Collecting wife from the pub

[Bloom1406]

Am I being reasonable to think it’s shitty of my wife to expect me to collect her at the very least after 8.30pm from the pub 30minutes away when we’ve a 4 month old baby I’ve looked after all day? I was originally told she’d be ready to leave around ‘tea time’ and we’d get food. Safe to say I haven’t been near a pub in years due to ivf journey and pregnancy and to be fair neither has she.

I also have two barking dogs to contend with and I’ll be livid if she’s hungover tomorrow as that means a day in bed for her.

made up the spare bed just in case I throw a wobbly 🙈

I think it’s fine for a baby to be in a car seat for an hour. No-one would bat an eyelid if it was daytime. And I don’t think 8:30 is unreasonably late. Sounds like it’s after work drinks and she’s got swept up in the moment. Easily done, especially when you don’t get out often.
The food bit is annoying, but you can get past that easily enough.
I’d be minorly irked at my evening being messed up, but I’d let it go as a one off and lab a night out for myself next week.

Sounds like new baby stress to me. In the big picture, does it really matter?

*plan a night out

Did you assume reverse rather than same sex relationship?

Several posters on this thread seem to be struggling with the concept of a same sex couple 😵‍💫

@Bloom1406 can’t your wife get a taxi?

you probably need to unpick why you’re so upset. Her having a single unusual night in the pub til 8.30 (pretty early) isn’t unreasonable
why do you think she’ll be hungover tomorrow after such an early finish?
you’re perfectly reasonable not to want to schkep with a newborn in the car but did you agree to get her when she was planning to be back for tea? Why is a couple of hours later any different?
what do the dogs have to do with anything?

I presume OP, as they've been dealing with IVF and pregnancy?

I may be wrong?

Scoop up the baby
Go to the pub and have a good drink
Get a taxi home

Haven’t read anyone else’s’ replies , deliberately.
if this is a genuine post, no, YANBU

If you're old enough to go to the pub, you're old enough to get yourself home.

Sorry I wasn’t clear - we’re gay. I carried our baby, I’m the full time carer, do all the nightfeeds, take full responsibility for the house etc. baby’s bedtime is 8pm, he’s been teething and has reflux so for me routine is important.
Still no word from her so don’t know when she expects this lift. Yes I will say about a taxi (off putting as it’s probably £40) but I just wanted another opinion on if this was unreasonable.
she’s been in the pub since 12.15pm and gets such bad hangovers if she has 3 doubles I’ll not see her until 6pm the next day. literally, it’s ridiculous.
Fair enough for your opinions. Good to see another point of view.

Yes I carried baby 💙 thanks

Your wife is taking the absolute piss. How often does she do this?

Now your update is making it sound like she’s out all the time, always drinks too much, is hungover and leaves you with the baby but in your OP you say she hadn’t been near a pub “in years” so you are being unreasonable. You are making a mountain out of a molehill, just text her and say ‘enjoy your night, baby is in bed so get a taxi home, see you later’. This is just such a non issue.

Not for years, it's in the Op!

So she's been in the pub for nearly 9 hours wth

I’d expect her to get herself home, and be a parent the next day.

If she can’t handle alcohol then she needs to drink less. Writing off a whole day isn’t an option with a tiny baby.

Congratulations on your baby ❤️

YABU OP. Sometimes one drink or two turns into a bit more. If it's a one off what's the problem with picking her up.

I don't care. It's taking the piss. Expecting your wife to take the 4 month old out to pick her up at 8:30pm is ridiculous, and getting so drunk she's hungover the next day, if this happens, is unacceptable.

I would do it as a one off, as would my DH. If it was every Friday night then definitely not

How often is she going out and then spending the next day in bed?

How often do you get to do it?

I think the odd occasion is absolutely fine but she needs to get herself back as you can’t drag a young child out just to pick her up if there’s an alternative.

I’d pick them up and my DH would do the same for me. Not an issue.

It sounds like this isn't the normal for your wife so on this occasion I'd go with it but when she's not hungover tomorrow or the day after I'd have a chat about how important the routines are to you managing things at home so if she wants a lift it needs to be by a certain time in future otherwise she needs to budget in a taxi. Then put this one in the bank and you arrange to do something lovely for yourself while she's with baby and comes to get you. You both deserve a break and to let your hair down from time to time so it's only a problem if only one of you is getting to do that.

@Aquamarine1029 I'm sorry I don't understand your wrath at me, your question was "how often did she do this" I answered it's been years, it's wax s in the first post, which it was!

So why the "I don't care", then don't fucking ask!

Same. Neither of you have been out out for a while. It's overrun. Presumably she'll do the same for you when it's your turn

She's been there all afternoon - tea time would have been more sensible.

As a one off I’d be fine with it but I do understand the annoyance of someone telling you they’ll be home by a particular time and then not being. Equally, if I was your wife then I wouldn’t mind making my own way home if it was too much of a faff for you with the baby. I wouldn’t be letting her sleep in until 6 tomorrow though, that’s ridiculous if she’s home by around 9.