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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that this wedding sounds okay

79 replies

Cornishandpastey · 01/10/2022 19:29

Planning a wedding B&G both mid thirties . Largish families small social circle total guests including 20 children is about 60-70
general plan of the day is to arrive at registry office ( really lovely old building in centre of town overlooking a lake ). Plenty of parking .No posing for photos , the photographer is just going to snap the service and people entering and leaving the building. Then about a 20 minute drive ( some will take their own cars , we’re laying on 3 limos after checking who want to drink / who’d prefer their own car etc.
arrival at converted barn will see them all either able to seat themselves ( little round tables of 4-6 plus seating around the bar. There’s a corner with big chesterfield sofas and a big box of toys and goodies for the kids.
food is served pretty much straight away with a large selection of food from grilled meats to salads, breads , olives , deli type stuff and childrens party food up one end for the littlies.
dJ is playing background music and the tables have storm lanterns and simple posies in jam jars . There’s really lovely fairy lights across the beams but it’s all fairly simple .
4 speeches , 5 minute limit on each , lighthearted , funny and warm - nothing serious .
everyone encouraged to dig into food and chat for a bout an hour. Bar is unlimited and is craft beer , local wine , 1 whiskey and 1 gin and various ‘posh sodas’ .
we have a use or return arrangement with our booze suppliers who are friends .
caterers have a fridge van and will refresh plates as they run out meaning people can graze and take their time.
deserts are just British favourites like apple pie, trifle and chocolate cake with jugs of cream and custard - also local baker we know.
dj plays till 8pm ( service at 3 / arrival at 4:30)
then our band will start around then ( fairly well known chaps from the 70’s my Dad knows) we all get merry and have a boogie , all over about midnight.

Details:first dance is ‘Stand by me’ Ben E King.
my dress and the bridesmaid are ‘country fairy ‘ style , simple cream gowns with flower head bands and bride and groom will arrive to the barn on a cart pulled by Shire horse just to
Add a bit of ‘wow ‘to our pics and go with the country theme.
Band is easy rock / soul stuff.
we have 2 couples and one family travelling over 40 miles so we’ll stick them in the local premier inn for the night .

i feel like this is short , sweet , no standing round starving while photos are done and the kids are well catered for so hopefully will behave…
have I missed anything?
it’s a September wedding so mild but not hot .

OP posts:
EstellaRijnveld · 01/10/2022 19:33

That sounds perfect, I'd love to attend. 😊

mrsmalcolmreynolds · 01/10/2022 19:34

Sounds lovely to me! Only comment is that you may want to consider a bit of structure to who sits where for the meal - although it sounds nice in theory to let people sort themselves out, IME in practice it can make things a bit chaotic and people who are there eg just as a couple and not knowing many others can get left out and feel a bit awkward.

BigglyBee · 01/10/2022 19:36

It sounds lovely.

fortheloveofcheesecake · 01/10/2022 19:37

Sounds perfect! I'd agree with a table plan rather than a free for all but otherwise good. If I got more invites to this kind of wedding, I'd actually want to attend!

ThisIsNotARealAvo · 01/10/2022 19:37

I'd agree about the seating, I like to n it where I'm meant to be at a wedding and wouldn't feel comfortable just sitting anywhere.

alloutoflunchideas · 01/10/2022 19:38

Sounds perfect!

only thing (and this is personal preference) is have some photos of family friends etc in groups as those are my favourite photos from our wedding

WalkingOnSonshine · 01/10/2022 19:39

It sounds really lovely, but yes definitely a table plan. Even if you put something at the bottom to say people are welcome to move about & swap tables after food.

Muddywaters1 · 01/10/2022 19:39

Sounds lovely. Remember and leave some time for photos/groups, and yes a little bit of structure around the food might be good. Are you having food out all the time? If people are eating 4.30-6.30 say, are you planning more food at 9/9.30 to keep everyone going till midnight?

EWAB · 01/10/2022 19:40

Sounds fantastic. I ‘d go!

Only thing that I think you should revise ever do slightly are the photos. I see why people resist a long, formal photo session but it’s an opportunity for an all sibling photo then get their kids in, then sibling spouses. It’s not often a family is all together, all dressed up.

RandomMess · 01/10/2022 19:41

Plan to have some "posed" photos of the B&G and later on family groups etc otherwise you may not end up of any that you like/none of some people at all.

1FootInTheRave · 01/10/2022 19:43

Sounds fantastic.

