I earn £60k and I can’t keep my family warm

[Theyarellthesame]

Exactly that and I’m so, so frightened.

im 31 and I’ve done everything ‘right’ - went to uni, got myself a job and in 8 years increased my wage from £16k to £60k. We waited 13 years to have a baby until we’d saved up £20k so I could afford maternity leave, had £6k-ish left over after mat leave.

I live rurally in one of the cheapest areas in the country in a 4 bed Victorian semi, it’s not grand in any way. Lovely, but a basic 4 bed, 3 storey family home. When we moved in I had the loft insulated but we can’t have a smart meter because of something to do with where the meter is located.

My DH is a SAHP so no childcare costs for my 18 month old and he’d only be able to earn minimum wage so his take home pay per hour would be less than the cost of childcare, hence why he’s a SAHP.

Yesterday I got an email from bulb putting my direct debit up again from £290
to £470. It was £120 2 years ago. On top of everything else going up I just categorically cannot afford to pay that. There isn’t enough money by £149 a month to cover the bills for the household.

I think my options are to cancel paying in to my pension to free up that money or stop paying my student loan? Can you do student loan holidays?

mortgage is on a 5 year fix with 2 years left at 1.99% so that’s as low as it can go, we don’t have Netflix, sky or Prime anymore, we just have a TV license. We do have a Spotify subscription. Both our phones are on £20 a month contracts, we don’t have any debt other than student loans and the mortgage. We do have a dog and his pet insurance is £60 a month but it’s none- negotiable that we keep that going.

We batch cook using the instant pot to avoid putting the oven on, we do use the washing machine a lot because we use reusable nappies. I drive a plug in hybrid so the electric is high because of that.

We have 1 or 2 U.K. holidays a year, usually a static caravan or holiday cottage for a few days. Total cost of holidays per year is around £1k so I’ve already knocked saving for those on the head.

No chance of my wage increasing again any time soon, I’ve pushed very hard for the last 8 years to climb a very greasy ladder and there’s no where else to go from here.

WTF do I do?! There’s news all the time how this is going to get worse again in January and the only advice coming out seems to be ‘go and get a better paid job’ but I HAVE a well paid job! we want another baby but I’m currently telling DH no because we can’t afford it and need to save like crazy.

Im very very frightened, how much worse is it likely to get from here?

I'd genuinely look at your account with bulb. I have just discovered £900 credit on our account. That's us saving £300 for the next 3 months - we've effectively paid through till Xmas now! Then I will reduce our monthly payments to what we actually use.

I was shocked I have to confess.

I earn under 40k, I get no benefits, I insure and feed 4 dogs and 6 cats. I pay £1025 a month in rent (or did last month as I’m just about to move to rent free) and I manage to pay an energy bill of £300 along with the usual Netflix, Spotify, Xbox. I support financially my mum and my son, and am pregnant.

In my bank each month I get £2200. If I can manage to live happily, eat mostly organic, feed the animals good food, run a car, pay for stuff then you must have something draining your money away if you can’t manage with a mortgage of £800 and a salary of 60k

£2200 is the ONLY money that comes into my house.

The above sounds harsh, it isn’t actually intended to be. Have you looked at moneysavingexpert forums to see if they can advise on how to bring your costs down? I don’t scrimp and save whatsoever. I don’t waste my money, my son has the clothes he needs and nothing more for example.

Student loan repayments are £400 a month, I do contribute a lot to my pension (£750 a month) because DH doesn’t have one and neither did I until 4 years ago; my pension plan is pretty good and we don’t have another fallback plan for our old age without contributing substantially now. I grew up in less than ideal circumstances so there’s no inheritance to fund us from my side, DH’s parents both died 2 years ago so nothing there.

No car payments, bought it outright by saving for it when times were easier and it’s absolutely not a luxury car

Dog: he’s 9 years old, we’ve had him from a puppy and bought him when we could absolutely afford to. He’s had max level insurance from the day we brought him home which has turned out to be a savvy decision - he’s had about £14k of treatment so far due to a health issue. I don’t think you’re seriously suggesting we give up our old, sick, expensive dog to a rescue?

