I earn £60k and I can’t keep my family warm

[Theyarellthesame]

Exactly that and I’m so, so frightened.

im 31 and I’ve done everything ‘right’ - went to uni, got myself a job and in 8 years increased my wage from £16k to £60k. We waited 13 years to have a baby until we’d saved up £20k so I could afford maternity leave, had £6k-ish left over after mat leave.

I live rurally in one of the cheapest areas in the country in a 4 bed Victorian semi, it’s not grand in any way. Lovely, but a basic 4 bed, 3 storey family home. When we moved in I had the loft insulated but we can’t have a smart meter because of something to do with where the meter is located.

My DH is a SAHP so no childcare costs for my 18 month old and he’d only be able to earn minimum wage so his take home pay per hour would be less than the cost of childcare, hence why he’s a SAHP.

Yesterday I got an email from bulb putting my direct debit up again from £290
to £470. It was £120 2 years ago. On top of everything else going up I just categorically cannot afford to pay that. There isn’t enough money by £149 a month to cover the bills for the household.

I think my options are to cancel paying in to my pension to free up that money or stop paying my student loan? Can you do student loan holidays?

mortgage is on a 5 year fix with 2 years left at 1.99% so that’s as low as it can go, we don’t have Netflix, sky or Prime anymore, we just have a TV license. We do have a Spotify subscription. Both our phones are on £20 a month contracts, we don’t have any debt other than student loans and the mortgage. We do have a dog and his pet insurance is £60 a month but it’s none- negotiable that we keep that going.

We batch cook using the instant pot to avoid putting the oven on, we do use the washing machine a lot because we use reusable nappies. I drive a plug in hybrid so the electric is high because of that.

We have 1 or 2 U.K. holidays a year, usually a static caravan or holiday cottage for a few days. Total cost of holidays per year is around £1k so I’ve already knocked saving for those on the head.

No chance of my wage increasing again any time soon, I’ve pushed very hard for the last 8 years to climb a very greasy ladder and there’s no where else to go from here.

WTF do I do?! There’s news all the time how this is going to get worse again in January and the only advice coming out seems to be ‘go and get a better paid job’ but I HAVE a well paid job! we want another baby but I’m currently telling DH no because we can’t afford it and need to save like crazy.

Im very very frightened, how much worse is it likely to get from here?

@GoldenElephant When I was earning £55k I was paying in excess of £300 per month for my student loan. If OP isn't paying £400pm it won't be far off.

I understand what would be left after taxation. 😉

Sorry OP just saw that your DH does work. Your food bill seems high though considering its 2 adults and a toddler, could that be reduced?

Your car costs are horrific. I presume the £150 per month fuel is the electric for running the car in addition to your household expenses? And £140 per month insurance 😲. The insurance for my newly qualified 18yo is less than that.

I'd look at car costs first, then the food bill which I imagine could be reduced unless you have allergy/intolerance issues to cater for.

As others have said it's not always beneficial to go with what the fuel companies suggest. If British Gas had their way I'd be paying £258 per month for duel fuel on a fixed tariff. I stayed on SVR and am paying £173. Will be a little short by the end of the year but nothing I shouldn't be able to manage. Even if I set the extra aside for the next 5 months, it only adds up to £230!

As a last resort, could you reduce your pension payments for a while? I completely understand why you're reluctant but you're young and this won't be forever.

I think your DH does need to look at his earning potential around your baby, but having read more of your posts you sound like a great little team.

Is your SIL getting everything she's entitled to financially?

I’m not sure it is sensible for the Op to reduce her pension amounts. She has said that her employer pays in well as well. Assuming “matching” then for every £100 she pays in her pension increases by £200.

@Mumoftwoinprimary You're missing the fact that most employers have a cap on which they will pay up to.

For example, mine will match, but only up to a maximum of 6% of my monthly salary. If I pay in any more than that, they don't match it, it's just the extra payments from me.

I suspect it's the same with OP. If she paid her entired salary into her pension, I doubt they'd match it - there will be a limit and it will very likely be less than £750.

I pay the 6% that my employer matches, and anything above that will be invested in other things that give a better return.

You need to check and understand your payslips as both pension contributions and student loan come out of your salary, so I don’t see how they can be costs after take home.

You should be getting child benefit with that salary and pension contributions so please be careful before reducing pension contributions as you would lose that. I don't see it listed in income though so check you are claiming.

Check heating of the garage - my partner has a similar hobby and our garage heating was costing a lot.

According to listentotaxman.com your student loan contributions seem high. Also not sure how you have calculated your income but I think your salary minus student loan and £750 monthly pension should give a take home pay of approx £2856 which is higher than what yours works out as when you list it as you have. I would take the starting point as what you actually receive and ignore the student loan and pension that come off beforehand.

Food also is higher than we spend as a bigger family so I'm sure some things can be trimmed.

Excellent post @Testina

I'm actually beginning to wonder if the OP is just a wind up.... it really doesn't add up.

