Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let my 11yo sit in the front seat on a long motorway journey?

135 replies

Amarette · 07/10/2022 13:17

I have to take my DD on a long motorway journey this weekend. I have a one-year old car with excellent safety ratings for the passenger seat, with air bags etc. In fact, the safety ratings look like its safer to be in the front than the back, although they only seem to have tested child's car seats in the back so it's hard to compare.

Anyway, my friend said that she would never let her DC travel in the front seat on the motorway as its always safer for them to be in the back. Starting to question myself now as would never forgive myself if something happened to her and I had made a decision that contributed to it.

Curious what other people think? She is tall for an 11yo and an athlete so not a delicate child!

OP posts:
anniewaitsevenlonger · 07/10/2022 13:34

I'm not what I consider obsessive/super strict about car seat safety as my eldest is of the age where we swapped to front facing at 9 months... but now a tall 10 (150cm) and I still say in the back if leaving town and on faster roads/motorways. The only time we've broken this rule is if we are all in the car and younger sibling with SEN is kicking off so I need to sit in back to control them and keep everyone safe. I just don't see the need to have them in the front otherwise when back is safer.

anniewaitsevenlonger · 07/10/2022 13:35

So they sit in the front for any short trips to school or clubs within town at low speeds on small roads. Not a motorway unless no other option.

BonjourCrisette · 07/10/2022 13:35

YABVU. Air bags are not safe for children and nor is travelling at speed without one. This is to do with weight not only height.

Clymene · 07/10/2022 13:38

I never let my children travel in the front on motorway journeys. Seems mad insisting they're in a rear facing seat when they're babies and safety goes out the window when they're older.

girlmom21 · 07/10/2022 13:39

I think it's fine.

Liorae · 07/10/2022 13:39

It is only safe to put a child in the front seat if you are playing school taxi for a CF neighbor 😉

ThatsNotMyMuffin · 07/10/2022 13:40

Grandeur · 07/10/2022 13:21

4 year olds in the front seat? HmmConfused

Perfectly fine provided they are in an appropriate car seat and air bags are turned off. You might be surprised that it's actual quite common in other countries.

TheSheerCheekOfSomePeople · 07/10/2022 13:42

Isn't the actual rule that they have to be of a certain height, or have turned 12, whichever comes first? Although from a safety point of view if they aren't tall enough yet and are 12 you need to switch the airbag off so it doesn't go off in their face. Which means it isn't as safe in the front then. And put the seat back as far as you can if they are on the borderline of being tall enough.

I used to sit in the front because I used to read the map 😁This was in the days before airbags though.

So my answer is that if they are definitely tall enough yes, with the airbag on, if you want to. Although they would still be safer in the back. Otherwise no. And give her a map as it's a useful skill.

Forgetaboutme · 07/10/2022 13:45

I wouldn't think twice. My 9 year old son has been in the front seat since he was tall enough not to use a booster.

PuttingDownRoots · 07/10/2022 13:47

My 9yo sits in the front due to car sickness.

QueenCamilla · 07/10/2022 13:50

I've only found out this to be a problem today, on Mumsnet. There are lots of Mumsnet Problems in existence.

APurpleSquirrel · 07/10/2022 13:53

My DD (8) is now 135cm tall so can legally go in the front without a car seat/booster. We only do this when necessary (when there are no free seats in the back, or very short trips round town) & turn the airbag off.

SummerInSun · 07/10/2022 14:04

My 9 year old is 145cm tall and sits in the front of there isn't a second adult in the car. Which is entirely legal. Makes him much less prone to car sickness, plus we get to have a nice chat and things he is worried about, etc, often come up when you are sitting side by side like that which don't come up when you sit across a table from each other. Very good for mental health.

Would he be safer if I didn't let him sit there? I rather doubt it. But he'd definitely be safer if I never let him ride a bike, climb a tree, swim in the ocean, play rugby, etc, etc. Life is to be live and risks need to be assessed and balanced.

He safer there in a modern car than any of us were in the cars we drove in as children.

