I earn £60k and I can’t keep my family warm

[Theyarellthesame]

Exactly that and I’m so, so frightened.

im 31 and I’ve done everything ‘right’ - went to uni, got myself a job and in 8 years increased my wage from £16k to £60k. We waited 13 years to have a baby until we’d saved up £20k so I could afford maternity leave, had £6k-ish left over after mat leave.

I live rurally in one of the cheapest areas in the country in a 4 bed Victorian semi, it’s not grand in any way. Lovely, but a basic 4 bed, 3 storey family home. When we moved in I had the loft insulated but we can’t have a smart meter because of something to do with where the meter is located.

My DH is a SAHP so no childcare costs for my 18 month old and he’d only be able to earn minimum wage so his take home pay per hour would be less than the cost of childcare, hence why he’s a SAHP.

Yesterday I got an email from bulb putting my direct debit up again from £290
to £470. It was £120 2 years ago. On top of everything else going up I just categorically cannot afford to pay that. There isn’t enough money by £149 a month to cover the bills for the household.

I think my options are to cancel paying in to my pension to free up that money or stop paying my student loan? Can you do student loan holidays?

mortgage is on a 5 year fix with 2 years left at 1.99% so that’s as low as it can go, we don’t have Netflix, sky or Prime anymore, we just have a TV license. We do have a Spotify subscription. Both our phones are on £20 a month contracts, we don’t have any debt other than student loans and the mortgage. We do have a dog and his pet insurance is £60 a month but it’s none- negotiable that we keep that going.

We batch cook using the instant pot to avoid putting the oven on, we do use the washing machine a lot because we use reusable nappies. I drive a plug in hybrid so the electric is high because of that.

We have 1 or 2 U.K. holidays a year, usually a static caravan or holiday cottage for a few days. Total cost of holidays per year is around £1k so I’ve already knocked saving for those on the head.

No chance of my wage increasing again any time soon, I’ve pushed very hard for the last 8 years to climb a very greasy ladder and there’s no where else to go from here.

WTF do I do?! There’s news all the time how this is going to get worse again in January and the only advice coming out seems to be ‘go and get a better paid job’ but I HAVE a well paid job! we want another baby but I’m currently telling DH no because we can’t afford it and need to save like crazy.

Im very very frightened, how much worse is it likely to get from here?

I think the reality is that one income of £60k just isn't enough to fund 3 adults and a child. You might even be better off due to taxes, CB and student loan for you OP to go down in time and your OH to pick up some work. Or maybe you just can't afford to have a SAHP.

OP I am tearing up at how wonderful your DH's family were to you and I bet you and your husband have a wonderful loving marriage. Congratulations on that, an achievement so many of us hope for in life.

I genuinely think the answer is that 'it's just a bit shit' and yes, your salary isn't enough - it's not fair but now we must find a solution.

I'm an accountant, please make sure you are claiming all necessary expenses against your income. For example, the costs associated with WFH twice a week. This is apportioned based on usage so your electricity/gas/furnishings for the office etc. This won't benefit immediately but should lead to rebate in April time.

I assume you're not declaring your DH's income, which you shouldn't unless it hits over £1k. Plus his PA means it's fine anyway. More hassle than it's worth right now.

There's a few things I can think of to help boost income even by a tiny bit:

• DH to take on one extra shift or do one more woodwork thing a month
• Mystery Shopping - people suggest this and don't give enough info on it. I am signed up to www.proinsight.org/ I like them, they pay on time, the surveys can be annoying but I've done things from mini golf (with £100 for food), axe throwing, starbucks, David Lloyd membership, meals out at chain pubs. There is always something in my area (granted, more urban but not London). If I could be bothered, I could make a few hundred a month.Your DH could do a lot of it in the day with baby.

A few things I do NOT recommend:

• any suggestion at selling your home is the most bizarre thing ever. ALWAYS house yourself first, then worry about others. It should go: housing, food, gas/electric in terms of priority.
• Stopping your pension - this is a great tax avoidance benefit and helps you more to do it than to take away with CB etc.
• Stopping your student loan - they just won't let you so no point thinking about it

Unlike others, I wouldn't reduce your pension contributions unless all other outgoings had been accounted for as I don't think you would see as much benefit as people think. I assume though that paying that much into pension means that you get child benefit?

My SIL was the main earner when her kids were young. BIL became a SAHP after second was born, but...

They tightened their belts for a year to enable him to retrain as a childminder, which he did successfully and warned a decent income from for the next 16 years.

In the current climate you just can't have your DH not working at all.

Are there other options than car for getting to and from work?

Downsize, if the costs are worthwhile...a family of three doesn't need a 4 bed, 3 storey townhouse.

I know this sounds brutal and it's shit but I think atm it's just a case of doing whatever it takes.

So he would work through the night then look after the child all day? When would he sleep?! Surely any job wouldn’t be enough to cover childcare - the OP has calculated that

@Theyarellthesame

Have you seen the comments from people saying you've added the numbers up incorrectly? It might not be as bad as you think unless you have other outgoings you haven't listed.

Agree with other comments that your car insurance seems very high so there are potentially savings to be had there if you shop around.

And echo all the other comments about looking closely at the DD vs actual usage for your energy bills as they are absolutely not the same thing.

Good luck.

Do you get your water for free? I can't see that in your budget.

Your food bill is insane. I pay less per annum for my car insurance than you pay a month. I hope you haven't got one of those dumbarse chelsea tractors that get used twice a week.

