To ask if you think about the person at the other end before making a complaint?

[Ladybug9]

Just wondering really. I work in an industry where mental health of staff takes a serious knock, regularly and we are expected to be perfect. The most capable and wonderful people all eventually suffer with stress and get overwhelmed. So much is expected of us, days are so long and work life balance is non existent. We have constant inputs on looking after our own mental health and how to notice of your colleagues are struggling because people do completely break, it's really not uncommon and actually I know more colleagues who have had severe mh issues than those that haven't. After these inputs, you're expected to get back to work and the wellbeing advice is text book and rubbish. Given the nature of the work, it isn't possible to tell the people who we work for ( all walks of life in the public ) when someone hasn't updated them because they've been off with stress for example, it's just not appropriate. I'm fortunate in that I did have a really bad time with my mental health in the past but happen to be on a good team which has got me back to feeling good again, but I've noticed lately that so many of my colleagues are either not working or are really unwell and I really think the main contributing factor to the stress isn't so much the work itself, it's that we cannot be honest with people. Everything is audited and it's not okay to say 'sorry I haven't updated you/done this/called you back, I'm really struggling at the moment and I'm doing my best', it's just not professional. I was wondering if this is how lots of professionals feel, especially those in the NHS, law, teaching, housing etc who are constantly complained at / about or if its unique to where I work? What is the answer? Does anyone else in this position have extra empathy for those that are in those roles? I like to think I do. My nan recently had a really late GP appointment. She followed in a rude, aggressive woman who was leaving her appointment and walked out saying how how NHS is on its he arse, she's going to complain. The poor young girl who saw her was so apologetic and seemed relieved that someone wasn't shouting at her. It's not her fault is it? I bet she didn't study for all that time to do a crap job. I cannot understand this complaint mentality or how people are so removed from realising that services do their best but aren't miracle workers. I don't work in the NHS by the way & I don't believe we should accept rubbish service all the time, but I do think there's a real lack of insight into the pressures people are under at work nowadays and a massive sense from each individual person that they're the only one who matters and the person they're shouting at / complaining about/ generally being unpleasant to must just be lazy, never broken or just not coping. Genuinely interested to hear all opinions on this and your own experiences...

Private sector industries get this as well. I am a customer = I pay your wages. Many employees are also customers of their employer, the temptation to point this out sadly has to be resisted.

I totally feel for you OP it must be horrible when people are steaming angry and give no thought for your feelings. If I am genuinely steaming angry I always make it clear to the person that I talk to that while I am going to be very negative about the company and that I am angry, none of that is directed at them, and that I appreciate it is nothing whatsoever to do with them personally. And then I try to stay really cordial while also trying my best to also laser in on the problem.

I complain when when children don't receive the support they desperately need in school, when emails go unanswered for weeks etc, when LAs don't follow the law. I have also written to my MP. This is standard for many people in the same situation. There is no other way to be heard.
I absolutely know it's not the case officers fault and they must be having a bad time at work (as turnover is high!) but without complaining I would not be advocating for my child and just accepting a terrible system which is not working in the best interests of those it should serve. Writing to my MP is in the hope something will change and improve. That benefits employees too.
I do not think I have ever been personal and have never been abusive to anyone. I have complained about emails being ignored for weeks on end. Do I think about the employee - yes. Does that mean I shouldn't complain - no.
In this case the person I think of above all others is the child I'm advocating for.

There is always the odd nutter. My clients 99% decent but one woman complained her documents were late (she got them 3 working days later most solicitors say within 2 weeks). Then she complained she felt “rushed” when they arrived. So which is it?! Too quick or too slow! Can’t win!

You just sound nasty

Agree with the OP but I make one exception for Virgin Media who are without question the worst company I have ever dealt with in terms of customer service. It’s like they are experimenting live on humans to see if they can bring on a heart attack through sheer incompetence.

This is poor service without a doubt, but probably what the OP is getting at by saying 'think of the person at the other end' - what kind of 'head of steam' might they have built up if they've had to deal with 20+ abusive callers before you - yet they have to be polite and professional however rude and aggressive you might be in letting off steam

this goes both ways. If it takes someone who thinks they may have been a victim of fraud, 28 calls to get through to the Fraud department, and the fraud department are hacked off because people who finally get through are angry and flustered - that's on Nat West, isn't it?

Do complaints departments consider someone who calls them to say "i have 20p to last until pay day and i can't pay your bill" when their answer amounts to "computer says no"?

A bit of politeness on either side would be nice.

I complain about my son not getting the support he should be getting because it is my job as his parent to get it. I'm never rude though despite getting rudeness and being talked down to in response sometimes and occasionally blatant lying ( LA I am looking at you).

Somebody at work was screamed at down the phone this morning. The caller even said they were going to continue shouting at her because she deserves it because she took the call so it was her responsibility to listen to everything he said about her and change the rules because he was going to shout at her until she did. She was in tears. That's absolutely not what she should have to encounter by 8am.

I've said if it ever happens/feels like it's about to happen, I want to take over the call if she's not comfortable hanging up - sometimes just a second voice gives the chance to defuse things. And I don't give a shit, shout all you like, say what you like about me or my employer, I'll either get you back on track and apologising to/thanking me or I'll hang up on you after telling exactly what I'm about to do and why I'm doing it.

But I'll still think you're a prick for doing it in the first place. I just won't call you it over the phone - and if you think at any point that I'm going to change things just because you shouted at me or a less too old for this shit confident person (and usually a woman, very few of these people ever try it when they're on the phone to a man), rather than because I can and it's the right thing to do, tough.

It's on NatWest, yes, but it's not on the individual who happens to be on the end of the line - it's on their CEOs who want to save as much money as they can by not staffing the lines sufficiently.

