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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wish my DH had better taste?

88 replies

Mum3boyz · 04/10/2022 19:09

Ok, so I know this is a very small issue in the grand scheme of things but how do you cope if you have a very different style taste than your DH? Mine is really old-fashioned and thinks I just follow style and fashion so we can't get anywhere in improving our house. We recently redecorated, and we have hardwood floors and a very large living room, so I want an area rug to define the seating area and make the room cosy and feel warm. DH says we can only have a small rug and he doesn't want the feet of the furniture on the rug and he doesn't care if that is not how a living room should be styled. It has really upset me because we can't now agree and so we have no rug, and the room feels cold and uninviting. I appreciate this is not exactly the end of the world and my DH is a lovely person. But I feel so upset as I can't have the dream living space that I wanted, and that's all I now see when I go into the living room. I do realise though that if I get what I want DH doesn't get what he wants. Am I being unreasonable to feel upset?

OP posts:
AtrociousCircumstance · 04/10/2022 19:10

No YANBU. He’s being so obstructive over a rug.

Get the rug.

Mumoftwo2021 · 04/10/2022 19:13

I would say have a room each that you decorate to your own style, it’s his house as much as yours and vice Versa.
Also if your tastes are the opposite end of the scale they won’t work In the same room together anyway so not much room for compromise xx

VeniVidiWeeWee · 04/10/2022 19:14

What is the point is having an expensive hardwood floor and covering it up with a large rug?

Hotandbothereds · 04/10/2022 19:16

I couldn’t be bothered having fall out over a rug but tbh my DH has no opinion on home decor and I just do whatever I like, as long as I’m in budget I just do what I fancy.

SudocremOnEverything · 04/10/2022 19:16

As with all things, you’re going to have to compromise. 🤷🏻‍♀️

marvik · 04/10/2022 19:18

If he was that old-fashioned you wouldn't have redecorated and hardwood floors put in. I don't really know what an area rug is, but it sounds more as if you want something like non-fitted carpet - like a large Turkish carpet? - over a substantial area I think of a rug as something relatively small you have in front of a fire place.

I really don't think you have 'better' taste. It's just a difference of opinion.

Hearthnhome · 04/10/2022 19:19

So it’s not that he has no taste. It’s that his taste is different to yours and neither of you can compromise?

Toomanysleepycats · 04/10/2022 19:20

Every article I’ve ever read says that most people buy an undersized rug and that it should reach under the furniture.

Explain it’s not a fashion or trend it’s the same as having too small radiators that fail to heat a room, or an underpowered engine.

Show him the articles. Tell him you want it because you like it. If it’s anchored under the furniture it will stop it slipping and be easier to hoover.

Go and buy it. Get the ‘wrong’ size.

mamabear715 · 04/10/2022 19:21

Get the rug.
Most men wouldn't even notice.. ;-)

LindseyHoyleSpeaks · 04/10/2022 19:22

Not sure why his needs/wants trump yours.
Just do it. He probably won’t be bothered to move it out of the way!

namechangetheworld · 04/10/2022 19:24

Go and buy it. Get the ‘wrong’ size.

Typical Mumsnet double standards as per usual. If a bloke bought a rug he knew his wife would hate he would be accused of being controlling and all sorts of other stuff.

Why does the OP's desire for a massive rug trump his desire for a smaller rug?

SudocremOnEverything · 04/10/2022 19:26

Toomanysleepycats · 04/10/2022 19:20

Every article I’ve ever read says that most people buy an undersized rug and that it should reach under the furniture.

Explain it’s not a fashion or trend it’s the same as having too small radiators that fail to heat a room, or an underpowered engine.

Show him the articles. Tell him you want it because you like it. If it’s anchored under the furniture it will stop it slipping and be easier to hoover.

Go and buy it. Get the ‘wrong’ size.

That is fashion though. There’s no rule that a rug must be any particular size or go under the furniture. It’s just what some people currently think is the right way to do things (and write stuff online about it).

Having radiators that won’t manage to heat your room is different. The equivalent would be saying that vertical radiators are correct but most people buy the wrong kind of standard style ones.

Butterflyfluff · 04/10/2022 19:26

I’ve no idea why you’d want a rug that goes under the furniture if you’ve gone to the expense of having a hardwood floor

Surely you’d just have a rug as a focal point but the furniture would be on the wooden parts

If not, you may as well have carpeted the room

StupidSmallFruit · 04/10/2022 19:27

VeniVidiWeeWee · 04/10/2022 19:14

What is the point is having an expensive hardwood floor and covering it up with a large rug?

We have wooden floors through our house - no carpet any rooms, and have huge rugs in some rooms. Certainly in the living room.

CaptainThe95thRifles · 04/10/2022 19:28

Your DH is just as entitled to have the house styled to his tastes as you are to yours - and his taste is most definitely not "worse" than yours 🙄 Deal with it like an adult and find a compromise.

Original poster
Mum3boyz · 04/10/2022 19:28

@Toomanysleepycats - I'm glad you too have read the same articles as me. I have tried to show him pictures of a rug that's too small and what the articles say, and he just says he doesn't care about how things should look, he wants a little rug under the coffee table! I don't think I will get away with getting the wrong size sadly :(

OP posts:
StupidSmallFruit · 04/10/2022 19:29

Have you shown him pictures on Pinterest of the sort of thing you like?

I’m guessing so.

steff13 · 04/10/2022 19:30

LindseyHoyleSpeaks · 04/10/2022 19:22

Not sure why his needs/wants trump yours.
Just do it. He probably won’t be bothered to move it out of the way!

Why do her wants/needs trump his?

EscapeRoomToTheSun · 04/10/2022 19:31

What are you on about the wrong size rug. You do sound like you're just following fashion! Did you redecorate from grey?

steff13 · 04/10/2022 19:31

I don't see why a compromise can't be made here. Let him choose the rug itself and you order the size you want.

Original poster
Mum3boyz · 04/10/2022 19:31

@CaptainThe95thRifles It is the compromise that we are struggling with. Neither of us is able to find one because we want something totally different.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mum3boyz · 04/10/2022 19:32

@steff13 I have suggested that but he won't budge on size.

OP posts:
Iknowthis1 · 04/10/2022 19:34

If you spread out bedsheets on the floor to she size of the rugs is there a chance he'll see how crap the small rug will look compared to the big one?

Iknowthis1 · 04/10/2022 19:36

Bil is like this. He usually realises himself that he's made a mistake when he sees the actual item looking awful in the house. They return a lot.

Midnights · 04/10/2022 19:37

I have very very different tastes to my DH - however I spend the time researching / planning / buying / decorating, so tbh the majority is to my tastes. He has his office which is completely his style (and I spent ages finding the best bits to make his office just to his tastes!).

He's once made a stand - about a rug weirdly enough. When it arrived and looked ridiculous he sent it back 😂

Honestly, tell him that small rugs slip and move, it needs to be anchored. It'll also be cosier on your feet if it's tucked under the furniture!