-For a start, show me a cheapish area where a childminder costs more than NMW , ie over £9:50 an hour. It simply doesn't make sense that it's 'not worth' her DH working.

-secondly there are massive long term benefits to working such as paying into a pension and also improving earning power as the OP claims to have discovered for herself. If she came from a disadvantaged background and has worked her way to Uni and earning 60k, why does she seem to accept such a low bar for her DH?

-even if he doesn't want to work regular hours he could work more evenings or weekends

-he could put his hobby (because that's what it is) on hold because keeping a workshop going and spending time on it is an added expense

-she could reduce her pension payments because while a pension is important, to pay £750 a month and then complain you can't heat your house is ridiculous

-ultimately having one parent as pretty much a SAHP bar working a couple of evenings behind a bar is a luxury. The OP sounds hugely entitled to think they should be able to carry on like this

Tbh I call bullshit. The DH could work more; the OP could reduce expenditure; it seems they just don't want to. Although of course the whole thread may be made up anyways.

I'm wondering that too when she works from home so no commuting. That's going to be like 20 miles a day average? Plus the electric charging as well? How much driving actually needs done with a wfh wife and sahd?

£500 on food is insane for 3 people. We are half that on 2 people and could reduce that more if absolutely needed.

£140 on car insurance - you are either terrible at driving or not using comparison sites because it shouldn't be that much. My partner is learning and for my car with him included it's £14, and it's got a big engine. So you've either been taken for a fool or you've got a lot of points.

Yes, he doesn't need to sleep. What's wring with him.....

"Yesterday I got an email from bulb putting my direct debit up again from £290* to £470. It was £120 2 years ago" *

OP, just because energy company increased DD, it doesn't mean your bill will be that.

• *I ended up cancelling my DD with EOn for now, as they tried this twice already with me. Ring your energy provider and tell them not to increase your DD. And if you check your energy account, I bet you are in credit by hundreds, if you haven't done anything lately. Do not be sheeple, people, take control! At the end of the day this is OUR a money and we should be in control. Those energy companies have our bank details and blatantly think that they can do whatever they want with it. Do not give them control! I've read somewhere that companies are buying crypto currency with this 'surplus' money 😖

Something is wrong . I cannot believe someone on £60k cannot heat their home . You must be totally overstretched somewhere else eg heavily in debt or took out too big a mortgage .

Student loan repayments should be just under £300 per month if you earn 60k. You'd need to earn 74k a year to have to pay back £400 per month.

Its not really possible in most parts of the UK to live comfortably on one wage, not running a 4 bed house.

Can you downsize? Rent out your 4 bed house, and use the money to rent a cheaper 2 bed flat which will have lower bills & save you money besides.

Can your DH earn some money on weekends or in the evenings? Shifts in local pubs or shops etc.

Remember when your child is 3 you will get some funded childcare. Plan ahead - can your DH get training to hit the road running with a better paid job then?

I also don't understand your expenses list: student loan payments and pension contributions usually come out of your salary before tax etc is deducted. They aren't part of your take home pay.

Ffs I wish people would get over the house being 4 beds...this is not the issue

I’d also accept that when you’re in the stage of life with young children, you can’t afford to make the same financial choices as when they’re older. We had some really tough years but now they’re older and working outside the home is easier/cheaper, we’re making up for it. You’ve got to adjust your budget for your stage of life, hence the advice to cut the pension payments etc until you’re more able to afford them.

I think the house has to go that’s your biggest problem downsize, less of a mortgage and less of an energy bill as there is less space to heat etc

Your student loan shouldn't be £400. It's less than £300 assuming you're plan 1. Your car insurance is very high - points? Accident? You're paying a lot in other things too. So no, you haven't done everything right. You're wasting quite a lot sorry. Presumably your dh can also pick up extra pub shifts too? Did you ever answer queries about your usage?

What’s your annual gas and electricity usage in kWh OP?

Your DH needs to bin the side hustle £100pm and add more evening/weekend shifts in the pub.

I know the house was your dream but a Victorian 4 bed is very costly. I’d seriously look at a smaller or modern energy efficient home.

If you are trying to keep earnings down to keep child benefit is worth exploring a 4 day week and DH work 1 day a week.

More choices to look at….
£70 on dog food?

A 30kg dog (start weight for “large” not “medium”) is recommended 433g per day for highly active by JamesWellbeloved. That’s covered by £24.99 14kg of Bakers. I’m not starting a debate on preferred food, grain free, raw, whatever… but you are choosing to spend more.

I think there might be more than one pet - as insurance was £90 for this 9yo dog in one post but is now £160?

But there still may be scope for saving on food.

And again, it’s disingenuous to present this as £60K not being enough to heat your house, when you have luxury choices in your spending. You were faster to tell us you had cheap phones than you were to tell us that your pet(s) cost £230 a month! That’s a huge amount.

You need to review your choices - hobby business AND big house AND expensive pets AND higher than normal pension payments…
Time for a complete review I think!

Damn, you're right. Something's not right here.

Who would look after the baby in the day then?