To feel this gutted about DH and my book

[Mrsaspiringauthor]

I probably am. Just surprised by how hurt I feel.

I’m one of those people who has wanted to write a book for years but lacked the confidence. I loved writing as a child but had a bad experience when toxic mother (now NC) found some of my writing and was so sneery about it I didn’t write again.

I had an idea for a novel years ago and earlier this year found the confidence to start writing it. At first I felt really uncomfortable about it and just imagined my mum looking over my shoulder and sneering at it. But I kept going and after a few weeks and 10,000 words found that I was really enjoying it. I’m now 155000 words into a novel that will hopefully be 450k words (big sweeping saga) and have absolutely fallen in love with writing again, I get so much enjoyment from bot the writing and the research as well as plotting, developing characters etc. It’s so hard to judge your own writing but I think what I’ve written so far is ok.

Have talked to DH about the book as I write it and he’s been reasonably interested. He actually has more of a background in writing than I do in terms of what he studied at Uni and parts of his job. I haven’t told anyone else I’m writing and asked him if he’d read what I’ve written so far. It felt like a big deal to share my writing with someone else and I told him to only read it when he has time.

Anyway he was away for a few days with lots of free time (ended up being much more than expected) and he said he’d read it then.

He got back yesterday and I guess I was hoping he’d bring it up and tell me what he thought. Eventually I asked him if he’d read it and he said, oh yeah meant to say, yeah I really liked it. He’d read only about 40 pages (he is a fast reader so not much for him) and didn’t seem to have much else to say about it. I asked him what he thought of a few aspects of it and he was very positive but didn’t seem to have put much thought into it.

I guess I’m just thinking about how it would have been if the roles were reversed, I’d have made the time to read it all and would have had lots to say even if I thought it was crap. At the very least I’d have said well done for picking up your own again and writing 1/3 of a book.

He has always made me feel as if he always has something more important than me going on so I guess it’s just a sore point. There’s always work to be done (he’s very invested in his job), a cup of tea to make it a pot to watch or a task that needs finished. Even on our wedding day I felt I hardly saw him as he was ‘just going to speak to X Y or Z - a couple of people joked on the day that I’d lost my husband as he was always off with someone else.

No snark please as I just feel really sad, I guess I just wanted a bit more encouragement.

How much would have been an acceptable amount? 155,000 words is about double the length of an average novel, and you say you want to make it 3 times that amount again!

publishers can be very wary of first time authors

This is not true. Publishers are always on the lookout for the next new bright young thing. Getting published as a first timer is extremely hard, but staying published if you don't hit it out the park with your first book/series is much MUCH harder. (I speak from bitter experience!).

Thanks everyone. Just had a really great chat with DH and he's more awake now and has given me some really good advice about the book being too long. I think I was just feeling a bit sad and sensitive last night. He had lots of excellent points, though he also hadn't realised it was too long! And some fantastic suggestions about how to take it forward.

I promise it does have a plot, each character has their own individual plot in their time and place that links into the next one. So it's definitely not a meandering word salad.

I'm going to take some time to think about the best way forward but it sounds as editing it way down, or cutting it into individual books is the best plan. And join a writer's group. Am so glad I posted now as I have had some great advice. Thank you!

I don’t think you sound needy. It’s totally reasonable to expect your partner to be biggest cheerleader and yours is all ‘meh’ over something that meant a lot to you and has form for not putting you first.

Write your book. So what if it’s not a best seller, how many people have written a book?! I built a house and people didn’t belittle that achievement because it wasn’t Buckingham palace.

Yes but not enormous sweeping sagas

Hi OP putting your book to one side I can sense real loneliness in your post and the need to be ‘seen’ as a person which is not ‘neediness’. I think other PPs advice of a writing group is a great place to start but there will be aspects of your marriage perhaps that you need to both work on so you don’t feel this way. You should feel he is your ally.

This

op - do you have a job?

I love the idea of your book op. I have no experience in publishing but I love to read so if you ever need another reader I would be happy to give it a read!

DH wrote three books in a genre that I absolutely loathed and kept asking me to read them. I didn’t. I doubt it’s anything personal, he just might not like the genre. Over 20k people bought DH’s books and he’s about to republish them after a slight tweak and also making them hardback. My sister also loved them as they’re her genre. Don’t take offence, just because one person doesn’t like your book, there will be plenty of others who will like it.

