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AIBU?

My husband flirting with cousin

86 replies

Mimimi14 · 04/10/2022 12:16

So a bit of a backstory: my cousin and husband always play fight or joke around when we are together at family events or just when she’s over at ours. I felt uncomfortable as he very rarely play fights with me, so the other day on my birthday we are went out for a meal. My cousin and husband hardly spoke of say maybe 2/3 sentences at most. That same night they had been messaging, it alls started because she messaged him asking if she had the right account details to transfer me money on behalf of her mum for my birthday ( bare in mind she’s transferred me money before), also it’s important to note that she had already messaged me telling me she had transferred me £30. So my question is why did she message my cousin to begin with if she was already speaking to me ? Anyways, after this they both kept joking around/ cussing each-other thru text and then a message that through me off was that he said “ it was already painful seeing your awful face the whole night” that to me sounds like flirting as if he was complimenting her on the sly.

also she’s stolen my makeup from me in the past whenever she’s slept over and my husband knows this why is he being all nice towards her.

please help me or am I just being paranoid

thread title by MNHQ edited to avoid further confusion

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Am I being unreasonable?

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Mimimi14 · 04/10/2022 12:17

So a bit of a backstory: my cousin and husband always play fight or joke around when we are together at family events or just when she’s over at ours. I felt uncomfortable as he very rarely play fights with me, so the other day on my birthday we are went out for a meal. My cousin and husband hardly spoke of say maybe 2/3 sentences at most. That same night they had been messaging, it alls started because she messaged him asking if she had the right account details to transfer me money on behalf of her mum for my birthday ( bare in mind she’s transferred me money before), also it’s important to note that she had already messaged me telling me she had transferred me £30. So my question is why did she message my cousin to begin with if she was already speaking to me ? Anyways, after this they both kept joking around/ cussing each-other thru text and then a message that through me off was that he said “ it was already painful seeing your awful face the whole night” that to me sounds like flirting as if he was complimenting her on the sly.


also she’s stolen my makeup from me in the past whenever she’s slept over and my husband knows this why is he being all nice towards her.


please help me or am I just being paranoid

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Mimimi14 · 04/10/2022 12:19

So a bit of a backstory: my cousin and husband always play fight or joke around when we are together at family events or just when she’s over at ours. I felt uncomfortable as he very rarely play fights with me, so the other day on my birthday we are went out for a meal. My cousin and husband hardly spoke, they spoke maybe 2/3 sentences at most. That same night they had been messaging, it all started because she messaged him asking if she had the right account details to transfer me money on behalf of her mum for my birthday ( bare in mind she’s transferred me money before), also it’s important to note that she had already messaged me telling me she had transferred me £30. So my question is why did she message my cousin to begin with if she was already speaking to me ? Anyways, after this they both kept joking around/ cussing each-other thru text and then a message that through me off was that he said “ it was already painful seeing your awful face the whole night” that to me sounds like flirting as if he was complimenting her on the sly.


also she’s stolen my makeup from me in the past whenever she’s slept over and my husband knows this why is he being all nice towards her.


please help me or am I just being paranoid

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SleeplessInEngland · 04/10/2022 12:19

Huh?

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CountessWindyBottom · 04/10/2022 12:20

This makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

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Blocked · 04/10/2022 12:21

So your husband and cousin flirt with each other in front of you and now they've take it to private messaging?

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Mimimi14 · 04/10/2022 12:21

Sorry, she messaged my husband asking for my account details despite already transferring my birthday money.

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britneyisfree · 04/10/2022 12:22

Confused
Ask him or her if they are planning to sleep together?

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Mimimi14 · 04/10/2022 12:22

Yeahh, like whenever they message eachother they also cuss eachother subtly.. I’m confused because at the time they were messaging I was with him sat on the sofa

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YellowTreeHouse · 04/10/2022 12:22

You’ve posted this before.

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Mingot · 04/10/2022 12:24

You've posted this before. The answers will be the same

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Mimimi14 · 04/10/2022 12:26

I rephrased my post as the first one didn’t make sense but it failed delete. What would be your advise regarding the post

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SleeplessInEngland · 04/10/2022 12:27

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

GobbolinoTheWitchesCat · 04/10/2022 12:27

Have you ever spoken to your husband about this?

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Hearthnhome · 04/10/2022 12:28

What’s the stolen make up for to do with anything?

If you think they are shagging, confront them. If you think they are behaving inappropriately, tell them both.

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YellowTreeHouse · 04/10/2022 12:28

Mimimi14 · 04/10/2022 12:26

I rephrased my post as the first one didn’t make sense but it failed delete. What would be your advise regarding the post

No, you’ve made a previous thread on this subject before.

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ParentallyUnprepared · 04/10/2022 12:30

I've definitely read this before.

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Mimimi14 · 04/10/2022 12:30

no I haven’t, I only just created the account as I was reading something similar

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SleeplessInEngland · 04/10/2022 12:31

This reply has been deleted

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Mimimi14 · 04/10/2022 12:32

I only mentioned the stolen make up as he knows what type of person she is. Also o haven’t spoken to my husband about the play fighting before and I only just saw the messages this morning

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GobbolinoTheWitchesCat · 04/10/2022 12:34

I'm sorry you're getting such abrasive responses here op.

First, you need to talk to your husband. Tell him you're not happy with this behaviour and it needs to stop. Ask if anything has ever gone on between them.

Ask your cousin to only communicate through you.

Your husband ought to have your back on this, if he doesn't- or if the inappropriate behaviour continues - then you'll need to start considering whether your marriage is viable.

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Paintbynumber · 04/10/2022 12:34

Your husband is flirting with a husband. You want to know why your cousin messaged your cousin while talking to you. Your husband and cousin said only 2 sentences but were messaging 'cussing each other', whatever that is, your husband said your face is painful but you think he's flirting and she nicked your makeup.....


WTAF??? How old are you all? I need a drink after reading that 3 times.

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Mimimi14 · 04/10/2022 12:36

Thank you, for your advice & support. I’m actually really upset about the whole situation because I thought our marriage was going perfectly fine, we’ve only just moved into our new place

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Mimimi14 · 04/10/2022 12:37

I’m sorry for the confusion, my husband was flirting with my cousin through text, after our family dinner on Saturday for my birthday. I am 27 years old and my husband is 28. My cousin is 22 years old. They both always play fight with eachother when together and cuss eachother subtly

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phishy · 04/10/2022 12:40

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Unless you can link the supposed previous thread, your post really isn't helpful. Reported.

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GobbolinoTheWitchesCat · 04/10/2022 12:42

Wish people wouldn't be so rude and hostile when a post isn't as clear as it could be - it was clearly written when the op was in a bit of a state.

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