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AIBU?

Dh told be to turn hairdryer off now

100 replies

Mumof3lads · 07/10/2022 18:54

So, husband away all week with work. I'm home, 3 kids and dogs, work PT
with a lifelong disease, he gets home I was sounding off explaining my feelings and frustrations. He tells me can I now turn the hairdryer off. Meaning me, my voice, droning on. I've shut up, feelings hurt. Unheard and under appreciated.

OP posts:
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IncompleteSenten · 08/10/2022 08:14

Mumof3lads · 07/10/2022 19:46

Yes away 90% of the time. I really don't want too say other than I could if wanted too claim disability and never work again. It's something that can't be cured, it's life changing and affects me greatly on a day to day basis.

When you say claim disability - are you in England? Because you can claim PIP. It is not a means tested benefit. You can claim pip and work.

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Fairislefandango · 07/10/2022 22:45

I know I can’t whinge and whine to my dh when he’s just finished work. He needs a couple of hours to destress.

I believe the OP said her dh had 6 hours.

The problem with this is we only have one side of the story.

You only ever have one side of the story on any MN thread. So unless you take the OP at face value, there's pretty much no point in responding.

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Ponoka7 · 07/10/2022 21:18

Does he agree with your decision to not claim PIP and keep on working? Wouldn't it be better to spend less hours doing voluntary work and claim? Will he financially support you if you don't work? It does sound as though your marriage is over.

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TheHateIsNotGood · 07/10/2022 21:12

I really thought this was a Thread about saving energy costs! I'll bow out now with no opinion.

whispers.....Hairdryers might chew up the Kwhs......

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alwaysmovingforwards · 07/10/2022 21:08

ParentallyUnprepared · 07/10/2022 18:57

I thought this was going to be about energy costs.

Same here!
Instead it's just a rather pointless boring mundane tired couple argument that nobody except the two people involved actually cares about but opinions will strongly be given that one indeed should LTB or sorry to break it to you, but your partners grumpy because having an affair <hugs>

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PrincessButtercupToo · 07/10/2022 20:59

CuriousCatfish · 07/10/2022 20:58

Your bridge is calling.

🙄

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CuriousCatfish · 07/10/2022 20:58

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Your bridge is calling.

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Sallyh87 · 07/10/2022 20:57

PrincessButtercupToo · 07/10/2022 20:53

No, it’s nothing to do with her sex, just her attitude. I can see why her husband won’t put up with her shit.

What attitude? She came on here for a moan, hasn’t been rude to anyone.

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PrincessButtercupToo · 07/10/2022 20:56

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

CuriousCatfish · 07/10/2022 20:55

PrincessButtercupToo · 07/10/2022 20:53

No, it’s nothing to do with her sex, just her attitude. I can see why her husband won’t put up with her shit.

What attitude?

Explain yourself.

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Workinghardeveryday · 07/10/2022 20:54

So he is saying, shit up I can’t be arsed with you whinging tonight’.

my response would be hairdryer on full blast and heat, would put tongs on n let him have them as well

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PrincessButtercupToo · 07/10/2022 20:53

CuriousCatfish · 07/10/2022 20:47

Why?

Because she's the little woman? Woman know your place.

No, it’s nothing to do with her sex, just her attitude. I can see why her husband won’t put up with her shit.

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Sallyh87 · 07/10/2022 20:53

God he sounds rude @Mumof3lads ! I would suggest turning the hair dryer off entirely and don’t waste your breath talking to him for a while. Not very constructive but if you can’t leave him and he doesn’t want to listen to you, it’s really the way forward.

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Noteverybodylives · 07/10/2022 20:52

How quickly did you start venting to him?

If it was within the first couple hours of me being home then honestly I couldn’t deal with it.

Obviously there are major issues in your relationship and it seems a big one is that he works away a lot and leaves you to do everything.
This needs a discussion but not as soon as someone walks through the door.