Cancel the energy direct debit and just pay for what you use. Sorry to say but, as it stands now, your dog is a luxury you cannot afford.

Also, you have listed £750 and £400 student loan on your pension out of your net earnings? This doesn't made sense, as it's deducted before tax? At least the pension is,

I'd downsize the house of I were you

Are people insane? OP's DH looks after a small child all day and now he's expected to finish a long knackering day and then go and work for another 6 hours?

A long knackering day?

What do you think other people do with young kids - they go to work all day and then come home and look after their DCs.

He’ll be doing exactly the same as every other working parent but just the other way around.

On all these costsaving threads, I always think food is too high. We are veggie and therefore spend much less on food, but I still think you can shave your food bill substantially.

I think you have done really well to get where you are given your difficult childhood but something has to give. Personally I would rather cut food bills or move than take in a lodger.

Sorry there's a couple of lines missing, I'd not included what we put into rainy day because I intend to cancel this plus cancel our extra insurances:

My Income: £3,600
DH's Income: £350
Energy: £470
Life insurance: £30
Car Insurance: £140
Home insurance: £14
Mortgage: £849
TV: £15
Phones: £40
Fuel: £150
Pet Insurance: £160
Dog Food: £70
Food: £500
Pension: £750
Spotify: £12
Playgroup: £30
Income Insurance, boiler insurance, appliances insurance: £44
Rainy Day savings: £100
Council Tax: £310
Broadband: £22
Student Loan: £400
Income: £3,950
Outgoings: £4,106

Do you understand the cost, time and stress involved in selling and buying property?

Could you buy disposable nappies instead to reduce the amount of times you put the washing machine on? Sorry I know that’s a very small point, but it might help to bring your energy costs down.

Is there any chance your DH could bring in some money e.g. could he work from home or work nights? Do you have any friends or family who could help with childcare so your DH could work?

What I’ve done as well is your condense my working hrs to 4 days so that would mean you can do childcare 3 days which would free your partner to pick up an extra shift

So I think people have said most of the things I am thinking but spread across multiple posts:

1. Pension and student loans should be coming out before tax? I think we need to understand this more.
2. Car and pet insurance both look very high, as does food.
3. There's no allowance here for clothes, house repairs, car MOT, Christmas or birthdays - you need to work out what you actually spend on these.
4. Is the £350 net after the cost of his electricity and wood and materials? If not, you need to start accounting for these as business expenses.
5. £240 a month in the summer for utilities seems very high
6. I can't see water on that list?

Agree I don’t think the op should downsize as there is room to manoeuvre costs

None of your expenses look ridiculous to me. The energy bill sounds a bit high, but I know the type of house you are in and they are very expensive to heat. First you should do is would double check that you are paying the right amount, and that you are on the right tariff for charging a car overnight. If your billing is correct it might be worth considering moving to a newer house. My friend lives in a similar house to yours and pays almost double in energy compared to what I pay to heat a 1990s house of a similar size.

You shouldn't have seen a big jump in your fuel bill as a result of the October price cap increasing because government has capped fuel costs below the Ofgem cap so if you are on monthly DD it shouldn't jump up much beyond what you've been paying since January unless your usage has increased substantially. You also don't need to worry about another jump in January because the unit cost is frozen for this winter and next.

The other costs I would reconsider are your pension payments and your food bill. You are saving a really good chunk of your income into your pension and you could perhaps reduce this temporarily. Your food bill is also very high for two adults and a toddler. We still shop in Sainsburys and manage to spend less than £100 a week for a family of four.

Sorry but for me being SAHP was 10x more knackering than doing my well paid, high pressure, high responsibility job. And it was a totally different ballgame to picking up DC from childcare at 5.30/6 and then parenting til bedtime. Totally different. Absolutely no way could I have done it and then gone and worked til midnight in a pub, I'd have been completely burnt out and my mental health would have gone totally to shit.

I'd cancel your direct debit, then spend some time working out how much you actually spend on energy, and what you can do to cut down.

After last winter I was £400 in credit because my energy company decided I'd be using way more energy than I did. It was ludicrous when they said they'd double my direct debit because my credit just increased every month!

I cancelled it three months ago, am still £200 in credit, I put the DD money in a separate account for when I get back into debit and keep a close eye on their estimates.

My energy company has a chart of what they think I'll be using over the next year, every month I save this and compare it to my actual usage. They are so far out it's unbelievable. I currently use about 45kwh of gas a month and they are estimating I use about 1500kwh this month and last month!

So my advice is to get smart about what's actually happening with your usage and work out from there what to do.

Pension is the obvious one to cut. You can't afford to pay so much in at the moment, so reduce that.

It is a luxury to have a SAHP so even a couple of evening or weekend shifts would help. And certainly a plan of how he can get back into work once the baby is older, as minimum wage pay will never cover childcare.

If you take those two things out you are fine? I mean it's tight, but I think that's what you would expect when you choose to be a one income household isn't it?

Although, I agree, your car insurance is really high.

Why is your car insurance so high? That's definitely something I'd look into!

Probably a worthwhile investment òver losing the house or not being able to use basic utilities or eat though?

I would cut the pension contributions down. They're massive. That's a luxury you can't afford alongside paying £400 a month back to student loans.

Don't be like my friend who paid £500+ a month into her pension and died in her 40's. You shouldn't sacrifice your actual life now on the off chance you might make it to 80+ and need that huge pension.