Are you on Instagram? I started beta reading for new authors on there and now have about 5 or 6 who send me their works as they write them. We look for plot holes, story flow etc.

You could make a new profile so it’s anonymous if you wanted it to be and I’d be more than happy to share a post looking for beta readers. It’s free and a good way to get independent thoughts from different people.

If you’re going down the self publishing route, the novel length is probably ok. Once it’s finished, you can get an ARC team (advanced reader copy) where you send the book for free to a select number of reviewers in turn for a review on Amazon. There are also book tours which I take part in. So a company on Instagram (i have a list of ones I am signed up to) will organise a ‘tour’ - they offer the book to a number of readers and each day there will be an Instagram post with a review, a Goodreads review and an Amazon review posted. Good way to spread the word.
I started reading for a new author 2 years ago on there and in a week she’s releasing her 11th book.

I did only last week see a post on Twitter from a publisher saying a debut novel should only be 150k words. This is because of the cost of advertising, printing etc and so they only tend to back the longer books for more established authors where they’re confident of getting the money back. The post said even if the book was amazing, seeing such a high word count would probably lead them to a decline led manuscript so just something to consider if you want a publishing house to do it for you.

Happy to help with any of the Instagram / Twitter stuff.

I think it's useful to remember that just because words are free, it doesn't mean you can successfully use as many as you like.
It does mean that you can choose the best, however.
Also, if you are writing to share with other people, useful to compare with other creative arts. Musicians can't write music that goes on for hours. Artists can't paint enormous pieces.
You shouldn't be testing the stamina of your audience. You should be holding their desire to know what happens next.
It's a collaboration between author and reader that makes a story.

My initial idea was that it would be three volumes of 450k each.

I'm not in publishing but I can imagine most agents/editors laughing you out of the door with such a declaration. "That's not writing, that's typing" as Truman Capote would say.

It's fine to have ambitions for a triology but at least make each volume average length. You're a debut novelist, ease people into it.

Thanks ship and MrsT, I will dm you!

ps I do have a job, been writing around it!

Hey OP, NC’d I am also a writer. I wrote non-fiction and I am fairly successful.

My DH doesn’t read my work, my family do occasionally if I pester them. It frustrates me because sometimes I want someone who will be honest with their criticism, I need it, not people who just tell me how much they like it.

I get where you are coming from, you want to discuss your work and see where you can improve. If you can afford it, I would recommend getting a good editor. They will be honest with you and help you improve your work.

The Bone Season was published in 2013 when YA was booming. The market is tougher now, especially for YA but in general. Series are also tougher, so if the book has any chance to to be traditionally published it would need to be standalone with series potential as you say. And under a quarter of length!

publishers can be very wary of first time authors
This is not true. Publishers are always on the lookout for the next new bright young thing.

Being on the lookout doesn't stop them being wary, does it? Just think about the proportion of texts sent in versus the proportion actually published.

Getting published as a first timer is extremely hard

Well yes, that's what I'm saying. And of course it will subsequently be even harder if that first try wasn't as successful as the author and publisher hoped. Also note I said 'can be' not 'always are'.

can i just say that as a reader my heart sinks if i see a book that looks promising, i flip it over and it says "part 1 of the new billion part series". I have complained a lot recently that everything has to be a bloody trilogy.

Where are the good, well written, well plotted standalone books? Where are they? (aware I'm grumpy having been burned by a series that sounds good on paper but had me tearing my eyes out after a couple of chapters of - IMO - badly written drivel)

Am aware of my slight hypocricy here in that I'm excited to hear that Gaimon is writing a follow-up to Neverwhere.

I'd love to read the first chapter. I'll know by the end whether it's got me or not.

It took me 3 attempts at Wolf Hall before i got into Mantells style, have now devoured all 3 several times, so I will have more than one crack at yours if I'm not hooked the first go.

Happy to help 😀

I suspect you’ve read “on writing” by stephen king? If not, I do recommend it!

Interestingly Kind is a big advocate of getting your spouse to critique your work. But it sounds like he lucked out with a wife who found the perfect balance between encouraging and constructive.

*King!

"Where are the good, well written, well plotted standalone books? Where are they?"

A series pays better on kindle unlimited so it's more profitable for the author