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Original poster

DH off on holiday with his friends

81 replies

wonder113 · 02/10/2022 12:04

Despite my objection, DH has decided to join his friend's family (a couple with a baby) to go on a 10 day trip abroad.

Childcare-wise I will be able to manage (just about), but I just don't think it is reasonable. He has not travelled for nearly 3 years and said he would like to take that trip with the couple as they are moving abroad meaning we will not be able to see them for a while.

I feel miserable as he blatantly ignored my request not to go.

YAVU - just let him enjoy himself
YANU - he should not have gone

OP posts:
MinnieMountain · 02/10/2022 12:53

You’re definitely not being unreasonable. He’s done it all on his terms and refused to listen to you.

Beelezebub · 02/10/2022 12:54

So he’s going on a family holiday….but with someone else’s family? Wtf?

StClare101 · 02/10/2022 12:54

Why can’t he manage just one of his own children? Martyr much. In fact, send both kids with him. The four year old doesn’t get to dictate your lives.

Goldbar · 02/10/2022 12:55

This is so weird. Is he using annual leave for this, meaning he won't have leave for a family holiday with you and the DC later on?

Have you asked him why he is so keen to be a third wheel in someone else's family holiday?

grayhairdontcare · 02/10/2022 12:55

Don't play the martyr
You can't go but he could and he could also take one of the children.
This whole situation is therefore a non issue.
You just don't want him to go on holiday

MinnieMountain · 02/10/2022 12:56

I’d love to know how OP could actually make her DH take their 2yo. Hide them in his suitcase maybe 🤔

diamondpony80 · 02/10/2022 12:57

Was he (or your family) actually invited, or has he just decide to join this other family on their holiday? Seems a bit strange and imposing. I wouldn't be happy if one of DH's friends decided to just come along with us on a family holiday. I know they'd expect to go out doing their own thing while I was stuck with the kids.

AnyFucker · 02/10/2022 12:57

Who does this ? 😵‍💫

girlmom21 · 02/10/2022 12:57

MinnieMountain · 02/10/2022 12:56

I’d love to know how OP could actually make her DH take their 2yo. Hide them in his suitcase maybe 🤔

Since he suggested the holiday in the first place, he already wanted to take the whole family. Suggesting he takes the 2 year old shouldn't require any force.

Unicorn2022 · 02/10/2022 12:58

Your 4 year old shouldn't get a choice of whether she wants to miss school or not. I'd send him off with both of the kids if you really can't get the time off work. I bet the other couple are gutted he's third wheeling their family holiday.

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 02/10/2022 13:00

I bet my life he’s expecting the woman to watch baby while him and his mate treat it as a lad’s holiday

CheezePleeze · 02/10/2022 13:01

This is weird.

If a parent can't manage their own 2 year old on holiday, you have bigger problems.

Chickychoccyegg · 02/10/2022 13:03

What a weird and inappropriate thing for him to do, will make it very slightly less weird and inappropriate if he takes the toddler.
I would absolutely not be ok about this holiday at all.

Hitchhikingghosts · 02/10/2022 13:07

What sort of holiday is it?

mountainsunsets · 02/10/2022 13:08

wonder113 · 02/10/2022 12:37

Can't take time off work as the nature of my role means I can't take extended time off during term time.

Won't get him to take 2 year old. What's the point? He is not going to be able to manage on his own, and it will 'ruin' his holiday.

If he can't manage a 2yo on his own for 10 days, there's something seriously wrong with him.

Personally, I would stay home with the 4yo and send him off with the 2yo.

roarfeckingroarr · 02/10/2022 13:09

He invited you guys. Im not sure why you listened to a 4 year old's opinion on this. Can't you join them for a bit?

I don't think he's unreasonable.

HermioneKipper · 02/10/2022 13:09

This is so weird. What a selfish thing to do.

Id be reevaluating the whole relationship. Change the locks while he’s away

LemonDrop22 · 02/10/2022 13:10

Wtaf.

Is he their cuckolding bull lol

LemonDrop22 · 02/10/2022 13:10

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 02/10/2022 13:00

I bet my life he’s expecting the woman to watch baby while him and his mate treat it as a lad’s holiday

That's the only other explanation; is she a total doormat?

LemonDrop22 · 02/10/2022 13:11

Your getting 10 days away while he looks after both kids too, right?

YouAreNotBatman · 02/10/2022 13:12

Fucking bizarre!

Why would anyone want to go on holiday with a couple and their kids?

Sounds like absolutely miserable times!!

Purplehonesty2 · 02/10/2022 13:13

That is SO weird and I would not be happy at all if my dh did this.

But then he's not a selfish prick so he wouldn't even think about it!

How is your marriage otherwise ?

WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 02/10/2022 13:16

Suprima · 02/10/2022 12:11

What a fucking weirdo third wheeling like that

why haven’t you been invited?

I’m not trying to be unkind OP- but the fact that he would gatecrash his friends family holiday rather than book a nice b&b/room in the same resort for his wife and child (to make a group holiday out of it) is really showing you how he feels about you and his own family life.

This. ^ Who the fuck tags on to a 10 day holiday with a mate and his wife and child? Confused Especially when he is married with children himself. Odd as fuuuuuk!

Herejustforthisone · 02/10/2022 13:17

So fucking weird. What is he thinking of??

Quartz2208 · 02/10/2022 13:17

If the other couple have a baby him taking the 2 year old would work

Although I imagine the wife isnt that keen either as they are likely to leave her alone

The whole thing is just bizarre