Clymene · 07/10/2022 14:07

QueenCamilla · 07/10/2022 13:50

I've only found out this to be a problem today, on Mumsnet. There are lots of Mumsnet Problems in existence.

Really? You didn't know that it's much safer in the back and that airbags can snap children's necks?

BertieBotts · 07/10/2022 14:11

Don't turn the airbag off if the child is of adult height! The only reason you would turn it off would be if they are at a height that it would go off in their face rather than chest, or if you're using a rear facing car seat.

The front of modern cars may actually be safer than the back as all the protective features are about strengthening that passenger compartment in the front.

Motorway driving is also very safe. Don't let a tiny risk outweigh the benefit of companionship and conversation which can be so rare as they go into their teens.

BertieBotts · 07/10/2022 14:15

Beware, if you're looking online for facts to justify yourself that American airbags are different to European ones, they are larger as they are designed to work even if the person isn't wearing a seatbelt. EU ones assume you are wearing a seatbelt and work with it.

Original poster
Amarette · 07/10/2022 14:16

A bit of a mixed bag of responses but the votes suggest IANBU. I don't know her exact height but it's definitely above 150cm.

If airbags are so dangerous at that height then surely a lot of shorter women are being put at risk? I suppose another one or the ways that things are designed for men's needs and not women's.

She is much happier in the front and loves to chat. And maybe that will be safer as it will keep me awake and alert!

I will put her seat back as far as possible. That seems like a good compromise.

OP posts:
Clymene · 07/10/2022 14:25

Amarette · 07/10/2022 14:16

A bit of a mixed bag of responses but the votes suggest IANBU. I don't know her exact height but it's definitely above 150cm.

If airbags are so dangerous at that height then surely a lot of shorter women are being put at risk? I suppose another one or the ways that things are designed for men's needs and not women's.

She is much happier in the front and loves to chat. And maybe that will be safer as it will keep me awake and alert!

I will put her seat back as far as possible. That seems like a good compromise.

It's not just about height, it's about the relative size of their heads to their bodies compared to adults.

Personally I've managed to have conversations with people sitting in the back seat for years. Most people can. We wouldn't have annoyingly chatty cabbies if it was somehow impossible!

BertieBotts · 07/10/2022 14:27

Sorry just to throw another spanner in the works - if she's over 150cm there's no point in putting her seat back as she will be correctly positioned for the airbag anyway AND you may introduce a risk in doing this by making the seatbelt too far forward so that it doesn't correctly engage with her hips. Just use the seat normally as you would for an adult.

Invisible Women does address this issue of women shorter than 150cm being poorly served by seatbelts and airbags.

Frida9 · 07/10/2022 14:27

My sister had terrible car sickness as a child and had to sit in the front on any journey. This was before car seats were compulsory for anyone but babies and toddlers and it never did any harm. Cars weren't as safe 20 years ago either.

BertieBotts · 07/10/2022 14:30

You know she is 11 years old, not 11 months old? A preteen's head is not large and wobbly like a toddler's. It's basically the same proportion as a smaller adult.

Wheretheskyisblue · 07/10/2022 14:32

The warning label on the airbags says they are dangerous for children under 12, this is about their abilty and strenght to brace themselves in a crash.

To let my 11yo sit in the front seat on a long motorway journey?
ThisShitsBananas · 07/10/2022 14:38

My 8 year old has been in the front with me since birth. She projectile vomits otherwise.

toomuchlaundry · 07/10/2022 14:41

I think some countries do restrict by age who can sit in the passenger front seat

Reallyreallyborednow · 07/10/2022 14:41

as long as you turn off the air bags. they are dangerous for children still growing

it’s nothing to do with whether they are still growing, but about weight and height. The airbags inflate with some force, and if a child’s head is level with it it can cause serious injury, especially if they aren’t heavy enough and get thrown forward faster than an adult.

as for o/p’s question- mine are teens and prefer to sit in the back for long journeys. It’s comfier apparently and they can spread out a bit.
I prefer it too as statistically the safest seat is the back middle, followed by the back drivers. I’d encourage up until 12-14 I think, after that they can make their own decision as they’ll probably be nearer adult height and weight.