Who is being unreasonable here?

[bossorworker1]

I am A or B- I don't want to say which do it doesn't skew answers. I've not included salaries as a stealth boast - just for context in terms of level of post.

A - senior manager in a business support function line managed by B. Started £75k role in late January- job is approx 1.5 hour commute each way from A's home. Notice in first year is 1 month, after that it's 3 months. Enjoying the job, excellent feedback and has consistently fed back how committed they are to role/organisation. Resigned on Friday for a new role closer to home - about 25 minutes- on a little bit more money. Has given 1 month notice including a week of which they are in a precooked holiday. A says they didn't aim to mislead - but the job came up and they went for it. Feels that B has taken the resignation personally.

B - A's line manager - senior senior manager. Really pleased with A's work. Received resignation on Friday. Upset, disappointed and a bit pissed off that A has been lying about commitment to role as would have taken another candidate on if it had been known they would leave so soon after joining. Has offered A payrise and flexible working to stay but A still wants to go. Has fed back to A that the move is career limiting due to changing sectors and that they do feel personally let down.

Who is unreasonable here?

Nobody is being unreasonable. A is entitled to look after their personal best interests. B is understandably disappointed and a bit cheesed off. But it's just life.

Sorry, I'm going add - because I forgot, not a drop feed!

A is the fourth person in this role in 3 years. Was asked multiple times through recruitment process and after about commitment and the need for stability in the team.

B. Business is business's. I don't blame A for wanting a job that's closer to home

Makes zero difference.

b should try working in social care management. She’d pass out.

B is unreasonable to take it personally.

B is also a bit daft to think anyone is going to want to spend 3 hours a day commuting on a long term basis and not jump at the chance to get a more local job.

The moment most companies have a restructure, relocation or merger etc then they almost always show they have absolutely no loyalty to any individual employees, no matter how good at their role or dedicated.

If your location, role, face no longer fits you're out without a second glance.

A needs to do what's right for them. 3 hours of commuting a day is a lot do their quality of life will most likely improve with being closer to work.

B is unreasonable to be treating this as anything other than business. It's not personal. It's understandable that B feels fed up having to recruit and train again but that's how business works.

B. It’s a job not a relationship. People can resign at anytime and it doesn’t mean she wasn’t committed to the job at the time, but a better offer has come up. You can’t take resignations from staff personally.

B. If the business was restructuring and needed to make A redundant the business would do it in a shot. It's business. A has to make decisions based on what's right for them.

The moment most companies have a restructure, relocation or merger etc then they almost always show they have absolutely no loyalty to any individual employees, no matter how good at their role or dedicated

Absolutely agree

A got a better offer. B needs to make sure their offer is just as attractive. If A's role has seen four people come and go in quick succession, then B is the common denominator and should be looking into that a bit more.

So, you are B then. Obviously B, because you now say this is the 4th person in the role. If you are getting through this many people, something must be wrong somewhere

@bossorworker1

100% B.

they could have done more a lot for if A going would be such a loss.

Neither is unreasonable. It's business. People leave, and people get frustrated when people leave.

B should be looking at the role of A more in depth to question why people are leaving it so quickly.

4th person in the role in 3 years, hmm that sounds as if the company is not that great to work for or B is not spot on when engaging staff.
However, neither of them is being unreasonable. A saw an opportunity and took it, B is being unprofessional by taking this resignation personally, but should definitely do a lessons learned exercise prior to recruiting "C".
I do think it is unreasonable to expect people to commute for 3 hours every day (or even 1.5 hours).
Maximum commute for me is 30 minutes each way, by car, which is sufficient time in the morning to gear myself up, listen to the radio and do something more physical than sitting in front of a screen und enough time after work to unwind in peace. Neither of these things are possible on public transport.

Why is anyone unreasonable people change / circumstances change . How can anyone possibly foresee anything and say you would recruit someone else , absolute absurd comment. Not unreasonable to be annoyed but unreasonable to think that people stay in jobs and that if they get another opportunity you take it personally.

No one is unreasonable.

A is entitled to resign.
B is entitled to feel annoyed about it.

I think you’re B and I think you’ve overstepped if you’ve told A you feel personally let down 😬 even if you do (and I can understand why), A hasn’t done anything personal to you. You don’t necessarily know what’s happening in her home life that means that extra 2 hours back a day could be a godsend. Employees have to look after themselves, as businesses (not people) will always look after the business first - that’s just the way it is 🤷‍♀️

Nobody is unreasonable, but the company might want to rethink the job as the turnover rate is high which says more about the company than the individual.

It's understandable for B to be disappointed. But to feel A was 'lying' and telling them it's a shit career move is a tad OTT.

It's a job. Life happens. You don't sign over your life and soul loyalty when you a join a company.

So you're B then.

Doesn’t impact peoples feelings around it. A was telling the truth when they said they were committed. Things change/

Stoll don’t think B is wrong thoughts

Though B and the company need to look at what the issue is and why they can’t get stability.

"A is the fourth person in this role in 3 years."

I agree that flexible working and better pay needs to be considered as standard. There's a reason why people are leaving.

Anyone is entitled to resign from a job at any point, for any reason, it's the nature of it surely. A is not unreasonable for opting for a shorter commmute, or a salary increase. B is not unreasonable for being a little fed up of recruiting.

Perhaps B needs to think about why they've recruited so many times and why people aren't staying?

B clearly (which is obviously you).

You need to consider why people are leaving so quickly. There is a common denominator.

Why would they tell A that? Did A ask?

Anyway that should be telling B something is up with the job and they aren't matching their competitors offer. Or they don't like working for B.