Colleagues and bosses daily texts on maternity leave

[Rxr2915]

aibu? I am on maternity leave and overdue and throughout my whole time leading up to my boss has been utterly horrible to me and as I wfh a load of rumours I made the pregnancy up. Which is clearly untrue and she also made some very unpleasant comments about hoping for a miscarriage (I am the main earner so had to stay there for financial security)

I am now being asked every single day by my boss and 2 colleagues whether the baby has come or not. Obviously my boss has my mat b1 form so I don’t see why she is asking me every day what the due date is and if I’ve had her yet?

Aibu to feel a bit attacked and annoyed about being asked this daily

[Whatacarryonthisis]

Speak to pregnant then screwed definitely


if you don’t return after maternity will you be made to pay it back?

id respond to the next post stating you will not be replying to any further messages whilst on maternity leave and they can email you (set up a separate email) if they have any questions and you will respond when you can. Confirm with pregnant then screwed to confirm what you do need to update them around and do only this

Document everything

[Rxr2915]

@Raidcandle

Is this the same company where management and HR said someone can only have 8 weeks maternity.

No don’t think so but she tried to make me promise I would be back within 2 weeks of birth as “it’s not fair on me as your employer I need you billing”
fuck wit

[Rxr2915]

@Whatacarryonthisis

Speak to pregnant then screwed definitely


if you don’t return after maternity will you be made to pay it back?

id respond to the next post stating you will not be replying to any further messages whilst on maternity leave and they can email you (set up a separate email) if they have any questions and you will respond when you can. Confirm with pregnant then screwed to confirm what you do need to update them around and do only this

Document everything

No won’t have to pay it back I only get the minimum 6 weeks then state mat pay

[Dogtooth]

In your shoes I'd be polite, say 'I'll tell you when I've had it' then not look at further messages from them. Tell them when baby born. Enjoy mat leave. Line up another job so you don't have to go back. If you do go back, be polite and get another job asap.

I think they're breaking the law (and probably could be sued for constructive dismissal or harassment) but in practical terms your best option is to keep it sweet and find someone better to work for.

[focuspocus]

Take the previous advice about getting proper advice and ignore any advice to delete. Mute but don't delete. It's evidence.

[bishbashboosh1]

you’re not planning on going back i hope. how awful

[skyeisthelimit]

OP, get advice from ACAS and keep a record of everything.

Just block and ignore the messages for now, it is very wrong for them to be harassing a pregnant woman.

They cannot make you return after 2 weeks, you will get paid SMP up to 39 weeks.

If they stop paying the SMP then you can report them to HMRC.

[whynotwhatknot]

they hired you as you had a female partner and woldnt have children? ffs she sounds horrendous get some legal advice and dont answer their text but keep them

[reigatecastle]

@Etinoxaurus

The Union comment is useful. It’s not as if union membership is unusual or randomly allocated. With very few exceptions everyone can and should join a Union.

Totally agree with this. If you are reading this and you are not a member of a union, go and join one today!

[WireSkills]

Ignore, enjoy your mat leave and then around 8 weeks before your return to work date start looking for a new job. It's a candidate market out there at the moment.

Then wait until the very last moment's notice to put your notice in.

If you need a reference from anyone, make sure that you tell your prospective employers about your current one so they know to either not approach them at all, or take what they say with a pinch of salt. If you have other people you can provide as referees, that would be better.

Sympathies though OP - they sound awful and I would be doing everything in my power to not have to return there!

[Rainraindontgoaway]

@Rxr2915

I’m in the private sector in a micro company- unions generally won’t touch me unfortunately I looked into this before joining them- maybe I should have taken the hint!

You can still join a union. Should there be any any disciplinary stuff or grievance meetings you have the legal right for them to accompany you. It is under the ERA.

[Libre55]

Do you have legal cover with your house insurance, or your bank/credit card? Could they advise?

[tenbob]

@Rainraindontgoaway

You can still join a union. Should there be any any disciplinary stuff or grievance meetings you have the legal right for them to accompany you. It is under the ERA.

or for the same cost as annual union subs, you could pay for an experienced actual employment solicitor to accompany you

The answer to every workplace issue is not 'join a union'
There are plenty of situations where it would be a totally pointless waste of money, and this is clearly one of them

[Thelnebriati]

Talk to ACAS today;
www.acas.org.uk/contact

[BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz]

Oh so no hr. In that case, I'd message once to the boss

"Thank you for taking such an enthusiastic interest in the baby and me but the daily messages are getting too much - between you and family the phone won't stop buzzing. Rest assured I will message once the baby is safely here and we are settled back home. Until then, please take my silence as the baby has not arrived yet. Also, once I've let you know, I'd appreciate it if you could respect my maternity leave by keeping all contact to a necessary minimum"

[Cantthinkofanewnameatm]

Keep all the evidence, every text, any emails. Contact ACAS. I’ve found them very helpful in the past.

[Wherewassteve]

@cultkid Yes sounds the same! Same type of character anyway, I was so glad when she left! 😂

[TheHoover]

Wow. Disgusting OP, I am so sorry.
It is harassment. You have a very good claim if needs be so keep records. But the first thing is to make a complaint in writing and ask for it to stop immediately.
If she doesn’t desist then it is victimisation on top of this.

[Mrsmch123]

Block her number. If they need you for work related stuff they can send you a letter

[Dave20]

I’d look for another job either during or after maternity leave. I’d also try and force your boss out aswell. Make complaints, join a union ask the union to notify their legal teams. Most trade unions have solicitors affiliated. Anyone can join a union, even if they are not recognised in the workplace.

How you could even work with this ‘boss’ again is beyond me.

Before you go back maybe leave under constructive dismissal? Your boss has broken the equality law 2010- your pregnant and a protected characteristic.

[DaughterofDawn]

That is horrible! Are you okay? How is your mental health. I hope you have supportive family or friends to get you through this. I'm so sorry OP.

[Mary46]

Op this is awful. I would make it clear you are on leave now. Im not available. Im sure there is some maternity laws too around this. Hope u okay

[Aggypanthus]

I can't quite put my finger on why this reads like a load of bunkum

[sussexman]

"a bit attacked and annoyed" - I'd be flipping furious. She's breaking all sorts of employment laws here, pregnancy, and sexual orientation are both protected characteristics and she's clearly discriminating on the basis of both of them. As others have said go talk to ACAS.

All the very best with your new family.

[EstellaRijnveld]

Take some advice from a solicitor and ignore HR for now, I'd find out a way to get her sacked for homophobia legally. Unfortunately, I don't think you'd get anywhere with the maternity leave harassment. However, but you could make the homophobic comments stick.