Moving Theatre Seats

[Sorrythatsjustmybrain]

Okay I'm prepared to be flamed but otherwise I'm going to be thinking about for the rest of time, so I need some opinions!

Went to the theatre the other day, and noticed the seats were really squashed together (not my specific AIBU but a good topic itself!).

I sat next to a lady and we were immediately touching. There were quite a few empty seats as it was not a well known show. The lady seemed friendly enough and I said if no one sat next to us on the other side, we'd move up to give the two couples more room. She agreed and laughed - all fine!

During the interval I realised that next to that couple were 4 empty seats, whereas on the other side of us all seats were full and again my DP was sat basically on top of the poor woman next to him. The lady went to the toilets and I asked her husband if he would move up a couple of seats so we could spread out and all have a bit more room. He point blank refused. I asked him why and he said "because I don't want to"... I explained that if they just moved up at least one seat it would mean his wife would also have more space so it would benefit them. He started shouting at me that he wasn't moving, so I said I'm not sure why you're so entitled about a seat and left him to it.
His wife then came back and also started shouting at me that if I wasn't happy I should move. I said I am happy, I just thought it would be nice for us all to spread out and it would benefit her. She then started physically elbowing me at which point I shouted at her to stop. The pair of them then both started laughing at me saying I should move and that they can't believe I even asked etc. The wife said her husband was tall so couldn't move up, but by that logic he should have been in the back row?! I also didn't understand why she had agreed we would move to then come back and shout because her husband told her I had asked them to move up one. I just asked them to please stop as it's embarrassing.

In the end the show came back on so they stopped talking about me (loud enough to make it obvious) but she kept elbowing me periodically through the rest. Afterwards I just said to my DP let's go because I really couldn't be arsed to argue more with the couple when all I'd done was ask them to move up one. I could see that they started a conversation with the man sat in front of them so now I'm wondering if it was me being the arsehole. There were a few people still sat in their seats through the interval but no one said anything.

AIBU in thinking they could have easily moved up and it wouldn't have caused anyone an issue?!

[WhatLikeItsHard]

So there were 4 empty seats, you could have moved to seats 2 and 3 of those 4 seats, which would have left an empty seat next to you and the couples next to you, and the two empty seats that you'd just vacated, so other people could move down a seat if they wanted to.

I don't understand how it got to shouting at each other. When he said no, you should have just said okay no worries, and moved yourself.

No way would I stay sat somewhere next to someone elbowing me, and my boyfriend would definitely have something to say about it if that happened.

[Sorrythatsjustmybrain]

@AlmostAJillSandwich

I pick dead centre when booking or get there early to get as central in the row as i can at none specific seating movies etc, because i don't like not having a straight on view. 2 seats along can make a quite noticeable difference, so if i was happy with the view i had, i wouldn't want to move. I wouldn't be rude about it or shout/elbow etc if someone asked me to move to fit their party in all together or to leave a gap seat, but i wouldn't say anything more than "sorry, no, i want this seat for the view".

After his initial "no" you were rude to pass further comment to argue your point, however politely worded. If you weren't happy and there were seats to move to, you should have just moved.

Which is a completely reasonable response and I wouldn't have had a problem with that. What I did have a problem with was the immediate shouting at me, and then egging on his wife to do the same.

[CeeceeBloomingdale]

In the theatre you pay for certain seats. Either because you particularly choose that seat or maybe because the price suits. It is not unreasonable to want to sit in the seat you've paid for. It sounds like you didn't take no for an answer and kept pushing it. Maybe they thought you were having a dig at the woman's weight. Maybe they didn't want to move seats as they were a different view or price band. Maybe they didn't want to justify themselves to you as it's none of your business. You were being very unreasonable.

[Abcdefu]

I don't think what you asked was out of the question,I think if someone asked me I'd just move up. But maybe pushing it would put me.off but I'd probably still just move

[America12]

You were pushy you said when he refused to move , you asked him why.
Odd and embarrassing (your behaviour)

[Sorrythatsjustmybrain]

@WhatLikeItsHard

So there were 4 empty seats, you could have moved to seats 2 and 3 of those 4 seats, which would have left an empty seat next to you and the couples next to you, and the two empty seats that you'd just vacated, so other people could move down a seat if they wanted to.

I don't understand how it got to shouting at each other. When he said no, you should have just said okay no worries, and moved yourself.

No way would I stay sat somewhere next to someone elbowing me, and my boyfriend would definitely have something to say about it if that happened.

Yep I should have done this, I just didn't want to get up and squeeze past the couple when they were already like that. My DP offered to swap seats with me but I just said to leave it. Believe it or not I didn't want the argument! I just thought it would be a more comfortable second half for everyone on the row.

[drunkinthebackofthecar]

I am an incredibly regular theatre goer (weekly) and I have never ever heard or seen someone trying to reorganise everyone else’s seating like this. I’m honestly gobsmacked you asked! I would be in total shock if someone asked that. As others have pointed out, many people book specific seats for specific reasons. He did not need to justify himself to you.

I’m also not inclined to completely believe your account of what happened next, given the fact you behaved like this in the first place.

[Sorrythatsjustmybrain]

@drunkinthebackofthecar

I am an incredibly regular theatre goer (weekly) and I have never ever heard or seen someone trying to reorganise everyone else’s seating like this. I’m honestly gobsmacked you asked! I would be in total shock if someone asked that. As others have pointed out, many people book specific seats for specific reasons. He did not need to justify himself to you.

