To ask if teachers get offended by extra tutoring

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My 14 year old DS is struggling a bit at secondary in English so we got him a tutor to get a bit of extra help on the premise that a bit of extra 1-1 support might give him a boost both in terms of skills and confidence.

I mentioned this at the parents eve to the teacher & they made it clear they were offended. I’d kind of asked about what we should focus on in the 1-1s- DS is a bit borderline grades wise & definitely needs a bit of help.

Genuinely didn’t mean to offend the teacher- in a big class, the kids just don’t get the 1-1 support they need & I really want DS to pass GSCE with a C grade.

is it a massive faux pas?

I know loads of teachers that are supportive of tutoring if they can see it’s helped at school and the extra teaching is relevant to the stage of the curriculum the children are on.

Not offended at all but a teach I know is frustrated by the “ my math tutor says that I have to do xxxx this way “ and they demonstrate an outdated method and get it wrong 🤣😱
that’s really frustrating ( primary age ) to have to un teach and re teach and argue with parents as well

My daughter’s maths teacher at college is really offended by us finding a tutor.

My daughter has some disabilities as well as dyslexia and Dyscalculia and really struggles with processing and working memory.

She has failed her maths GCSE twice now (once at school and once at college) so we have a tutor once a week who consolidates everything that DD has done in her maths lessons that week.

The maths teacher at college was annoyed, and point blank refuses to let DD bring home any worksheets, her maths book or anything she’s done in class so the tutor can go over what she’s done.

Would imagine it helps them? An engaged pupil with better understanding.

I only get irritated when the student either neglects my homework because they're too busy with the tutor, or gets the tutor to do the homework!

Not at all - it’s nice to see parents and students taking the initiative rather than expecting teachers to do unpaid “boosters”, “interventions” and “support sessions” on their evenings and lunch breaks.

I'd be worried about a teacher who was so insecure as to be worried about a student receiving extra tutoring. Tutoring is incredibly common, and most teachers understand that and appreciate the value it can offer to the student. Obviously if the tutor is undermining the teacher's set work, or contradicting their teaching they have a right to be annoyed, but not by the concept of a student requiring a bit of additional input.

Tutor here /former teacher
I've had it both ways I've had teachers who were put out by the student having a tutor and I've had teachers who were happy that the student has a tutor
When I taught in school I would not have been offended in the slightest

Surely in the current climate with funding for state education so low and teachers so stretched it must be a help for teachers?

Most teachers will be absolutely fine about it and happy that your child will be getting a boost. As HipTightOnions says, the exception is where it affects what they do at school - you occasionally get a kid who thinks that now they've got a tutor they don't need to make any effort at school, or who delights in "but my tutor says...". The tutor should definitely stay away from homework - they should work on the things not currently being worked on in school, for maximum effect.

I remember the first year that I discovered a few kids I taught were being tutored - I was worried that this was a comment on my teaching, but then I realised that both my year 9 and year 10 groups were pupils who were likely to be C/D borderline, and it was just that their parents were supportive and wanted to make sure that they got the Cs.

DD had a young teacher for the subject we got her tutor for, and we did say that it was no reflection on her teaching; DD lacked confidence, and the one-to-one was mainly helpful for that reason (although to be honest, we made sure to use an experienced tutor, and she did have strategies which worked better for DD).

I’m usually really impressed if families get a tutor in and will give the student some ideas on what to be working on.

I have however had a situation where a GCSE student was being tutored by an alevel student who was adamant the child should be doing higher tier, he was barely scraping a 2, and the parents and student kept insisting he wasn’t being taught the right material to be successful. 🙄

I wouldn't imagine many would be offended but it they are then tough tits. Your child's education is more important than offending someone else.

Tbf my first pupil years ago was a gcse student while I was doing A level. She was getting a 3 at the start of year 11, because she'd been taught French so badly at school that she couldn't string a sentence together. On my suggestion parents got her into higher tier, and she ended up with a 7. Wasn't rocket science to work out it was the teaching that was the problem in that case, kid was getting 9s in every other subject. And improved massively once she was actually taught some grammar, instead of just "you're bad at languages so just memorize this very basic sentence". I may only have been an A level student but even I could see she was being limited by the school!

I used to work as an English tutor. The mother of the first tutee I ever had asked her son's English teacher if she thought a tutor would be a good idea. The teacher's response (I shit you not!!) was: 'I don't think English is really something that can be taught.'

Needless to say, that spurred the mum on much more than anything else to contact me! The lad was dyslexic and I don't think the teacher could be bothered to adapt her teaching to suit his needs. I was able to get him through two sets of exams getting better than predicted for both.

Not in the least bit offended. A tutor usually works 1-to-1 for an hour per week. I'd love to have that much time for the children I teach, but it's just not possible. So I'm glad when students who struggle or lack confidence can get a bit of a boost from another professional. When asked, I've always been able to suggest particular topics or skills for the student to practice with the tutor.

I've been both the teacher and the tutor, so see it from both sides. When I was a teacher and a parent told me they were using a tutor, my general opinion was "you do you bo". They're entitled to spend their money on what they want, but don't expect me to get involved in any of it.

As the private tutor, I don't expect the class teacher to have anything to do with the tutoring.

Not offended but I was always a bit surprised that parents didn’t think to ask my opinion about it. Sometimes it was great. Other times they were clearly wasting their money.

No I love it! We have such little time to revisit topics
Wecalm want the same. The best results possible. BUT make sure the tutor understands the actual course that your child is following

It's interesting that some teachers want to be asked for their opinion and some clearly don't (for example the pp just before your post).

What's the differentiating factor between worthwhile and a waste of money? Student engagement? Or is it something else?

Or do you just mean that some tutors are useless?

Would the teacher not benefit if the tutor helps the student acheive better grades than they would have without...ie 'added value' or whatever the terminology is...I know there used to be a financial award for this in teaching, not sure if there still is.

It boosts their results, so they shouldn't be.

Former (English) teacher here.

I was never offended in the slightest by finding out a pupil was having extra English tuition; however, problems can occur if the tutor is not suitably experienced.

Some tutoring agencies like to push Oxbridge undergraduates as making great tutors. The problem here is it takes more than subject knowledge to get a truculent Year 10, who is a borderline 4, to engage. You have to spoon-feed and ‘dumb it down’.

Second, many private tutors don’t understand how much method and exam technique is key to passing an English exam - especially the language GCSE. It’s box-ticking, using the right phrasing, paragraphing to signpost bullet-points covered (to aid the time-poor examiner at their kitchen table at midnight…)… it’s horrible to teach and soul- destroying, but necessary. Some tutors undermine what is being taught in the classroom if they are not up-to-date with the latest exam syllabus requirements in terms of exam technique.

If you get your child a tutor, try and aim for one who is teaching currently. A youngish RQT with current classroom knowledge.

I don't think it's a faux pas at all. You got your ds a tutor so he could get 1:1 help and improve his grade. Reasonable and logical. Your ds will be able to tell the tutor what topic they are on and the tutor can work on that with him. Don't bother talking to the school anymore, they clearly don't give a stuff about what grade your ds gets.

Thanks all- I did ask the teacher what they thought we should focus on so that we were supporting their work in class too- we aren’t going off piste! But teacher didn’t want to say so 🤷🏻‍♀️