I'm sorry, I'm posting for traffic as I'm desperate.
My DP has 2 children, he is a fantastic dad and loves his kids so much.
We've just received an email to say that DP isn't DS dad. DS is 10, his mum has told him. She isn't the easiest of people to deal with, in fact she is absolutely awful. She likes to use the kids as a weapon to get what she wants, with that in mind, we asked for proof. That has now been given.
DP is a mess, understandably. My concern is, last year he had a complete mental breakdown, he was so ill, contemplated suicide, it was just a horrible time. He's on the road to recovery, but isn't yet 100%. This news has destroyed him all over again.
How do I help? I feel at a complete loss, I don't know what to say. I don't know how to be there for him. I don't know how I can possibly make this easier for him, I'm so scared he's going to break down again. It's just a horrible horrible situation.
Any help would be greatly appreciated.
AIBU?
How to help DP
tiddlywinks2 · 04/10/2022 15:32
tiddlywinks2 · 04/10/2022 16:40
Thank you for replying @yougotthelook, the difficulty I have is trying to support him. He's come home from work, I've told him to go upstairs and have some time. As my 3DC are playing.
warofthemonstertrucks · 04/10/2022 16:39
My DP has been through a very bad time with his ex wife re the custody of their children and ended up in a Similar state to yours.
It became all encompassing for both of us-and it ended up affecting my mental health seeing him suffer so much and not being able to do anything about it.things that helped are getting him some medication, getting him some counselling, taking plenty of time out-the two of us-talking everything through and sort of simplifying everything else a bit-no testing social stuff for example -just going to ground a bit. And time tbh... it all takes time to process.
Yours/his sounds an awful situation-my sympathies to you both
User38899953 · 04/10/2022 16:41
How old is the DC? I think is is really relevant o get good advice.
Is he absolutely sure she is telling the truth? Has he done his own test to conform.
Is child aware of it ?
ICanHideButICantRun · 04/10/2022 16:51
What a horrible thing to happen to your poor partner and his son. A PP is right, he's still the boy's dad.
If I were him I'd reduce the CM and save that money for his son's future.
warofthemonstertrucks · 04/10/2022 17:11
I wood encourage him to tell
The therapist himself tbh.
Is the letter definitely legit? Just as I know now from dealing with DP's ex wife that some people really are that vile that they would falsify something like this to get their own horrible way
warofthemonstertrucks · 04/10/2022 17:15
With re your DP-hate to say it but if he is really bad-and you will know what that looks like-don't leave him alone too long.
I worked from home a lot last year (sometimes I really took emergency leave but didn't tell DP as he would feel guilty about that on top) because there were days where I wasn't sure that if I left him I'd come back to find him still with us.
It's so hard because there is really nothing you can say to make any of it better.
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