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DH off on holiday with his friends

81 replies

wonder113 · 02/10/2022 12:04

Despite my objection, DH has decided to join his friend's family (a couple with a baby) to go on a 10 day trip abroad.

Childcare-wise I will be able to manage (just about), but I just don't think it is reasonable. He has not travelled for nearly 3 years and said he would like to take that trip with the couple as they are moving abroad meaning we will not be able to see them for a while.

I feel miserable as he blatantly ignored my request not to go.

YAVU - just let him enjoy himself
YANU - he should not have gone

OP posts:

RedHelenB · 02/10/2022 16:05

wonder113 · 02/10/2022 12:23

DCs are 2 and 4. Childcare is do-able as grandparents live round the corner. He wanted us to all go together as a family but my elder DC does not want to miss school and I can't miss work. Instead of missing this trip altogether, he has decided to go on his own with the other family!

Fair enough then, i think you are beinga bit unreasonable. A 4 year old not wanting to miss a bit of school isn't a very good reason not to go and I'm sure you could have sorted work if you really wanted to.


Peashoots · 02/10/2022 16:15

Going away without you and leaving you with the kids is a non issue in my book. I’d have no problem with that.
Tagging along on another family’s family holiday (with their kid?!!) is fucking weird. Is he actually invited or has he invited himself? So so strange.


knittingaddict · 02/10/2022 16:52

I've been on lots of different holidays - women's weekend away, our family with another family, large group holidays, with our adult children and grandchildren. I have never come across anything like you describe op. It's very odd.


Oblomov22 · 02/10/2022 17:43

2 posters @Nursemumma92 , @Herejustforthisone,
have said I have low standards / gutter for thinking it's ok for a Dh to go away. But others also said they wouldn't mind.

And all the assumptions that the other wife doesn't want him there. How do you know that? None of us know whether he was invited by only the Dh or the other Dh and his wife.


PianoHouseBanger · 02/10/2022 18:07

If this holiday was the last chance for quite some time, that I'd get to spend with my friends before they emigrated, then I'd really like to go with them.

If DH claimed the 4 yo didn't want to miss school, and didn't want me to go, but didn't want to come either, then I'd be rethinking a few things.


Nursemumma92 · 02/10/2022 19:09

@Oblomov22 it's not that myself or OP mind if a DH goes away... but to go away and tag on someone else's family holiday, without your own family? For 10 days?
If they are emigrating abroad why not arrange a holiday to go and visit them with the rest of the family in school holidays when OP can get leave and dc4 is not in school?

Just cos it may not be strange for you, the majority on this post have said that they would find it very strange, and I can't imagine any wife would enjoy their DH's friend joining them for 10 whole days on a family holiday. There are many of my DH's friends who I get on very well with but just having them without the rest of their families tag along on my family holiday for that long would not be my idea of a holiday.

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