I’ll post full expenditure later, I’ll need to dig out my list.

He's not out the job market. He has a job and a potential self employed job.

Take your Bulb account off direct debit asap, and simply pay monthly for your usage.

Good thing about a Victorian house is fireplaces. Invest in logs and smokeless fuel (and a chimney sweep).

I recently moved to a new property with a Bulb account and they were more expensive than my existing provider Octopus so I binned them.

The OPs mortgages isn't taking up the other 3/4 of their earnings.

Not being able to afford the direct debit isn't the same as not being able to pay for your usage.

How many times does that need stating?

Sorry I’ve just read that you don’t - it’s really hard to tell where all your money is going without a full budget breakdown

I don't think there's such a thing as a basic 4 bed house. I do also live in a 4 bed, so no judgement, but it is a luxury and our combined salary is £100k but childcare costs. If we were on £60k in our area a 4 bed is out of the question but I appreciate moving house in itself costs money. I personally would downsize asap, having said that it's not easy. Here are some ideas..

You can get a better mobile deal. Im on ID mobile, it's £11 a month, very good terms.
Is £60 per insurance really a non negotiable? Our cat has no pet insurance but has never needed vets. We'll make a payment when needed. My parents were both poor, had no pet insurance but vet costs amounted to much less than what you're paying £600 a year!!!

I don't use a Spotify subscription. I use play YouTube and accept annoying adverts. Though we do have Netflix.

We don't have two holidays a year just one. But if it's important to you, I agree a caravan holiday doesn't cost much so keep it.

As my parents were poor day out costs were minimal, always picnics never cafes, restaurants. We never felt we missed out on that.

Well if you are not prepared to compromise on other aspects of your lifestyle (house, heating, dog) then you are going to have to flex your pension payments.

You're certainly not on your uppers if you are putting £750 a month into a pension.

So if a guy who does all the childcare during the working week plus a couple of nights a week behind a bar and a side hustle for a but extra cash is a cocklodger, what are all the SAHM's who don't WOTH at all? Am I vulvalodger, babysitting my husbands kids in exchange for letting him have sex with me??

£750 a month into a pension is a lot, especially if you can’t afford basics just now. I’d look into reducing that in the short term

Depending on exactly where you are, you could get a foreign student who travels to study in a nearby city (DM did this as she's SE London, they went to Waterloo). Some people give them basics but you basically provide breakfast, dinner and a decent room. DM chose to have them go to Waterloo so they'd be out more than a student at the local (now closed) language school. Some stay for a few months (I think 4-6 months was longest) some stay less.

Don't discount lodgers (even weekdays only) with a baby. Just be very upfront and maybe put them in attic room. DM did this when we were young (though not babies) but I've known other families rent a spare room out when they had baby/toddler and they were just upfront about it. Ex landlady even had one of the lodgers babysitting eventually for her sometimes!

OP - I've read your responses and your fear and frustration comes through. But what you haven't addressed (unless I've missed it) is have you actually taken meter readings and worked out how many kwh you have used multiplied by the unit cost? Bulb may have put your direct debit up but you should only pay for what you use. Without fail I send in a monthly meter reading as I don't have a smart meter so I can see how many kwh I'm using. Forget direct debits, it is what you are using x pence per unit that you should pay for.

I'm ignoring everything else re mortgage, DH, childcare costs etc.

You could use your bedroom or your toddler's bedroom as your office, you wouldn't have to use SIL's

Another Bulb customer here. (for both gas and elec)

I did the same, took meter readings and went in and changed it to the minimum DD, suggested. It wouldn't let me go under this.

They take the piss, as my account is in credit, Martin Lewis advises that's what you want going into winter , but still....

We sat down and looked at every outgoing ( the direct debits and standing orders) and snipped out the waste, dropped Disney, Apple and Netflix subscriptions to shopping around for cheaper pet insurance etc.

Kids clothes and our clothes a mix of new and used clothes from Vinted and charity shops, no new cars, holidays in the garden and allotment !

Middle class people in the first world used to have relatively easy living and the fact is we are heading to an extreme of Victorian like living - very rich and poor everyone else. The illusion of being comfortable was always an interest rate and energy crisis away from being shattered like it is now.

