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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that this wedding sounds okay

79 replies

Cornishandpastey · 01/10/2022 19:29

Planning a wedding B&G both mid thirties . Largish families small social circle total guests including 20 children is about 60-70
general plan of the day is to arrive at registry office ( really lovely old building in centre of town overlooking a lake ). Plenty of parking .No posing for photos , the photographer is just going to snap the service and people entering and leaving the building. Then about a 20 minute drive ( some will take their own cars , we’re laying on 3 limos after checking who want to drink / who’d prefer their own car etc.
arrival at converted barn will see them all either able to seat themselves ( little round tables of 4-6 plus seating around the bar. There’s a corner with big chesterfield sofas and a big box of toys and goodies for the kids.
food is served pretty much straight away with a large selection of food from grilled meats to salads, breads , olives , deli type stuff and childrens party food up one end for the littlies.
dJ is playing background music and the tables have storm lanterns and simple posies in jam jars . There’s really lovely fairy lights across the beams but it’s all fairly simple .
4 speeches , 5 minute limit on each , lighthearted , funny and warm - nothing serious .
everyone encouraged to dig into food and chat for a bout an hour. Bar is unlimited and is craft beer , local wine , 1 whiskey and 1 gin and various ‘posh sodas’ .
we have a use or return arrangement with our booze suppliers who are friends .
caterers have a fridge van and will refresh plates as they run out meaning people can graze and take their time.
deserts are just British favourites like apple pie, trifle and chocolate cake with jugs of cream and custard - also local baker we know.
dj plays till 8pm ( service at 3 / arrival at 4:30)
then our band will start around then ( fairly well known chaps from the 70’s my Dad knows) we all get merry and have a boogie , all over about midnight.

Details:first dance is ‘Stand by me’ Ben E King.
my dress and the bridesmaid are ‘country fairy ‘ style , simple cream gowns with flower head bands and bride and groom will arrive to the barn on a cart pulled by Shire horse just to
Add a bit of ‘wow ‘to our pics and go with the country theme.
Band is easy rock / soul stuff.
we have 2 couples and one family travelling over 40 miles so we’ll stick them in the local premier inn for the night .

i feel like this is short , sweet , no standing round starving while photos are done and the kids are well catered for so hopefully will behave…
have I missed anything?
it’s a September wedding so mild but not hot .

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Cornishandpastey · 01/10/2022 20:05

Those who want to drink are being asked not to drive there to start with hence the limos . All the families with small kids have one sober parent anyway. We’ve checked individually with each household . Someone’s bound to go off piste but we aren’t in the sticks too bad we can get taxis out easy enough.
premier inn family and couples will be car sharing because they’re likely to bail early and know each other relatively well. Again that’s £16 a cab if plans change .

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TidyDancer · 01/10/2022 20:06

That all sounds lovely, I would definitely echo what others have said about the seating plan and photography. Maybe consider adding vodka to your list of spirits as well?

Flangelasashes · 01/10/2022 20:09

I HATE weddings with a passion and always avoid when I can but this sounds absolutely perfect. You have thought of everything! I hope you have an absolutely wonderful day!

Youdoyoutoday · 01/10/2022 20:10

Sounds lovely but I would allow time for photos, I allowed 1 hour for our group photos and I provided a list of what smaller groups I wanted too and it was done in half an hour, my photographers were on the ball!! We did all our couple photos before the wedding so as not to keep people waiting around and it worked.
The location sounds beautiful so make the most of it and people expect to hang about for a bit for photos. It's when the bride and groom sod off for hours leaving their guests in the middle of nowhere with no food and drink that people don't like!
Have a lovely day!

budgiegirl · 01/10/2022 20:11

It all sounds lovely - but I agree, do some simple group photos/photos of just you and your DH. Just tell your photographer what you want, and how long you want it to take.

Cornishandpastey · 01/10/2022 20:14

Bairnsmum05 · 01/10/2022 19:59

Sounds so nice. P.s where is the vodka? 🤣

It’s that you sis? 😂

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bowchicawowwow · 01/10/2022 20:14

Sounds like a lovely wedding to me. I'd maybe consider a few family group shots - these pictures seem unnecessary at the time but become more precious as the years roll by.

Also seating plans are a really good idea just for the meal time / buffet, I've been to a few big family occasions where a small group make a claim on a massive table and then other groups end up being split up. Not normally a problem after the drink starts going but it can make some people feel awkward at the beginning

MintyCedricHereWeGoAgain · 01/10/2022 20:18

Sounds bloody marvellous.

Don't know what you're planning for the kids or what the age range is, but we went to a wedding once where the kids got given party bags to occupy themselves during the reception. Party Delights is great for being able to buy individual age appropriate bits and bobs rather than massive packs of tat.

But honestly it sounds like my dream wedding, either as a guest or participants! Hope you have a fab time.

