So, husband away all week with work. I'm home, 3 kids and dogs, work PT
with a lifelong disease, he gets home I was sounding off explaining my feelings and frustrations. He tells me can I now turn the hairdryer off. Meaning me, my voice, droning on. I've shut up, feelings hurt. Unheard and under appreciated.
AIBU?
Dh told be to turn hairdryer off now
Mumof3lads · 07/10/2022 18:54
ISpyNoPlumPie · 07/10/2022 19:44
Oh that’s mean… that language reminds me of Goffman’s four horseman of the apocalypse- in particular contempt. He wants to be dismissive, put you down, mock you and just plain make you feel like crap. Sometimes my husband comes home from work, and I’ve had a rotten day with the kids and I just can’t help blurting it all out (it’s cathartic!) and I can tell he’s thinking “I haven’t even got my jacket off!” But he listens and he understands. It’s a choice to show someone you care - or not. Hopefully I show him the same. It’s sad your husband didn’t do this for you and it seems that’s been going on for a while from your subsequent posts. Sorry to hear that, that’s not nice…
DazedConfusedDone · 07/10/2022 19:47
He doesn't want to hear about it in case he's asked to do something to help or make adjustments to his life at all!
Hotpinkangel19 · 07/10/2022 19:48
Lorry driver by any chance?
Mumof3lads · 07/10/2022 19:02
RIPQueen don't respond if you don't appreciate my feelings. I felt it was worthy of some support.
MarshaBradyo · 07/10/2022 19:50
That is so rude. You sound hurt, understandably
What will you do?
And btw ignore pp saying don’t post, they don’t have to read it and respond
DenholmElliot1 · 07/10/2022 19:49
It depends how long you were talking for. Any more than 10 minutes of off loading when a partner gets in from work is a bit much really.
Sounds like you have bigger problems though - in fact, your relationship sounds as hard as mine was (before I got a divorce - turns out working away from home allows a man LOTS of opportunities)
PrincessButtercupToo · 07/10/2022 19:52
It was rude of him, but it’s also rude to unload on him when he’s just got home from work and is hoping to unwind.
Had he at least had time to get changed and have a cup of tea or a drink?
Mumof3lads · 07/10/2022 19:02
RIPQueen don't respond if you don't appreciate my feelings. I felt it was worthy of some support.
SummerHouse · 07/10/2022 19:53
His hair would be well and truly fecking dry by the time I finished. Really uncaring, disrespectful and minimising. I would love to know how he would get on doing what you have just done alone and with no support.
Mumof3lads · 07/10/2022 19:54
Read the thread in it's entirety before commenting..
PrincessButtercupToo · 07/10/2022 19:52
It was rude of him, but it’s also rude to unload on him when he’s just got home from work and is hoping to unwind.
Had he at least had time to get changed and have a cup of tea or a drink?
Mumof3lads · 07/10/2022 19:02
RIPQueen don't respond if you don't appreciate my feelings. I felt it was worthy of some support.
CuriousCatfish · 07/10/2022 19:54
Did you tell him to fuck off? I would have.
CuriousCatfish · 07/10/2022 19:55
You mean you didn't have his pipe and slippers ready? What kind of wife are you?
Mumof3lads · 07/10/2022 19:54
Read the thread in it's entirety before commenting..
PrincessButtercupToo · 07/10/2022 19:52
It was rude of him, but it’s also rude to unload on him when he’s just got home from work and is hoping to unwind.
Had he at least had time to get changed and have a cup of tea or a drink?
Mumof3lads · 07/10/2022 19:02
RIPQueen don't respond if you don't appreciate my feelings. I felt it was worthy of some support.
Mumof3lads · 07/10/2022 19:05
No been home 6 hours, I'm the time I'd collected the youngest, prepped and cooked tea. Loaded the washer, fed the dogs, showered etc.
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Mumof3lads · 07/10/2022 19:54
Read the thread in it's entirety before commenting..
PrincessButtercupToo · 07/10/2022 19:52
It was rude of him, but it’s also rude to unload on him when he’s just got home from work and is hoping to unwind.
Had he at least had time to get changed and have a cup of tea or a drink?
Mumof3lads · 07/10/2022 19:02
RIPQueen don't respond if you don't appreciate my feelings. I felt it was worthy of some support.
RIPQueen · 07/10/2022 18:58
Ffs what’s with all this posts about fairly trivial domestic arguments
no it’s not particularly nice. Is it worth a MN post?
there have been so many of these recently
Herejustforthisone · 07/10/2022 20:12
You and the husband would make a good pair. Both making damn sure the OP doesn’t feel heard. Go you.
RIPQueen · 07/10/2022 18:58
Ffs what’s with all this posts about fairly trivial domestic arguments
no it’s not particularly nice. Is it worth a MN post?
there have been so many of these recently
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