To want to message my exes wife over This or is it harassment ?

[inthedarkx]

So my 16 year old has just text me at her dads and wife house that her son ( not my exes) has gone to his mum ( my 16 year old overheard) that he said to his mum G ( my son) has diseased fingers. And his mum didn't do anything!! My daughter said she feels like crying that my son is being insulted in that way. And his mum doesn't seem bothered. To me it seems like this kid has overheard my ex and his wife slagging off my parenting in front of her son ( they always comment how bad parent I am) and the son is now picking up on it and laughing with his mum that my child has 'diseased fingers'
This kid we are talking about is around 9/10 not sure exact age. If I tell my ex he will just ignore it and if my daughter tells him he will ignore it, so I want to message the mum as I'm sad my son has been spoke About to her in this manner and didn't even punish her son for bullying! My daughter feels like crying after hearing that!!

This is fairly baffling but why on earth isn’t anyone talking to your ex about it?

Me and my 16 year old has mentioned to my ex about him being nasty to our son before but he just says 'I'll have a word' but he still is nasty about my son. My son is sweet, he's only 6 my son just wants to play and he would never do anything to annoy the 9 year old but this 9'year old speaks negative about my son all
The time but who can blame him when his mum and my ex are alway talking about me in the house about how bad mum I am

I couldn't imagine talking bad about my exes to my husband, it say more about me than them.
Obviously we don't know you, but in what ways are they implying you're a bad mum?

Your daughter needs to stop texting you and speak to her dad.
This won't end well if you text the wife.
I couldn't get worked up about this. Sorry.

@Starsinyoureyes13 they are constantly saying I send my
Kids in stained clothes . My ex says my toddlers clothes are not up to standard
He bullied me tonight because my toddlers clothes are not how he likes them saying his wife washed clothes proper and I don't know how to. He makes me feel like utter crap and now her kids are making my
Kids feel like crap

If your ex is unable to keep your children in a comfortable safe environment I'd stop him having them.

Disease fingers is mean in a child's mind, he is making your children feel unwelcome.

I wouldn't put them through this.

Wait until they're home and then text your ex directly.

These accusations Don't sound serious.
Some drivel from a child about diseased fingers (roll your eyes) and a suggestion that their standards are "higher".

Dont defend yourself (unless you need to legally of course).

So they think they clean clothes better
What an achievement.
Let them have it!

Also tell ex to buy their clothes for the DC when at his home if he has an issue with your laundry skills.

He sounds like a waster putting the mother of his DC down and making his Dc feel inferior.

The child is Only nine years old, kids that Age say those sort of things, the ex wife was Right not to be bothered because she probably wasn’t listening/ ignoring him
It’s not like she said anything to him in return about your other sons fingers
Maybe tell your daughter to tell him that he shouldn’t be unkind about other children
if u Text the ex-wife it will look like your daughter has been slagging her off which will cause tension in the household so just leave it

Your 6 year old has never done anything ever to annoy the nine year old? Seems unlikely. 6 year olds are super annoying to begin with.

Also U could tell your ex you’re gonna stop sending your son there if there are going to slag you off all day in front of him is it makes your six-year-old unhappy and uncomfortable .. Seems like it’s upsetting you too
dont send him any more Until you have been assured that the nine-year-old has been spoken to around bullying and you have evidence of this, ie your daughter being present
In regards to how often you wash your clothes u could Remind your ex that He was happy to lay down with you at one point.. Just ignore him. Hope he is paying maintenance
For your kids

Maybe tell your daughter to tell him that he shouldn’t be unkind about other children.
^Your daughter needs to stop texting you and speak to her dad.^

It is not the daughters responsibility she has a right to contact her DM.

If anyone mocked my 6y.o calling him a baby for getting upset in an uncomfortable environment I'd be livid.

The adults in the home need to teach the 9 y.o some empathy.

I don’t get it. The 6 year old and the 16 year old are his and your kids, but the 9 year old isn’t yours. Am I being thick?

The 9 year old belongs to the ex husband’s new wife.

@SergeiL 9 y.o is new partners child.
It's in the OP.

And who is the toddler?

Apologies new wife not partner.

I get who the 9 year old is. But why are the 16 year old, the 6 year old and the toddler all there? Are they all his kids?

So your kid and his step brother have been shitty to each other and then his step moms being a knob? Sounds like everyone needs to grow up.
OP did not say the 6 y.o was being shitty.
By the sounds of it he is a sweetheart child who is being mocked in his father's home by a 9 y.o who isn't being corrected for his behaviour.

Oh sorry. So the 9 year old isn’t his. But the rest are. Got it! It’s been a long week!

So it sounds like a big mess but honestly 9 year olds and 6 year olds are all just a bit silly and 16 year olds pretty dramatic. If there was diseased fingers going on, I might react but otherwise, would just be tempted to ignore.

SergeiL What toddler?.

@EmeraldShamrock1 this toddler:

@Starsinyoureyes13 they are constantly saying I send my
Kids in stained clothes . My ex says my toddlers clothes are not up to standard

He bullied me tonight because my toddlers clothes are not how he likes them saying his wife washed clothes proper and I don't know how to.

If there was diseased fingers going on, I might react but otherwise, would just be tempted to ignore.

Have you read the thread at all

OP has been criticised by ex and new wife over the cleanliness of the DC.

OP feels they openly discussed her DC not being clean

9 y.o is calling 6 y.o disease finger's, most likely he overheard parents discussing the DC as dirty DC.

Teenager thinks her Dad & new family say she is smelly as he has said it to DM.

She overheard 9 y.o and DM ignored it confirmation they think she is smelly.

Apple/tree.

Bastards.

I can’t work out who is who,who is a partner of who, who is an ex of who, which child belongs to which parent. Diagram please.

OP has at least 3 children the toddler the 6yo and the 16yo.
The 6yo and the 16yo are shared with the ex.
The step mum has her own 9yo.

The 9yo says nasty things about the 6yo sm doesnt pull him up on this. 16yo hears gets upset phones op.

The ex puts the boot in at drop off/pick up about how wonderful sm is and how great a house keeper she is.

Honestly I would let the 16yo choose whether she wants to go or not and keep the 6yo home if he is miserable at his dads