the things you can’t see, like interacting, not being on phone etc

Glitterbomber · 08/10/2022 20:18

I wouldn’t even broach it will the CM, I would get a new one asap! That’s neglecting basic care

Thehop · 08/10/2022 20:20

I’m a CM and always wash faces with a warm soapy flannel after meals and nappies should be changed regularly. That’s an absolute basic requirement is clean and changed. Your poor dd.

justmaybenot · 08/10/2022 20:28

Only on MN would people ask strangers what to do without actually communicating w the person they've a problem with. It's bizarre. Just ask for what you want, you're paying for a service, end of story.

MummyJasmin · 08/10/2022 20:30

Inexcusable.

Poor baby.

Original poster
Mawface · 08/10/2022 20:35

justmaybenot · 08/10/2022 20:28

Only on MN would people ask strangers what to do without actually communicating w the person they've a problem with. It's bizarre. Just ask for what you want, you're paying for a service, end of story.

Are you not allowed to ask opinions? I wanted to know if I was BU about the nappy change as when I looked on another forum alot of other CM said they only change every 4 hours. Give it a by.

OP posts:
Belladonnamama · 08/10/2022 20:38

When I was a childminder I always made sure that children were sent home with a fresh nappy change,clean hands and face.

Thegreenballoon · 08/10/2022 20:42

You shouldn’t have to communicate to a responsible adult, much less a childcare professional, that you’d like your child to be changed when wet and cleaned when covered in leftover lunch. It’s not a personal preference issue like wooden toys or location of naps, it’s an absolute basic of looking after a baby. It’s fairly obvious when a nappy is wet and heavy and the CM shouldn’t need telling. It’s neglect and I wouldn’t trust the CM again.

ThreeWarriors · 08/10/2022 20:51

Find a new one. Former childminder here and as a minimum I changed nappies once in the morning, after lunch and sometime before going home too. Each child had their own facecloth.

sandytooth · 08/10/2022 20:51

johnd2 · 08/10/2022 19:18

I think a fresh nappy is a nice touch, but you're paying for the spares so maybe people also complain about high nappy usage.
Honestly you need to bring it up if it bothers you or if it's causing an issue eg rash or wet clothes. Obviously if she reacts badly to your conversation then it's time to move. But it's a conversation you need to have, as the childminder is not psychic.
Take care.

Seriously? Who complains that their child's nappy is changed?!

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 08/10/2022 20:53

Never mind saying something. She's not be going back if she was my child. She isn't being cared for. The childminder isn't doing basic things so I'd imagine she isn't doing anything else either

sandytooth · 08/10/2022 20:53

Glitterbomber · 08/10/2022 20:18

I wouldn’t even broach it will the CM, I would get a new one asap! That’s neglecting basic care

Same

SwordToFlamethrower · 08/10/2022 20:57

I was a cm and no child left my setting without a fresh nappy on. I would have died a thousand deaths if a child went home in a dirty nappy.

Basic respect for the child and parents. Clean, fed, watered and happy.

Original poster
Mawface · 08/10/2022 20:58

sandytooth · 08/10/2022 20:51

Seriously? Who complains that their child's nappy is changed?!

Show quote history

I also thought this? I provide the nappies for reason..?

OP posts:
ladywithnomanors · 08/10/2022 20:59

Speak to her. Let her know exactly what you expect from her. Honestly keeping your baby clean is basic care that should be done without even thinking. See what she says.

parsniiips · 08/10/2022 21:00

Absolutely diabolical to call yourself a childminder and not make sure a child in your care is clean and dry.

I would ask her outright, don't pussy foot around.

"Why is my child always wearing the same nappy she wore to nursery when we collect from you?"

There is no reasonable answer, but I'd be interested to hear her excuse.

Then I'd be removing my child and finding someone who knows how to do their job.

But I wouldn't let it go on long, first day in a sodden nappy that I knew hadn't been touched I'd be pulling them up on it.

PlinkyPlonk1 · 08/10/2022 21:00

I'm a childminder and I tell my clients how many nappies I've changed that day in the daily diary I send them.

It's not good but my first port of call would be to say "what time did she have a nappy change?" and see what she says. You could always say " her nappy has been getting full, have you noticed that at all?"

I think though that I would just find a new childminder.

mama3bears · 08/10/2022 21:05

I used to be a child minder and the children I cared for had daily diaries where I recorded everything they done, eaten, times of nappy change etc. This then went home with them every evening so their family knew what they'd been up to and how many times they'd been changed.
Surely it's just basic common sense that a child either needs a nappy change or to be taken to the toilet every few hours.
Definitely speak to the CM about it and if not happy with her response look elsewhere for child care.

altmember · 08/10/2022 21:09

Mawface · 08/10/2022 18:30

She's 14 months. It's DP that usually picks her up so I haven't saw her as she gets changed when she's home but I just happened to be finished early last week/this week and noticed it's the same nappies. The ones I give CM everyday are the ones she uses at home which are 2 completely different brands/designs.

Show quote history

So where are the nappies that you give to the cm going? Do the unused ones come back with her or are they disappearing?

justmaybenot · 08/10/2022 21:12

YANBU to ask, sorry but I'd presume you wouldn't dream of sending your child to that childminder again without first making it clear that you want the CM to change her nappy and clean her face. Poor baby

RedWingBoots · 08/10/2022 21:16

johnd2 · 08/10/2022 19:18

I think a fresh nappy is a nice touch, but you're paying for the spares so maybe people also complain about high nappy usage.
Honestly you need to bring it up if it bothers you or if it's causing an issue eg rash or wet clothes. Obviously if she reacts badly to your conversation then it's time to move. But it's a conversation you need to have, as the childminder is not psychic.
Take care.

It's not a bloody nice touch.

My DD sometimes ended up in random nappies. Since I was given nappies other parents didn't want as their children no longer wore nappies/pull ups, and now have spares to give away I stopped caring.

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