My husband flirting with cousin

[Mimimi14]

So a bit of a backstory: my cousin and husband always play fight or joke around when we are together at family events or just when she’s over at ours. I felt uncomfortable as he very rarely play fights with me, so the other day on my birthday we are went out for a meal. My cousin and husband hardly spoke of say maybe 2/3 sentences at most. That same night they had been messaging, it alls started because she messaged him asking if she had the right account details to transfer me money on behalf of her mum for my birthday ( bare in mind she’s transferred me money before), also it’s important to note that she had already messaged me telling me she had transferred me £30. So my question is why did she message my cousin to begin with if she was already speaking to me ? Anyways, after this they both kept joking around/ cussing each-other thru text and then a message that through me off was that he said “ it was already painful seeing your awful face the whole night” that to me sounds like flirting as if he was complimenting her on the sly.

also she’s stolen my makeup from me in the past whenever she’s slept over and my husband knows this why is he being all nice towards her.

please help me or am I just being paranoid

thread title by MNHQ edited to avoid further confusion

Try to think of it in a US accent and in an old timey Western film. That's what I think of anyway. It's not used where I have lived in the UK. I'm sure someone will come along to say it's regional.

Basically you need to tell them both, separately to stop it.

Would they have got together/got married if it was acceptable? Marriage between cousins is ok I thought.

Totally not acceptable to flirt in front of you and pass it off as 'playfighting'.

Also stealing your makeup from you. Speak to her about it. If she's to come over to your house tell her/him that you don't want to have to lock your belongings away otherwise she doesn't come over.

for all those saying Snap Chat is for younger people. Load of rubbish. I used to work with colleagues and we socialised a lot and all of them, early to mid to late 20s used Snap Chat and quite a lot too. I mean I can't stand it so don't use it.

@GonnaGetGoingReturns it's her cousin not his 🤣

I do think the thread before is very very similar and OP is either playing dumb by denying it was her (I think it was), so she's posted a new thread (but not troll like) to see what her responses will be. In that case, I just wish posters were more honest and said, yeah, I posted this, this summer, I either didn't like the answers or I tried them out and they didn't work and it's happened again so what do I do?

Oh right. Can't keep up.

Some people in the U.S. use ‘cuss’ as a slang form of ‘curse.’

OP, your H and your Cousin fancy each other and are clearly flirting via the physical contact and messaging. You should have tackled this blatant disrespect long ago.

The ego thrill he gets from flirting with her means more to him than the fact that she steals from you. I’m actually surprised that you are still inviting her to your home and to your birthday dinners.

Stop being passive about their disrespect. Read him the riot act and stop tolerating this.

Depending on the culture it’s often a norm for men to treat a wife’s cousin like he would a little sister. Joking and teasing etc.

Regardless, if something is making you uncomfortable you need to tell him and get him to shut it down.

Sounds a bit 'off' @Mimimi14 I wouldn't like it either. Seems like this has been going on for a while. I would talk to him about it, and if he ignores you and persists in flirting with her, I would be looking at leaving him. And SHE would be ghosted too. Cousin or no cousin.

That's insulting each other, it might make it easier to understand if you use more recognised words

Is there some kind of cultural issue involved that would explain the unusual behaviour?