Who is being unreasonable here?

[bossorworker1]

I am A or B- I don't want to say which do it doesn't skew answers. I've not included salaries as a stealth boast - just for context in terms of level of post.

A - senior manager in a business support function line managed by B. Started £75k role in late January- job is approx 1.5 hour commute each way from A's home. Notice in first year is 1 month, after that it's 3 months. Enjoying the job, excellent feedback and has consistently fed back how committed they are to role/organisation. Resigned on Friday for a new role closer to home - about 25 minutes- on a little bit more money. Has given 1 month notice including a week of which they are in a precooked holiday. A says they didn't aim to mislead - but the job came up and they went for it. Feels that B has taken the resignation personally.

B - A's line manager - senior senior manager. Really pleased with A's work. Received resignation on Friday. Upset, disappointed and a bit pissed off that A has been lying about commitment to role as would have taken another candidate on if it had been known they would leave so soon after joining. Has offered A payrise and flexible working to stay but A still wants to go. Has fed back to A that the move is career limiting due to changing sectors and that they do feel personally let down.

Who is unreasonable here?

This.

Although B doesn't change A, so B needs to accept that this is business and move on (and reflect on why this is the 4th person in this role in 3 years).

24 miles. I've never travelled that way before so had no idea the pinch points would be that bad.

B , A owes B nothing its jobs and not personal

I think B is being unreasonable in taking it all so personally. Lots of companies are having to offer excellent packages in order to recruit in certain industries and I think there's a lot of previously content people having their heads turned. It is all business as so many others have pointed out.

Ah, 24 miles isn’t that far. I can see why you hadn’t realised it would take so long. I did that distance as well for a couple of years. It was taking me about 45 minutes (a combo of city, motorway and country driving).

Even if you could get 80k working nearer home?

Well no, of course I’d take the money and the shorter commute! 💰

Unless it was truly disastrous for my career, as B warns. Lots of factors in play.

B isn't taking it personally - B doesn't actually give a shit about A. B is just thinking of themselves and how annoying it will be to have to go through the process of recruiting and training another person again. That's life.

Why not stay then given you could have extra money and flexible working and not have the inconvenience of a new job?

Because of the commute

Yep and irrelevant anyway. A will leave and B will rehire upset or not.

B is being unreasonable.

A has done nothing wrong. They have worked well and acted professionally. They had no way to predict whether thiscother opportunity would come off, and if it hadn't they would have continued working well and happily in this job. The fact that B wouldn't have appointed them if they had known A was looking elsewhere too is proof that A dif the right thing, as if the other opportunity hadn't come off they would be unemployed. A iscthe only one responsible for looking out for A's best interests and they have done so without breaking contract or being unprofessional.

B is unreasonable, and should be thinking more about why they haven't been able to retain anyone in the role for more than 10 mins. It's a job, you aren't an indentured slave and you are free to move around if you find it doesn't suit.

Last year I moved from a job after 4 months, they were so awful to me that I started looking after 2 weeks in the role. Their reaction confirmed I did the right thing.

So would I have if I hadn't been offered £82k much closer to my house saving me at least £300 a month on tip in fuel and early morning childcare

But doesn't flexible working mean wfh so the commute is no longer such an issue?

No, I was offered 1 day from home and to change my hours to 10-4 in the office +2 hours at home each day so I could avoid rush hour. To be fair, I would have taken them up on it if I didn't have an offer in hand.

Neither of them.
A is doing what is right for them which is fine. It's a job.

B is pissed off that they now have to recruit again. Fair enough. It's a hassle.

If you really really need someone to be in the wrong then I'd say B for taking it personally and thinking A owes them anything.

OP, the flexi working sounds good on paper but can you imagine having to log on from home for another 2 hours? Not when you have a better offer. Good luck!

If you are the 4th person in 3 years to quit then B is doing something very wrong.

The role needs to be more attractive.

B is U to think that A was lying about their commitment. It’s just a job, not a vocation.

B is BA. A doesn't owe an employer, or line manager, anything.

Congratulations on the new job, OP!

Congratulations on the new job.

DH also works 25 miles from home. Since WFH full-time, he and everyone else have refused to go back to the old way, even though management are pushing for it. On a clear run (mainly motorways) it's 20 minutes. But some days it can be over an hour each way due to the pinch points you mentioned. When the DC were small he might not see them some days as he had to be out early and back late just to avoid the pinch points and also be able to park. The balance is much better now.

At the same time I also worked 25 miles (non mororways). Took me a minimum of an hour and cost me a fortune in fuel and breakfast club. Changed to one 10 minutes away a month before lockdown. Life changing.

Isn't the definition of taking it personally, only thinking about them self.