DD in new Au Pair Job - Working Hours

[ForeignerMN]

My DD (18) has just started an aupair placement in Barcelona (she is a dual EU citizen). She has been working for almost two weeks now. She has a contract for 30 hours. She looks after a 2 1/2 year old boy. Both parents work full time, one WFH. She has to get the little boy up, ready and to nursery in the morning, then pick him up in the afternoon and entertain / feed / bath and put him to bed. There was little communication when DD arrived as to tasks and working hours when she arrived. The host mother (HM) is now making a schedule for the week after DD asked for one. The schedule is specified to 5 minute intervals. DD is finding that all the tasks are taking longer as 1) she isn't the child's mother 2) the child doesn't want DD to do things for him when his parents are in the house, either during the day with the WFH parent or in the evening when both parents are home but DD has to put the child to bed.

On top, the HM is only planning DD for 20-25 hours a week and creating a "hour bank" for the hours DD hasn't worked to be carried over to the next week. She has been there less than two weeks and apparently has -7 hours. Next week she has been given a schedule where she should look after the child in the morning when she's supposed to be in her third day of language class (20hrs a week in total) as there isn't any nursery. On top, she has been told that meeting friends and going out twice a week is "too much" and this au pair position is a "full time job". DD is already ready to walk. To make things worse, the Host Dad is actually an old work colleague and we thought this would be easier than an unknown family. Would I be unreasonable to phone and talk to them and help my DD clear this up? Is HM being unreasonable? Carrying the hours forward isn't right, right? If it goes on like this, she have to work an extra month by Christmas...

@Darbs76 that’s not on heard of it all, the young girl that we had with the shitty family the mother used to listen to the child screaming its head off with the au pair while she tried to settle it, mother just turned the tally up and left her to it. One time the three-year-old picked up both her shoes and slammed them at the wall, the mother banged the wall back. I mean wouldn’t you bounce out of your chair to see what the hell just happened ?

Louise Woodward was absolved of any wrongdoing, it is not clear what happened unfortunately. But those parents also put a young inexperienced woman under a lot of stress in a nanny role whilst paying for an au pair. She should never have had some charge of an 8 month old plus a toddler for hours a day.

I agree with you about putting the child to bed. I only had to do that occasionally when the parents happened to be out.

The mother I worked for didn't work outside the home, so she was home a lot, but she quite often went out leaving me with the toddler, and I also took the child with me to run errands or take them to playgroups, etc.

€70 per week plus room & Board

@Anonymous48 we were far from perfect parents when our children were little but no we did not hire unqualified staff to take care of our children when they were non-verbal if we went out for the evening we organised a babysitter from the children’s nursery and paid them properly the rate that they would receive during the day.

So do you mean that if it takes ten minutes to pin the child down for his bath, she has to make up those minutes out of her own time?

Absolute piss take. I used to pay my pay my au pair $300 a week to do before and after school run and one night of babysitting.

To be honest, I didn't think it was a very different job on a day to day basis. (I had friends at the time who were nannies and friends who were au pairs.)

Nannies were paid more and often worked longer hours. Au pairs were considered more part of the family, with cultural and travel experiences provided for them by the host family.

That is a fucking joke for 30 hours a week!!!!!!!

How much is she getting paid?

au pairs are supposed to be part of the family, eat with the family and get a room along with pocket money

Nah.
Find her agencies and you can send them reuqests together. It eill be one great growing up time for her tbh and it must be very scary, but she can do it.

I know quite a few aupairs who had to leave lretty quickly. One was banned by family from eating any fruit they bought.... Had to buy her own from the pocket money...

Fair enough. But plenty of families (with good caring parents) are happy to hire a local teenager to babysit, even before the child is verbal.

At the moment, it looks like it, yeah - DD hasn't done written down all the hours as a comparison yet, but she's already received a schedule for next week where her hour bank has been increased to 12 with no remit to enter her actual hours

AuPairs don’t get paid (meant to get pocket money) and are expected to do 30 hours a week including babysitting in the evenings and housework.

To be honest, I didn't think it was a very different job on a day to day basis. (I had friends at the time who were nannies and friends who were au pairs.)

well it’s supposed to be different, if you didn’t think it was different then that’s a problem

Sounds like slavery.

Normally as they live rent free they only get the pocket money.

I got approx half that spending money as an au pair - but that was 35 years ago. I did cleaning, laundry and main meal prep in the morning and not much in the afternoon. I helped with tea in the evening. My two were 13 and 8. I went on trips with the family and was well looked after. Your daughter is being exploited.

30 hours? Has that changed recently? I could swear it was 15 and mother's help wast 25+ a week

but she's already received a schedule for next week where her hour bank has been increased to 12 with no remit to enter her actual hours

au pair shouldn’t be receiving a schedule, it’s not a job and this person is treating it as a job.

I was exploited by a family as a mother's help. Hurt that my parents could not support. Honestly, speak up and sort it.

What is bothering me the most it the "hour bank" - she has no say in the hours she's assigned...
I have offered to speak to the host family if DD can't sort it herself - she is a very emotional 18yr old and it will most likely always end in tears.. I do want her to try first though - she wanted some independance and she needs to at least try, but because of the "friendship", I'm slightly more involved than normal...

Normally as they live rent free they only get the pocket money.

the family should be letting an au pair eat with the children at least, they shouldn’t be buying their own food for meals

Maybe things have changed. This was over 30 years ago and was through a very reputable agency where expectations were clearly spelled out for both au pairs and host families.

This is all very wrong. I used to pay my au pairs £150 a week 10 years ago. They are there to lend a hand, not be a nanny. If they work fewer hours one week, so be it.