Long one. Bear with. Don't want to drip feed. Recognise that there are many more important things going on in the world but I AM SEETHING.
My BIL contacted me a few weeks ago to ask if we knew of anyone who could rent out a room in London for a few nights to one of his work colleagues. He told me the budget. I checked with my sister on the off chance and, as it was a favour for my BIL, she reluctantly said ok. When we reverted to my BIL he said thanks but no longer needed.
So far so good. Later that same evening my BIL contacted me again and said that actually he might need the room himself, same terms. He said he’d let me know a few days later which he did.
He then got in touch directly with my sister, knocked the price down by 20% per night even though he was not paying out of his own pocket as it’s a work trip (and the original amount in question was way below the cost of a central London hotel room). He also separately told me he would need an invoice for the cost and I said I was sure that would be fine. On the first day he arrived hours later than he agreed with my sister which inconvenienced her as she was leaving that day to go away for a few days. She provided the invoice on his arrival as requested. She left him milk, tea, biscuits, fresh bread, fruit etc to get him started.
He stayed three nights, leaving on Wednesday. By Friday he hadn’t been in contact or made payment. My sister mentioned this to me. She sent him a quick message asking if everything was ok, he said yes and asked her for her international details as he doesn’t have a sterling account. She wasn't sure exactly what was needed so I said "here, just send him mine, I'll explain to him to just make the payment to me and I'll pass it to you."
Saturday - I have received no payment. I mentioned to my DH that I was a bit peeved as it was embarrassing for me. I did not ask DH to get involved. However my DH then sent his brother a message, politely asking him to make the payment, but also mentioning that BIL had negotiated a reduction. BIL then messaged my sister to say he had paid.
Monday arrives - I have still not received the payment.
I am now further peeved about this and want to say something to my BIL but my sister says, it’s ok, leave it.
I mention to my DH again who then says he will pay my sister himself and then he “doesn’t want to hear another word about it”. He has now done this. He says his brother confirmed he’d made the payment on Saturday and his brother was “quite angry about how this has been handled”. DH also says it’s a “measly amount” and is saying my sister is creating drama and is no longer welcome to visit us.
I have pointed out that it is me who is angry with BIL, not my sister - and that the fact is BIL still hasn’t paid, whatever he says! I say that I’m annoyed because I was the one who persuaded my reluctant sister to help him out, that BIL wouldn’t be able to leave a hotel without paying so why does he think it’s ok to leave a private room and not pay for over 4 days, that as he works in a senior role in IT for an international company it is surely not beyond him to have found some way by now of paying for things in sterling in a more timely manner (Revolut??), that claiming he was too busy to attend to this when he had time to send stupid messages, gifs and emails about it over the last few days is not an acceptable stance (by comparison, my DH was able to say “I’ll pay” and then do so in less than 5 minutes), that arguing it’s “a measly amount” so why am I making a fuss and making out that it’s my sister who is at fault is ridiculous, that it was rude and discourteous for my BIL to arrive late on the first day without explanation, that it was mean to knock the price for the room down by 20% when it had already been agreed in advance and that my DH is basically being gas lit by his brother, my BIL, who is only "annoyed at the way it's been handled" because he is now aware that Inknow he hasn't paid, my DH knows he hasn't paid and my sister knows he hasn't paid.
AIBU or is my DH being unreasonable?
Secondary question - is my BIL a CF?
My DH says as he has now paid there is no need for any further discussion. I have said fine and that I will let DH know when the payment allegedly made by my BIL on Saturday finally arrives in my account, and will then reimburse my DH.
Hopefully sterling will still be the currency in the UK by then and the banking system won’t have crashed in the meantime. 😊