I’m also not inclined to completely believe your account of what happened next, given the fact you behaved like this in the first place.

I also go to the theatre a lot and whilst I know it isn't a normal "thing" for packed our popular shows, this was a small local production with not a lot of tickets sold. It seemed more informal and if I was in their seats I'd have had no issue with someone asking me, especially as we agreed on it beforehand, which I think a lot of people have missed me saying originally.
To be honest I'm surprised the actual theatre didn't put more room between the tickets instead of putting us all on one side.

[Kite22]

I go to the theatre quite a lot too, and frequently attend shows where they are less than half full.
I have never seen or heard of anyone trying to move other people.

I, personally, do move seats quite often. But it has never, ever crossed my mind to try to make other people move. It's just weird.

[WhatLikeItsHard]

I think the fact that your partner sat there like a lemon while you were getting elbowed and shouted at, means that even he thought you were being unreasonable.

[LynetteScavo]

It was the interval and the woman had got to the bathroom, but you didn't want to climb over the man, so just kept pushing for him to move. It's just silly. You could have popped to the loo yourself, come back and just sat in the empty seats.

Also, youd mentioned moving if seats were empty next to you, the other couple hadn't agreed to move, they'd just nodded and smiled.

I try to get through life without speaking to people and it generally works. I'd have just moved myself and not engaged in conversation or shouting.

[Summerfun54321]

Although they were rude which isn’t justifiable, I think they just really wanted you to shut up about moving seats.

[musicforthesoul]

Not unreasonable to ask the first time, unreasonable to not drop it at the first no. That should have been the end of it. Either stay put happily or move yourself.

They shouldn't have been elbowing you either way, though I'm surprised you didn't just elbow them back!

[Womencanlift]

Wow you are being massively unreasonable and a bit of a martyr too

You can move to another seat if you want to but asking someone else to makes you a CF

And if you didn’t like being there after they were annoying you then you could have moved or switched with your DH to make your night more enjoyable

[Badgirlriri]

I’m surprised at peoples reactions. I don’t think it’s an issue to ask someone to move down a seat to spread out.
I wish people would have common sense and do it themselves. Who wants to sit on top of other people?

[anotheronenow]

I voted YANBU because it makes sense to me - I would have done it immediately and probably I would have been thinking about it already. I hate being cramped. I feel the same on planes to be fair, if there's someone in the middle seat next to me, I always wonder why they don't move to an empty aisle... I guess some people are just not comfortable moving.

I was in a window seat once, and I did point out there was an empty aisle seat on our row (in other words, moving over) to someone in the middle seat next to me, after takeoff and the 10k feet announcement, when she could have easily moved, but she said "no, thanks" and the two of us proceeded to squash each other for the next 8 hours - lots of huffing from her when the elderly gentleman on the end of our row was asleep and she kept wanting the toilet. However, the woman from the middle seat in the row in front of us moved to seat I'd pointed out right after I'd suggested it so it's just some people maybe don't like moving, even when it's to their own benefit.

Live and let live. I think YANBU for giving it a go, but a bit YABU for not moving yourself. You say you didn't want to squeeze past them but you could have got up and gone round the back couldn't you?

Also you were really asking them to move up two seats not one, right, so both you and your husband got an empty seat next to you?

Anyway, good thread and before the internet comes down on me for suggesting moving a seat on the plane without asking the flight crew - this is a well known route to me and I see people do it all the time.

[pumpkinfan]

I think you meant well but we're ultimately being a bit bossy/annoying/micromanaging. I'm sure you're very nice otherwise and you're getting a hard time of it on here. But it sounds like you chose the wrong couple to try to manage - if they started shouting at and elbowing you, they were clearly loons. So yes YABU but not quite as U as them.

[surreygirl1987]

The whole thing sounds bizarre but yes you were being very unreasonable. Why on earth did you expect other people to move for your benefit, when you could have just taken the empty seats yourself? Then you had the audacity to call HIM entitled?!

[StoneofDestiny]

Wondering what theatre it was were you were so close. A full house would have meant no free seats to move to - sounds like theatre isn't for you.

[threegoodthings]

All this shouting during the interval and no staff member came to intervene? Hmm.

[TheWheeledAvenger]

You shouldn't move without asking the usher. 9 times out of 10 they'll say it's fine, but you never know if seats are being held back for some reason, or if someone will be arriving late or at the interval.

I was recently at the opera, side slips. Two rows of seats. Back row extremely squished. Entire segment of the front row empty! Someone moved to the front row. Turns out that's where the performers sit during certain scenes! Red faces all round!

I've also moved to a new seat and had to move back because someone came late and been lectured at by the usher not to move seats. Perhaps the man had a similar experience.

don't think it was bossy to simply ask if someone minded moving up.
But you didn't "simply ask", you asked, he said no, and you picked a fight with him and refused to take no for an answer.

[TheWheeledAvenger]

What I did have a problem with was the immediate shouting at me, and then egging on his wife to do the same.

Err, that completely contradicts what you said in your OP?

if I was in their seats I'd have had no issue with someone asking me

But he didn't take issue with someone asking him. You asked, he politely said no.

He didn't take issue until you repeatedly argued with him and refused to take no for an answer.

[Novum]

Ii don't see how it would benefit 6 other people if he moved one seat? So far as I can see, it would only benefit his wife and you.

[Novum]

If you and your husband had moved into the empty seats at the point when the man said no, it would have saved an awful lot of aggravation.

[Boxowine]

Do you also do this when you fly, OP?