"i have 20p to last until pay day and i can't pay your bill". - most places would look to set up some kind of gradual repayment plan; if they can't or won't, again, that won't be the decision of the person on the end of the line. What is that call agent supposed to do - say 'Oh, OK then, we'll write it off' and get the sack?

I work in hospitality and MY GOD are people awful. Someone not being happy with one thing and it being rectified suddenly changes to a 'horrific experience' when they email head office, they slate everything, call the staff rude or incompetent, the list goes on. I really think the British public has changed to a horrible mindset of 'if I complain I'll get something for free' and no matter how dramatic the complaint vouchers always seem to solve the problem. Which is sometimes very suspicious. Think 'nearly died from food poisoning' or 'being fed an allergen' suddenly being okay 🙃

If I have to call to complain, I won't be rude or short or swear, but I will state my case firmly. I'll also say that I know it's not their personal fault, I'm frustrated by the situation caused by the company and I just want to get it off my chest.

Having worked in retail for a number of years, I know what it's like to be on the receiving end.

I think the thing that some people do as well is ring up and start ranting, shouting and swearing immediately
Which is really frustrating when it actually is nothing to do with me and they need another department! Then they get annoyed again because they've already vented but I couldn't get a word in edgeways to start, and if I did they told me not to interrupt....

I do. Probably because I work in customer service so I give positive feedback way more often than negative. Service would have to be really bad to warrant a complaint. If service is mediocre I just wouldn't given any feedback as I know that even just giving 3-4 out of 5 or "acceptable" can be viewed as not good enough.

I'm not a call centre agent but I work for an organisation that employs them, and any time I'm on the phone speaking to some poor sod at the sharp end of my complaint I make it clear that I'm not making it personal, and I recognise they are only doing their best. Sometimes I can hear an audible sigh of relief.

I had a Dr apt this week. There was barely anyone in the surgery and I was feeling a bit miffed that the Dr was 30 min late. The person before me came out and the Dr apologised and said she had had to do a hospital admission which took a long time, and I could see she seemed quite stressed out. I felt bad for the GP and the previous patient.....then she had to ask a 2nd opinion from another Dr for the issue I went for and my apt ended up being half an hour also,....and it made me realise how easily things can start to be so late.

I often feel bad for people in customer facing roles who often take the brunt of customers frustrations when they are in no way responsible for the issue at hand. The poor station staff when trains are delayed/not running for example. Or waiters and waitresses when food is slow/not suitable

I don’t think shouting and swearing is ok but I regularly need to complain about services and supports for my child who has complex needs. The manner and behaviour of some staff is breathtaking - I work and train others in the area they work in and am utterly appalled at the lack of professionalism shown at times. So yes, I will state my case clearly, and expect staff to deal with it. We all have various pressures to cope with and I have no interest in making someone’s life difficult or in making them feel like shit, but even staff under pressure need to be held to account for their practice and that’s never an easy or pleasant process.

My favourite to complain to is HMRC. I always say it's not personal. Tell them that I'm so angry I don't know where to start. I always pause for breath and let them reply.

I have to say I felt awful for anyone working in bank/building society or speaking to customers about impending mortgages after the shit-fest on Friday. I imagine they are dealing with a lot of angry and upset people.

I worked in retail for three years, it did nothing to improve my view of people in general. I was shouted at, had things thrown at me, spoken to like I was nothing.... depressing.

Work for a mental health charity now. Had a few moments there, including a service user verbally attacking me and reducing me to tears when I was pregnant over a decision made by the NHS that was absolutely nothing to do with us. And she knew that, she just wanted to vent and I was conveniently there.

I agree 100%. However this does generally mean that I don't stand up for myself enough and put up with piss poor service as a result.
I've done my fair share of customer service roles and know that there's only so much the operative is authorised to do and know that kindness does go a long way during a long aggressive shift.

At work (NHS) I'll sometimes have a patient comlaining about something completely outside my control , usually accompanied by " Oh I'm not having a go ay YOU " but then they proceed to do exactly that
If I suggest they write or email our Head Office they don't want to , they've had their say bending my ear .

Or the person who turns up wrong time/wrong day/wrong place refusing to believe what I have on my computer saying "Well why did they tell me xyz "

(They didn't , that booking does not exist . Is it more likely that you wrote it wrong or didn't remember it?)
And of course they don't bring the letter (but I can check the letter on the computer)

Of course if they rant at me , because I;m there , they might do a grumbled apology but I'm meant to let it slide over my head . The words have been said .

General Public Indeed

Always! I would never be rude to any member of staff, unless it was directly their fault and they were being cheeky and/or wilfully unhelpful.

I work in debt collection and have customers screaming at me every day, not even with valid complaints - they just don't think I should be contacting them. We're actually very lenient as a company with regards to people's personal circumstances. The vast majority of people come off the phone telling me how helpful and understanding I've been. The screaming people can reduce me to tears and it happens daily.

There's just no need for it - I understand that people are stressed but I'm there to help them and a lot of what I do is Stepchange referrals, talking to vulnerable people etc. It's not just about demanding money.

I was just talking to a friend about this. I say this as somebody in the nhs and really appreciate the pressure and how complaints affect people but I have been on the receiving end of being spoken to like dirt by medical staff and it's not okay and you should be taken to task about it. It's a hard job and the system is broken but the patient should never bear the brunt of your bad shift /mental health

I think it's really hard to not let it affect the next person/call because well, contact centres you can't really take time between calls

One example
Customer told me I deserved to be spoken to like shit
Next call, customer "you could sound a bit happier"
Like.. I'm trying here but sounding upbeat for 170 calls is pretty tough let alone after being sworn at!