My husband flirting with cousin

[Mimimi14]

So a bit of a backstory: my cousin and husband always play fight or joke around when we are together at family events or just when she’s over at ours. I felt uncomfortable as he very rarely play fights with me, so the other day on my birthday we are went out for a meal. My cousin and husband hardly spoke of say maybe 2/3 sentences at most. That same night they had been messaging, it alls started because she messaged him asking if she had the right account details to transfer me money on behalf of her mum for my birthday ( bare in mind she’s transferred me money before), also it’s important to note that she had already messaged me telling me she had transferred me £30. So my question is why did she message my cousin to begin with if she was already speaking to me ? Anyways, after this they both kept joking around/ cussing each-other thru text and then a message that through me off was that he said “ it was already painful seeing your awful face the whole night” that to me sounds like flirting as if he was complimenting her on the sly.

also she’s stolen my makeup from me in the past whenever she’s slept over and my husband knows this why is he being all nice towards her.

please help me or am I just being paranoid

thread title by MNHQ edited to avoid further confusion

if you don’t like it tell him to stop, if he won’t stop, you’re not a priority, and why be with someone like that ?

That’s assuming that they are flirting, and you aren’t just reading too much into a “friendly” situation

What is cussing?

If your husband is flirting then you pull him up on it, you don't have to sit there and accept it.

What play fighting are 20 odd year olds doing. My kids use to play fight when smaller, they'd wrestle on the ground and get each other in headlocks, or they'd slam into each other, is this the type of thing they're doing? Although I'm thinking in the middle of a restaurant that's not a good look.

There was an almost identical thread a while ago.

What is cussing?

Swearing

cuss eachother subtly

What does that mean?

You all sold a little immature. Why does your husband need to be nice to her because of the make up?

You need to put a stop to this, it's inappropriate. Your husband at his age should know better. She's a lot younger and single, this was on him to shut down as soon as it started. You should have told him how you feel about this sooner. Do it now and don't let him try to tell you that it's anything but disrespectful to you and your marriage.

Have you told him how you feel?

If you have posted before then this has been going on for quite a while.

Sorry you're getting a bit of a pile on here OP, unfortunately on MN once one person is nasty it opens the floodgates for others to follow suit.

You're obviously upset, and mistakes can be made in typing.

You need to speak to your husband and let him know how inappropriate it is.

“ it was already painful seeing your awful face the whole night”

If this is your idea of flirting it shouldn’t be too hard for you to snag another man.

I’m confused. Is your husband flirting with your female cousin or is he flirting with her husband?

I won't pretend to understand everything, because it was written in a slightly confusing way. However - yeah, from the bits I understand, it does sound a bit flirty. That doesn't necessarily mean that anything has happened between them, but it does sound as if they might fancy each other a bit.

I think you should talk to him about how you're feeling.

I think this is the thread everyone's referring to: www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4588101-husband-flirting-with-my-cousin-or-do-i-just-hate-her?postsby=Minvixtus

Very similar situations. OP you might get some insight by reading the comments on there.

Understood with a little effort. Your husband is flirting with your cousin. In front of you effectively. The question is, can it be ended and your mind put at rest by telling him and/or her - you are flirting in plain sight, it has to end now.

Best case scenario is that your DH has been flattered by the attention from a younger woman and didn't realise he was making fools out of the two of you, once he realises he stops behaving inappropriately, cousin backs off, end of story.

But they might deny and carry on, or hide it better, or they stop it but you can't ut it behind you as the damage is done.

No crystal balls I'm afraid, one thing we can be fairly sure of, it's unlikely to end itself without you saying anything I'm afraid.

I’m saying why is he overly friendly with her knowing that she’s previously stolen my makeup on the past

It’ no good asking strangers on MN. Ask him.

Again sorry for the confusion and I will have a word with him today

Thank youu

@phishy
You know stating "Reported." really isn't the fantastic comeback you think it is?

Clearly lots of people remember a very similar thread, including me. 🙄

Have you posted about them before?

I know I should of cut it off sooner the minute it made me feel uncomfortable. Thank you for the advice

Same.

Have you actually spoken to him about it?

The make up is irrelevant.

It is not normal to be texting someone right next to you like they are when they can just speak in person.

@phishy

Husband flirting with my cousin? or do I just hate her? http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/4588101-husband-flirting-with-my-cousin-or-do-i-just-hate-her

This is the thread people were referring to before you got on your high horse.

Play fight as in physically? Your husband and younger female cousin?

I can't ever imagine seeing dh 'playfighting' with another woman. Totally inappropriate, disrespectful and just downright fucking odd unless they're both 10 years old.

I would read that other thread OP.

It is similar and if I recall plenty had something constructive to say.

If I was dealing with your situation? It would be nipped in the bud.

If it persisted? There’s be two other things nipped at the bud.