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Worthyornot · 07/10/2022 20:48

Yanbu, that was incredibly rude and disrespectful to you. Who else are you meant to vent to if not your dh. And he was away all week so you carried the entire load as well as working. I would let him know how upset you are.

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CuriousCatfish · 07/10/2022 20:47

PrincessButtercupToo · 07/10/2022 20:40

My reading is just fine, thanks, I just can’t bring myself to sympathise fit someone with the OP’s attitude. I can see why her husband told her to shut her gob.

Why?

Because she's the little woman? Woman know your place.

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Soubriquet · 07/10/2022 20:44

I know I can’t whinge and whine to my dh when he’s just finished work. He needs a couple of hours to destress

He wouldn’t tell me to turn the hair dryer off though. He would actually say “please. I’ve just finished work. Give me time to get my shit off and a coffee”

Yours sounds a bit selfish

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PrincessButtercupToo · 07/10/2022 20:40

Herejustforthisone · 07/10/2022 20:28

Not too hot at the reading are you? Christ almighty. So many handmaidens.

My reading is just fine, thanks, I just can’t bring myself to sympathise fit someone with the OP’s attitude. I can see why her husband told her to shut her gob.

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CuriousCatfish · 07/10/2022 20:38

PrincessButtercupToo · 07/10/2022 20:09

I can see why he told you to zip it if this is how you think it’s acceptable to speak to people.

Perhaps you would be better on a surrended wife site?

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maddiemookins16mum · 07/10/2022 20:35

The problem with this is we only have one side of the story.
It could be her DP is exhausted, hates being away all week, hates his job, hates being the main breadwinner etc etc.

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Herejustforthisone · 07/10/2022 20:30

RIPQueen · 07/10/2022 20:19

Whatever - this was one of those posts anyway where there’s a huge backstory that doesn’t get brought up so it’s not clear until 2 pages in that the minor thing isn’t the issue and it’s part of something else. Why not say in the initial post?

also to the poster who said what is worthy of a post on a support forum for mothers?

this isn’t just a forum
for mothers.

I think maybe this isn’t the thread for you.

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Herejustforthisone · 07/10/2022 20:28

PrincessButtercupToo · 07/10/2022 20:09

I can see why he told you to zip it if this is how you think it’s acceptable to speak to people.

Not too hot at the reading are you? Christ almighty. So many handmaidens.

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QuitWhileAhead · 07/10/2022 20:20

Is he a high earner? How long has he been so unpleasant? Presumably your relationship was good when you got pregnant?

You sound like you really don't like him and it sounds like he probably knows that. I can see why he's going to be nasty to you when you complain about your week.

When you complained to him were you complaining AT him or just having a general moan. It sounds like you really resent him so might it have come across as you trying to punish him and make him feel bad?

It doesn't sound as though there are many positives in your relationship with him. Are you sure you have to stay with him?

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RIPQueen · 07/10/2022 20:19

Herejustforthisone · 07/10/2022 20:12

You and the husband would make a good pair. Both making damn sure the OP doesn’t feel heard. Go you.

Whatever - this was one of those posts anyway where there’s a huge backstory that doesn’t get brought up so it’s not clear until 2 pages in that the minor thing isn’t the issue and it’s part of something else. Why not say in the initial post?

also to the poster who said what is worthy of a post on a support forum for mothers?

this isn’t just a forum
for mothers.

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fatgirlslimmer · 07/10/2022 20:17

Sounds like he’s checked out of responsibility working away for so many years. That was so disrespectful of him to speak to you like that regardless of how long he’d been home. There are days my DH hasn’t even took his coat off and I’ve offloaded.

My DF used to work away for a few months at a time and our DM used to say let him enjoy a couple of days at home before we tell him what’s gone wrong, what needs fixing etc. Until the day he came home and said right I want to know it all because I usually spend my first couple of days at home worrying about what I’m going to hear on the 3rd day. 😅

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