MuchuseasaChocolateTeapot · 01/10/2022 20:21

It all sounds lovely and so relaxed. I hope you have a beautiful day

PurplRainDancer · 01/10/2022 20:22

Sounds lovely

nicknamehelp · 01/10/2022 20:26

Photo booth in a corner always goes down well. Or a Polaroid camera and people take photo and put in a book with a message.

ThirtyThreeTrees · 01/10/2022 20:37

Sounds lovely and sorry if this sounds strange but if I got that invite that first thing that would come to mind is I hope there are decent toilets. It's my usual concern for non traditional venues!

Awoooga · 01/10/2022 20:45

Sounds lovely!

teezletangler · 01/10/2022 20:55

I agree re: seating plan (I've been to one wedding without a plan and it was so stressful) and more posed photos! Sounds lovely, enjoy your day.

Hagpie · 01/10/2022 21:02

Sounds wonderful OP I bet your guests are going to have a lovely time.

Cornishandpastey · 01/10/2022 21:03

ThirtyThreeTrees · 01/10/2022 20:37

Sounds lovely and sorry if this sounds strange but if I got that invite that first thing that would come to mind is I hope there are decent toilets. It's my usual concern for non traditional venues!

Yeah there’s proper toilets , ones huge with a babe change area. My uncle started a project to build a small holiday park. This was the clubhouse so was designed for families to dine in , he also put in a pool in aswell in the barn next door and then got into legal bother with locals objecting so the chalets couldn’t go up so it’s ended up as a village hall type enterprise instead. We’re staying over with the kids to nurse our hangovers in the hot tub but he couldn’t have anyone else stay over for space reasons. My mum and stepmum run a business on the farm together to do with their animal obsession and that’s how they met the brewery and bakery people so we’re just really lucky to be able to have all this on family and friend rates and know that we can trust everyone to keep their promises .

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Cornishandpastey · 01/10/2022 21:06

Hagpie · 01/10/2022 21:02

Sounds wonderful OP I bet your guests are going to have a lovely time.

I hope so . I just want it memorable for the right reasons and without sounding macabre some of our folk are getting on in years so I did plan it around them a bit , I wanted them to have the best time and get to enjoy their grandkids running about rather than some stuffy formal thing where no one wants to let the children play . Just in case they don’t see many more weddings . It’s about making memories isn’t it ?

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Peach27 · 01/10/2022 21:09

Sounds lovely! Love the horse and cart idea, would echo I think you need to put some food on at about 9/10pm could maybe do cold stuff or get a (nice) chip van in if you want to send the caterers away. I’ve never been to a wedding where there hasn’t been evening food and I think people expect it

Cornishandpastey · 01/10/2022 21:10

Thank you. ‘Relaxed’ was definitely one of the key words when I started planning all this. My family are the nicest bunch of crazy people and they’d not judge anything we did but it needed to be special and easy for the older people and I definitely wanted it to be ‘ours’ and reflect us as a couple .

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Cassillero · 01/10/2022 21:10

I really really want to come. Almost tempted to get married for again thinking about your wedding. Third times a charm and all that 🤣

Lcb123 · 01/10/2022 21:11

I’d definitely suggest a seating plan, and do some organised photos. I’m so pleased we took the time to do organised photos at ours. Otherwise sounds great!

GreenManalishi · 01/10/2022 21:11

Sound lush, nothing to add other than be prepared for a mass exodus of kids and parents in the evening, depending on their ages, and something to soak up the booze about 10/11pm. Have fun!

Cornishandpastey · 01/10/2022 21:11

Cassillero · 01/10/2022 21:10

I really really want to come. Almost tempted to get married for again thinking about your wedding. Third times a charm and all that 🤣

Oh ! That’s such a sweet thing to say, why not? We only live once !

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RedRed20 · 01/10/2022 21:22

Sounds lovely, agree with others about seating plan.

you could maybe get rid of the DJ and just have a playlist from Spotify.

we wanted to keep posted photos to a minimum so just had a big group one, one with just our immediate families and a few of just us.

Cornishandpastey · 01/10/2022 21:34

RedRed20 · 01/10/2022 21:22

Sounds lovely, agree with others about seating plan.

you could maybe get rid of the DJ and just have a playlist from Spotify.

we wanted to keep posted photos to a minimum so just had a big group one, one with just our immediate families and a few of just us.

We’re stuck with the DJ he’s my brothers boyfriend 😂 thankfully he’s actually very good and does regular clubs and things. He’s also quite witty so I don’t mind him welcoming everyone in and cracking the odd joke to warm things up. He’s adorable. I also can’t be sure how the band are doing their set list or their finish time so I’d like DJ about to take over when they’re done . I’m definitely taking advice from all these lovely posters about paying more attention to photos and seating though .

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