DD in new Au Pair Job - Working Hours

[ForeignerMN]

My DD (18) has just started an aupair placement in Barcelona (she is a dual EU citizen). She has been working for almost two weeks now. She has a contract for 30 hours. She looks after a 2 1/2 year old boy. Both parents work full time, one WFH. She has to get the little boy up, ready and to nursery in the morning, then pick him up in the afternoon and entertain / feed / bath and put him to bed. There was little communication when DD arrived as to tasks and working hours when she arrived. The host mother (HM) is now making a schedule for the week after DD asked for one. The schedule is specified to 5 minute intervals. DD is finding that all the tasks are taking longer as 1) she isn't the child's mother 2) the child doesn't want DD to do things for him when his parents are in the house, either during the day with the WFH parent or in the evening when both parents are home but DD has to put the child to bed.

On top, the HM is only planning DD for 20-25 hours a week and creating a "hour bank" for the hours DD hasn't worked to be carried over to the next week. She has been there less than two weeks and apparently has -7 hours. Next week she has been given a schedule where she should look after the child in the morning when she's supposed to be in her third day of language class (20hrs a week in total) as there isn't any nursery. On top, she has been told that meeting friends and going out twice a week is "too much" and this au pair position is a "full time job". DD is already ready to walk. To make things worse, the Host Dad is actually an old work colleague and we thought this would be easier than an unknown family. Would I be unreasonable to phone and talk to them and help my DD clear this up? Is HM being unreasonable? Carrying the hours forward isn't right, right? If it goes on like this, she have to work an extra month by Christmas...

This is dreadful, op. Your poor daughter. They're definitely taking the piss. This is not an au pair and when do they expect your daughter to have fun and enjoy the culture and learn the language? (Like an au pair is supposed to do).

I don't understand why she would need to pay hours back? Surely she finishes when the child goes to bed and that's it? It sounds like a complicated system.
I know a couple of people from Barcelona and they were similarly... unusual. Yet I went there and it was lovely!
Is she there to learn catalan?

Assuming you are in the Uk you were underpaying

Well personally I think that would be an enormous mistake.

Maybe things have changed. This was over 30 years ago and was through a very reputable agency where expectations were clearly spelled out for both au pairs and host families.

im going back to the 1970s and it would appear by the many comments on this thread that it’s still the situation now. An au pair and nanny are different

This is the schedule including the bank hours...

Assuming you are in the Uk you were underpaying

how do you work that out for a 20 year old?

I'm not disagreeing that they're different. What I am saying is that what the nanny and the au pair actually do while they're taking care of the kids is basically the same.

Jeez, do the parents spend any time at all with their child?

250£ a week for what amounted to usually 20 hours or less as we paid her for days off and she didn’t work all 5 days and lunch/meals out at home and restaurants were included it was fine. My SIL is the same age and had a london internship and was getting significant lower than that.

Batshit

Agree

That’s €10/day or just over €2/hour 😵‍💫
seriously you and she thought that was ok ?

70 euros a week for 30 hours with room and board??? Shocking! That is 2.33 euros an hour. The fact she gets room and board is no excuse for this type of exploitation. If they employed s live in nanny they would have to provide at least the minimum wage as well as room and board. Although she isn't a qualified nanny she is expected to do responsible child care and other work. Who gets that level of committment for 2.33 euros an hour? Sadly many people seem to expect au pairs to be very cheap labour without keeping their side of the bargain.. time for au pair to experience another culture, travel, enjoy living as family with hosts who should make an effort to link them with other young people, help them find courses and make sure they have time for them and take them about a bit.
I would be advising your daughter to put it down to experience and return back home. There are people out there who understand the mutual responsibilities and advantages of having an au pair and she should easily get another opportunity. Next time around agree hours, time off and expected study and cultural opportunities before setting off. 😃

Schedule, pay and carrying the hours over are mental. Her putting a two year old to bed majority of nights, ridiculous. Could understand it as a one off. I would get the hell out.

That is the normal amount for an aupair in Spain - it can be found on all aupair websites you can find...

Oh Au Pair families can expect practically slave labour! When I was interviewed, one example was a family who wanted me to look after 3 kids, including a small baby! The parents worked across a border so that meant until 7/8pm in the evenings and I was told I was not allowed a boyfriend and had to be available on weekends!

Thankfully I refused (after advice) and instead worked with an 8 and 12 Yr old ( granted situation was entirely different, mother had MH issues rather than working) but I only.worked a few hours a day and paid €90 a week and had loads of free time.

Loads of families are desperate for an au pair, they get a cracking deal. Get her out and she can find a new family for Jan no problem I sure!

Your daughter is being exploited and should be protected.

Normal amount for an au pair but she's doing the work of a nanny. It's definitely not on and I'd either talk to them myself or tell your daughter to move on. It's too much and not fair at all.

Hours and time off (2 days a week) were agreed in advance. Tasks were pretty clear too - bring the child to nursery and pick him up and do his evening routine. That isn't really the problem - DD is prepared to do that, but it's the time specifications for tasks that take twice as long with a grumpy toddler who wants his parent and the hour bank for hours she has no control over... even the money is normal, if you base it on au pair tasks... that's part of the package...

For comparison
I was a live in nanny in Oxford - paid a decent wage and had food covered by the family. I worked full time hours. From 6am until 8pm some days.

We also had an au pair living with us. She only did drop offs in the morning and pick ups in the evening and covered a Friday afternoon. The rest of the time was her free time. With an occasional babysit in the evening arranged in advance.
Her food was covered by the family.

The family your daughter is working for are taking the piss. Get her out now. It will only get worse.

@shiningstar2 you do not have to pay minimum wage, even in the UK. The following is copied and pasted from gov.uk:

"Au pairs usually live with the family they work for and are unlikely to be classed as workers or employees. They are not entitled to the National Minimum Wage or paid holidays.

They’re treated as a member of the family they live with and get ‘pocket money’ instead - usually at least £90 a week."

OP... how many hours is she actually working? Cos although you say she starts in the morning and finishes at bed time I presume this isn't eveey day or there's no chance she'd be 'banking' hours.

I think the word exploitation is being chucked about willy nilly on this thread. Perhaps it is, but not without more information. The reality seems to be a misunderstanding of expectations on both sides and some decent communication is definitely required. Ideally that should be from her.

I had my first proper job at 17 in a major oil company. Not a chance would I have let my parents call them up to have a word if things weren't going well. Would you get involved if she worked in a bank or a school?

No. That's awful.

Totally agree with this. We've had many au pairs in the past and seeing friends in the evening / weekends or going to language classes in the day (when the children are in school) are all totally normal. The 'hour bank' is not acceptable.

We did have it written into the contracts that we got 2x evenings per month babysitting included - we chose the night but they could say no if the date didn't suit (although to be fair, they never did).

Given you know the dad, it might be worth speaking to him to see what he says, but otherwise id tell her to leave as when it starts out this way, it's unlikely to get much better!

Omg your poor dd!
That's micro managing and absolute exploitation of a young woman.
It's actually made me feel a bit sick...my dd is 18 and if she was being treated like that I'd be absolutely livid.
Of course ring the family ASAP and ask what the fuck is going on...banking hours?!?! For fucks sake that's absolutely ludicrous.
I'm all for teens becoming independent but this is one occasion where you should absolutely step in to help your dd!

The schedule is planning her for 5:05hrs per day - next week for four days and an extra 45 mins when the child doesn't have nursery. As she is only planned for four days she has minus hours next week, which added to the -7 of the last two weeks. She hasn't got a say in when they plan the hours - she is willing to work five