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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Collecting wife from the pub

98 replies

Bloom1406 · 07/10/2022 20:05

Am I being reasonable to think it’s shitty of my wife to expect me to collect her at the very least after 8.30pm from the pub 30minutes away when we’ve a 4 month old baby I’ve looked after all day? I was originally told she’d be ready to leave around ‘tea time’ and we’d get food. Safe to say I haven’t been near a pub in years due to ivf journey and pregnancy and to be fair neither has she.

I also have two barking dogs to contend with and I’ll be livid if she’s hungover tomorrow as that means a day in bed for her.

made up the spare bed just in case I throw a wobbly 🙈

OP posts:
ToGanymedeAndTitan · 07/10/2022 21:10

Why can't she get a taxi/bus?
What does she expect you to do with the baby, surely baby doesn't want ragging about into a car seat at that time, mine would have been in bed at that age.

Sunnyqueen · 07/10/2022 21:13

Tell her to get a taxi when she's done and prepare to let her have a day In bed tomorrow. In the meantime order yourself a nice take out and get organising a night out for your self in the next weekend possible.

ToGanymedeAndTitan · 07/10/2022 21:15

Sorry I wasn’t clear - we’re gay
Not sure why some posters don't seem to be picking up on that, think your post was pretty clear when you said you had had IVF etc!

Summerfun54321 · 07/10/2022 21:15

Tell her to get a taxi, have an early night and agree to have a proper sit down chat about expectations of each other now you’re parents. Hard to say as a one off, but if it’s something she keeps doing despite you asking her not to then that’s a totally different thing.

GloriousGlory · 07/10/2022 21:15

Sunnyqueen · 07/10/2022 21:13

Tell her to get a taxi when she's done and prepare to let her have a day In bed tomorrow. In the meantime order yourself a nice take out and get organising a night out for your self in the next weekend possible.

Honestly this is the best advice!

You're in credit!

StupidSmallFruit · 07/10/2022 21:18

The reading comprehension of some people really is appalling.

YANBU.

Taxi it absolutely is.

Aquamarine1029 · 07/10/2022 21:18

GloriousGlory · 07/10/2022 21:02

@Aquamarine1029 I'm sorry I don't understand your wrath at me, your question was "how often did she do this" I answered it's been years, it's wax s in the first post, which it was!

So why the "I don't care", then don't fucking ask!

Saying I don't care is displaying "wrath" to you? Good grief, do calm down. I said I don't care that it's been years because I don't. It's still taking the piss in my opinion.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 07/10/2022 21:24

Bloom1406 · 07/10/2022 20:47

Yes I carried baby 💙 thanks

Don't worry I got this

SavingsThreads · 07/10/2022 21:27

What's wrong with a baby in a car for an hour?!?

GloriousGlory · 07/10/2022 21:28

@Aquamarine1029 you asked a question, I answered because you'd not bothered to read the OP! Trying reading it and then comment? You just come across as ridiculous otherwise!

WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 07/10/2022 21:28

SoggyChipswithVinegar · 07/10/2022 20:42

Scoop up the baby
Go to the pub and have a good drink
Get a taxi home

Are you saying the OP should take the baby to the pub for a night on the piss with her wife who has already been there 9 hours? What the actual fuck? Confused

This place sometimes!

Also, @Bloom1406 Your wife has been in the pub NINE HOURS? Confused

Anniefrenchfry · 07/10/2022 21:29

Blimey it’s a one off, let her have fun she can get a taxi back.

LoveBluey · 07/10/2022 21:30

With a small baby I'd be ok doing this. I found at this age they didn't properly go down for the night and napped downstairs during the evening. Mine didn't really sleep through until they were older so it wouldn't have bothered me.
Now they are reliably going to sleep at bedtime (7pm ish) I won't mess up their bedtime unless there is no other option.

But it does sound like there's more going on here it's down to general unfairness in the relationship.

Anniefrenchfry · 07/10/2022 21:31

SoggyChipswithVinegar · 07/10/2022 20:42

Scoop up the baby
Go to the pub and have a good drink
Get a taxi home

The things you read on here, 🤣

ToGanymedeAndTitan · 07/10/2022 21:33

Taking a baby for a night out to the pub 🤣
As if lol

NoOnKnows · 07/10/2022 21:34

Kinneddar · 07/10/2022 20:30

This is going to be a reverse of sorts isn't it. I'd put money on the OP being the wife & it's the husband in the pub

I read it as a same sex partnership.

SoggyChipswithVinegar · 07/10/2022 21:34

WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 07/10/2022 21:28

Are you saying the OP should take the baby to the pub for a night on the piss with her wife who has already been there 9 hours? What the actual fuck? Confused

This place sometimes!

Also, @Bloom1406 Your wife has been in the pub NINE HOURS? Confused

Show quote history

Why not?
babies are very portable
The OP seems to be resentful that she isn't out for a drink as well
Easy to solve

WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 07/10/2022 21:36

SoggyChipswithVinegar · 07/10/2022 21:34

Why not?
babies are very portable
The OP seems to be resentful that she isn't out for a drink as well
Easy to solve

Show quote history

You are joking right?

MeridianB · 07/10/2022 21:36

I don’t think this is a funny situation - if it’s a regular thing and she’s out of action for half the weekend I’d question the point of the relationship. YANBU, OP.

MatronicO6 · 07/10/2022 21:39

YANBU, have a 5 month old with a 7pm bedtime, who hates the car seat and is very vocal about it.

WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 07/10/2022 21:39

Anniefrenchfry · 07/10/2022 21:31

The things you read on here, 🤣

Show quote history

I know right. Bizarre as fuck. As if ANY sensible/good parent would drag their baby halfway across the county at 9.30pm to spend the night on the fucking piss with their partner who has already been in the pub since midday. I PRAY that poster who said this is taking the piss. If not, I pray they don't have young children! Shock

qpmz · 07/10/2022 21:41

Occasional nights out letting your hair down are important. She defo needs to get a cab home though. The balance at home sounds all wrong. Your wife should be doing chores and some night wakings as well as getting up early and caring for baby some mornings (not tomorrow though!)

GloriousGlory · 07/10/2022 21:42

MeridianB · 07/10/2022 21:36

I don’t think this is a funny situation - if it’s a regular thing and she’s out of action for half the weekend I’d question the point of the relationship. YANBU, OP.

Read the OP it's not regular!

Crunchingleaf · 07/10/2022 21:44

Rule here is that I don’t mind collecting DH, but I will not take the baby out of bed to collect him. Once baby is down for night DH has to find his own way home. The same applies to me.

Devon01 · 07/10/2022 21:45

@ToGanymedeAndTitan
Sorry I wasn’t clear - we’re gay
Not sure why some posters don't seem to be picking up on that, think your post was pretty clear when you said you had had IVF etc!

Why are some people trying to turn this thread into something it's not. It has nothing to do whatsoever with the OP and wife being gay.

Congratulations that you guessed right but why bash the people who might have thought that it was a male who was looking after DC while wife was out? Just because IVF was mentioned, it didn't automatically mean it was OP was the person who gave birth. The fact that OP had not drunk or gone out for a while doesn't also automatically mean OP was the one who had given birth. OP quite plainly said neither had been out drinking this could have simply meant they were both were being healthy, saving money, being mutually supportive through the IVF process.

Nothing about this post is about sexuality - it's about relationships. So please stop being so outraged and trying to cause unnecessary conversations where they're not needed. Stick to the topic