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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let my 11yo sit in the front seat on a long motorway journey?

135 replies

Amarette · 07/10/2022 13:17

I have to take my DD on a long motorway journey this weekend. I have a one-year old car with excellent safety ratings for the passenger seat, with air bags etc. In fact, the safety ratings look like its safer to be in the front than the back, although they only seem to have tested child's car seats in the back so it's hard to compare.

Anyway, my friend said that she would never let her DC travel in the front seat on the motorway as its always safer for them to be in the back. Starting to question myself now as would never forgive myself if something happened to her and I had made a decision that contributed to it.

Curious what other people think? She is tall for an 11yo and an athlete so not a delicate child!

OP posts:
HeckyPeck · 07/10/2022 14:41

Wheretheskyisblue · 07/10/2022 14:32

The warning label on the airbags says they are dangerous for children under 12, this is about their abilty and strenght to brace themselves in a crash.

This.

It's not about height, it's about the fact that they haven't finished growing yet & their bones and muscles aren't as strong as an adult's.

PinkPlantCase · 07/10/2022 14:42

What kind of car have you got?

Ive seen a number of hatchbacks with tiny boots with the whole rear end of the car including the back seats completely smashed in from
crashes on the motorway. One particular one really shuck me up and now I own an estate car.

Atleast the front tends to have a longer crumple zone.

paintitallover · 07/10/2022 14:51

It's illegal so YABU

dementedpixie · 07/10/2022 14:51

paintitallover · 07/10/2022 14:51

It's illegal so YABU

No it isnt

Rosehugger · 07/10/2022 14:55

I wouldn't have even considered it an issue aged 11, as long as they weren't particularly short.

Hoppinggreen · 07/10/2022 14:56

paintitallover · 07/10/2022 14:51

It's illegal so YABU

It’s really not

DogsDryWineAndCheese · 07/10/2022 15:00

QueenCamilla · 07/10/2022 13:50

I've only found out this to be a problem today, on Mumsnet. There are lots of Mumsnet Problems in existence.

This with bells on it!

I’ve also never come across such a proportion of people that collectively believe something to be illegal which clearly isn’t before!

Original poster
Amarette · 07/10/2022 15:02

As I said she's an athlete so muscular and strong. Probably stronger than a lot of adult women.

Car is a Toyota ChR Hybrid. I looked up the safety stays and unless I'm reading it wrong the front seats are safer than the back.

OP posts:
DisappearingGirl · 07/10/2022 15:03

Can I ask about airbags?

We had a switch fitted to turn ours off when they were younger. However I now leave it on when my 11 year old is in the front. It's only a small car so I think her face would hit the dashboard in a crash. So I assume she's better off hitting the airbag, even with the associated risks.

Am I wrong and I should still turn it off?

What about for a tall 9 year old? (only occasionally travels in front)

Struggling to find good advice on this!

TheOrigRights · 07/10/2022 15:17

Clymene · 07/10/2022 13:38

I never let my children travel in the front on motorway journeys. Seems mad insisting they're in a rear facing seat when they're babies and safety goes out the window when they're older.

Surely getting in the car at all is mad then, unless every single trip you are doing is essential.

TheOrigRights · 07/10/2022 15:21

DotDotaDash · 07/10/2022 13:33

😂

I have offered my tall as me 12 year old to sit in the front but he is worried that he’d end up involved in having to chat and look at the world out the windows and far prefers to play games on his phone in the back 🙁

So if she wanted to and was tall enough then I would let her. Any statistical safety difference is surely marginal and not a prediction for your specific journey circumstances.

Show quote history
Grin Same! My 13 yo now often chooses to sit in the back so he can use his AirPods and not engage with me. Suits me - I can listen to The Top 100 Power Ballads Ever the radio.
FrodisCapering · 07/10/2022 15:45

@ReRedToothBrush what a strange response to my question.
I did put a question mark at the end, you know, to indicate I wasn't sure.

Anyway OP, my nearly four year old is still rear-facing. I err on the side of caution so I would probably get them to sit in the back

fleurdelee · 07/10/2022 15:46

FrodisCapering · 07/10/2022 13:20

I thought it was illegal until they turn 12?

Is it?
I didn't know this

dementedpixie · 07/10/2022 15:47

fleurdelee · 07/10/2022 15:46

Is it?
I didn't know this

Show quote history

No its not illegal for an under 12 to sit in the front seat

BringOnAutumn · 07/10/2022 16:23

What is the actual safe height for an airbag, though? I don’t think I've seen an answer for this. The other height examples don’t seem to say when the airbag is safe for.

Clymene · 07/10/2022 16:29

@TheOrigRights - what an odd response. Pretty much everyone puts their babies and young children in rear facing car seats nowadays because they're safer. When my teens were young, they were a rarity.

I prefer my children to be as safe as possible, no matter what their age.

Magenta82 · 07/10/2022 16:29

BringOnAutumn · 07/10/2022 16:23

What is the actual safe height for an airbag, though? I don’t think I've seen an answer for this. The other height examples don’t seem to say when the airbag is safe for.

From what I understand it is several inches taller than me! They were designed for an average man and so, along with seat belts and the seats themselves, are often a danger to women, especially short ones.

Clymene · 07/10/2022 16:31

Amarette · 07/10/2022 15:02

As I said she's an athlete so muscular and strong. Probably stronger than a lot of adult women.

Car is a Toyota ChR Hybrid. I looked up the safety stays and unless I'm reading it wrong the front seats are safer than the back.

The centre of the back seat is the safest place to sit in any car.

TokyoSushi · 07/10/2022 16:32

Gosh, it wouldn't even occur to me to have similar age DS in the back if it was just to two of us!

TheOrigRights · 07/10/2022 16:37

Clymene · 07/10/2022 16:29

@TheOrigRights - what an odd response. Pretty much everyone puts their babies and young children in rear facing car seats nowadays because they're safer. When my teens were young, they were a rarity.

I prefer my children to be as safe as possible, no matter what their age.

Well, yes I was being slightly facetious, but my point is that you risk injury just getting in the car in the first place. You're implying that people who put their 11 year in the front have lost sight of their safety ("safety goes out the window when they're older").

ShoeTheDoor · 07/10/2022 16:40

"According to The Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents (RoSPA), ‘If the middle rear seat has a three-point (lap and diagonal) seat belt, this is the safest place to put a child restraint (unless the manufacturer’s instructions say it fits better in one of the other seats) because it is the furthest away from the sides of the car."

I think I overthink things anyway as I watch a lot of car dash cam videos on YouTube. The motorway ones are terrifying.

ShoeTheDoor · 07/10/2022 16:43

Also I know you are saying she is an athlete so strong etc but have you watched a body get flung around a car in the ENCAP crash tests? Not even adults could brace for it.

I believe this is your car www.euroncap.com/en/results/toyota/c-hr/26309 click the video tab half way down the page. I have recently bought a new car hence all the ENCAP watching.

CoveredInCobwebs · 07/10/2022 16:52

I’m also interested in the answer to the airbag question. My 8yo quite often goes in the front but I haven’t been turning off the airbag, now wondering if I should?

TattiePants · 07/10/2022 17:17

My DD was 5ft 6 when she turned 11 and taller than many adults. Of course it’s ok.

bloodywhitecat · 07/10/2022 17:19

FrodisCapering · 07/10/2022 13:20

I thought it was illegal until they turn 12?

If it was there wouldn't be cars with front seat isofix, my SEAT can have an isofix seat on the front passenger seat.

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