Reduce your pension for now.

You'll be getting 30 free childcare hours in 18 months and you can up it again then.

I do think the answer lies with your DH making something. I know you're rural but how is your internet?

There are lots of jobs out there for home based customer service advisors working on weekends and out of hours for companies like the RAC, Emergency house insurance. Pay is not great £10 an hourish but if he could do 20 hours a week say a long day at weekend and 2 twilight shifts of 7-1 after you get back. Then that is £10K a year that pays roughly your electric bill and for example the food bill.

Our monthly mortgage payments are the same as you and we manage fine on a lower salary and 2 children. You seem to be quite savvy financially so I’m struggling to see what’s going on without a full list of outgoings!

I cancelled my DD with Octopus and pay just for what I use. I give metre readings twice a month and pay off as I go along. So 25 quid then next time 30 etc The app updates really quickly and I never feel overwhelmed by several hundred pounds leaving my account at once. Could you advertise locally for a lodger, Ive had lodgers in past and its quite unusual to go through a letting agent.

Friends with children have lodgers found locally not everyone minds living with kids even if they are still waking.

Agreed re SIL inheritance would be much better placed to buy her a studio in her uni town.

There was a thread on here yesterday where a lot of people to the the poster that she was being unreasonable about getting antsy with her partner for wasting energy.

£470 a month consumption could easily be possible (if not average) for a larger household.

A lot of customers won't have had their monthly DDs reviewed by their suppliers yet, and some that have kicked off when suppliers tried to increase their DD early, preempting the increases.

The £2500 energy cap based on the average user (which will include single people living alone on 1 bedroom flats etc, pulling down the average). Any household with more than two few people in it is likely to be above the 2500 point.

Turn down your heating to 17 degrees. Some plug in hybrids are terribly inefficient, and you might even find it's cheaper to put extra petrol in it than charge it at home.

But brace yourself, because in 2 year's time when your mortgage fix expires, your repayments are going jump massively, maybe even double.

Paying £750 into your pension when you’re ‘terrified’ you can’t afford your electricity bills is a bit stoopid isn’t it, OP?

Your take home is still over 3k plus your husbands small income.

The life you think you are living and your finances just don’t add up.

Yes, he makes very lovely ukuleles and also adds wood burned designs to wooden musical instruments - like tattooing for guitars basically!
One of the attractions of this house was a big double garage which we’ve turned into a wood shop - once DS is older, this is what DH wants to do full time. He currently has more demand than time to fulfil orders but again the problem is the income isn't steady enough to afford childcare and he can’t have a toddler in the wood shop!

Then he needs to put his prices up. Right up. Is he getting a decent wage per hour for his skilled time? . This is likely to only increase demand as people perceive more quality the higher the demand & more expensive. If he gets to the point that his hourly rate to create exceeds that of a teenager babysitter (depends on area but round here £5-8 and hour is considered the going rate), consider an A level student type baby sitter for a couple of hours after school twice a week - you can usually find one with a first aid certificate these days, to play with , read to, do a bit of craft and generally have fun.

Re the nappies - it won't be cheaper to buy Aldi etc as you have already purchased the reusables, washing an average load of washing at 60° is typically 30-40p depending on machine at current prices, which is likely 15-18 nappies. Aldi nappies of sufficient size would cost over 13p each just to buy (not allowing cost of travel to factor in here) .
Instead introduce the potty and trial potty training - as your DH is SAHD he will presumably have time. In the 1950s/60s without modern washing machines this was the norm - see Dr Spock guides. Most were out of nappies by 18 months by day. Will save you there. If child doesn't take to it, leave it a while and revisit a couple of months later, but try catching first wee of the day and bathtime wees, and any poos on their way in the meantime.

Haven't RTFT but childcare does not cost £9.18/hour. We pay £5.30/hour for our 2 year old and we are in an expensive part of the UK. Your husband needs to get a job even if it only works out a few quid/hour. He'll be able to move up the ladder and increase his salary eventually, plus DC then qualifies for 30 free hours when they are 3.