The shire horses would be my fave bit 🤩

Cherrysherbet · 01/10/2022 19:44

Sounds perfect op

Bobshhh · 01/10/2022 19:44

We had mainly reportage style photography but I'm so so glad we had some choreographed shots, me and my bridesmaid / family would never have been in the same place all together at the same time (even my husband and I barely saw each other) so having planned photos together was really lovely.

CheesesandWines · 01/10/2022 19:45

No I would probably go ahead and cancel that

Cornishandpastey · 01/10/2022 19:46

Muddywaters1 · 01/10/2022 19:39

Sounds lovely. Remember and leave some time for photos/groups, and yes a little bit of structure around the food might be good. Are you having food out all the time? If people are eating 4.30-6.30 say, are you planning more food at 9/9.30 to keep everyone going till midnight?

Yes it’s a buffet that is designed to just be brought out as people eat things up and we’re arranging it so those with dietary needs are tipped off where their bits are and given the opportunity to grab more of that for themselves aswell. I think this is the benefit of it being mostly close family , virtually everyone knows each other so they’ll look after granny and the kids between them . It’s all just a big rustic picnic tbh but I know everyone’s taste so I think I can choose well. Also there are a couple of potential ‘overdrinkers ‘ but I know they’ll go for the spirits and not the barrels and the spirits are being served and policed a bit so hopefully no one will get over sloshed !
im taking on board seating plan suggestions so I might have a look at that too, I did want to make sure their were high chairs for the smallest people so I guess those tables will already have families assigned .

OP posts:
QuiltedHippo · 01/10/2022 19:47

Sounds lovely!

Just have a seating plan - some extra bar seating for mingling is perfect but people hate not knowing where to sit. I was at a relaxed, artsy wedding this summer about the size of yours and the lack of a seating plan had everyone flapping about.

If you're looking to save money and keep things simple by removing a vendor then nix the dj, Spotify playlist is fine for background music

Marmite27 · 01/10/2022 19:47

Sounds lovely, but have some some family group photos. DH’s dad passed away not long after our wedding and the photo I have with us, him and MIL and my parents is so precious.

mondaytosunday · 01/10/2022 19:48

Depending on the age of the kids, I'd consider getting a couple babysitters to mind them and make sure they are behaving and not having a food fight/crying/bored. That way their parents will be able to relax and enjoy themselves.

ChampagneCamping · 01/10/2022 19:49

I wish I’d put all my husbands cousins together with his siblings. All my cousins together with my siblings. My parents together with their siblings. My husbands parents with their siblings. Kept friendship groups together. They all gravitated that way anyway

TwoCoffeesPlease · 01/10/2022 19:52

Sounds lovely apart from the seating. People like to be told where to sit and I’m concerned about the people that will get “left” to sit at the bar feeling like there weren’t enough real spaces

RoseAndRose · 01/10/2022 19:52

Sounds lovely, apart from the lack of a seating plan. Tell people they're welcome to table hop and rearrange themselves, but start everyone off with a seat.

Cornishandpastey · 01/10/2022 19:55

mondaytosunday · 01/10/2022 19:48

Depending on the age of the kids, I'd consider getting a couple babysitters to mind them and make sure they are behaving and not having a food fight/crying/bored. That way their parents will be able to relax and enjoy themselves.

That’s a good idea! Our babysitter would do that . She’s great with little ones and had them all involved in games and stuff at DS’s birthday bash so she’s met most of them already. I think if I know my youngest and 2 of his cousins they’ll gorge on carbs and be asleep on the couches by 9:30 anyway 😂

OP posts:
SnackSizeRaisin · 01/10/2022 19:58

Agree with seating plan, put people who know each other together. Then I don't think you mentioned the timings. If it's earlier than about 5 when you have the buffet, I think you will need more food later on in the evening. Other than that it sounds perfect! How will people who came by limo get back to town, will their cars be ok left in town? Will most people drive home at the end? Or is there accommodation close by? I like a wedding venue that offers on site camping but obviously that won't appeal to all!

Bairnsmum05 · 01/10/2022 19:59

Sounds so nice. P.s where is the vodka? 🤣

Cornishandpastey · 01/10/2022 20:00

Thanks everyone! It sounds like I just need to add a seating plan and try to get some more photos in then? I’m worried the weather will let me down so perhaps we could dress a bit of wall in the barn with flowers or something and get them to pose there briefly before their food? Then there’ll be lots of candid snaps in the evening. They’re all pretty good fun there’ll be plenty up dancing and I also want sleeping babies and bopping grannies rather than just us and my cousins on the lash :)
they’re farming stock so they can handle their booze providing they’re well fed.

OP posts:
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