To ask if you think about the person at the other end before making a complaint?

[Ladybug9]

Just wondering really. I work in an industry where mental health of staff takes a serious knock, regularly and we are expected to be perfect. The most capable and wonderful people all eventually suffer with stress and get overwhelmed. So much is expected of us, days are so long and work life balance is non existent. We have constant inputs on looking after our own mental health and how to notice of your colleagues are struggling because people do completely break, it's really not uncommon and actually I know more colleagues who have had severe mh issues than those that haven't. After these inputs, you're expected to get back to work and the wellbeing advice is text book and rubbish. Given the nature of the work, it isn't possible to tell the people who we work for ( all walks of life in the public ) when someone hasn't updated them because they've been off with stress for example, it's just not appropriate. I'm fortunate in that I did have a really bad time with my mental health in the past but happen to be on a good team which has got me back to feeling good again, but I've noticed lately that so many of my colleagues are either not working or are really unwell and I really think the main contributing factor to the stress isn't so much the work itself, it's that we cannot be honest with people. Everything is audited and it's not okay to say 'sorry I haven't updated you/done this/called you back, I'm really struggling at the moment and I'm doing my best', it's just not professional. I was wondering if this is how lots of professionals feel, especially those in the NHS, law, teaching, housing etc who are constantly complained at / about or if its unique to where I work? What is the answer? Does anyone else in this position have extra empathy for those that are in those roles? I like to think I do. My nan recently had a really late GP appointment. She followed in a rude, aggressive woman who was leaving her appointment and walked out saying how how NHS is on its he arse, she's going to complain. The poor young girl who saw her was so apologetic and seemed relieved that someone wasn't shouting at her. It's not her fault is it? I bet she didn't study for all that time to do a crap job. I cannot understand this complaint mentality or how people are so removed from realising that services do their best but aren't miracle workers. I don't work in the NHS by the way & I don't believe we should accept rubbish service all the time, but I do think there's a real lack of insight into the pressures people are under at work nowadays and a massive sense from each individual person that they're the only one who matters and the person they're shouting at / complaining about/ generally being unpleasant to must just be lazy, never broken or just not coping. Genuinely interested to hear all opinions on this and your own experiences...

I do, but occasionally not until I've started complaining.

So usually I start with 'I'm sorry, I know it's not you', but sometimes that's the second sentence.

Working in a customer facing job is a valuable life experience

Depends what kind of complaint it is:
My food is cold (in a restaurant) - no, I would not be rude. Would I think about the recipient of my complaint, no. They have the means to redress it.
Customer services by phone: wouldn’t usually waste my time.
NHS: depending on whether you mean the Complaints Department- who one has to complain to. No, it’s their choice of job
i don’t and would never complain about waiting times or parking as many do.
Complaining about the cunt that touched me up in hospital (consultant)… yeah, I think I hope his days and nights are as ruined as mine were.
so.. you know, it depends

I always consider the other person and am polite but firm. I've leant over the years how to complain assertively and 'go up the gears'.

Usually it isn't the fault of the person at the other end of the 'phone.

I'm always polite to the call handler/customer service agent.

but shit service or products need to be called out.

that can be done though without making it personal.

This,absolutely. It’s fine to complain if you feel things have been handled badly but do it considerately. I handle complaints for the gp practice I work at and I have no problem with complaints which are initiated and handled with mutual consideration, they can be helpful for all parties.

I'd say I don't need to think about the person on the other end before saying something - because I always try to be a reasonable and fairly decent human being to everybody in the first place - and I always tell myself that I don't have a life where I feel like everybody is out to get me, which is a massive privilege that others don't enjoy, so if they want to rage about something that actually has no effect upon my life at all and I might be able to help with (as long as I'm physically safe), rant away; and once they've said their piece, they're usually far more reasonable.

I had a grocery shop delivered and the only sub was a different scented Toilet Duck to the one I'd ordered.

The driver asked if I was happy with the subs and I said yes and told him I wasn't bothered what it smelled like as long as it cleaned the toilet!

He said I'd be surprised as people have kicked off and shouted at him for trivial things like that before 😮

The problem is with lots of organisations by the time you get through to speak to someone you have built up a head of steam. (Looking at you Nat West 28 calls to get through to your fraud department).
Then you often get a person who is following a script and cannot actually do anything. If you ask to speak to a manager with authority you cannot. ( Yes JL if you deliver and install a cooker that doesn’t work it’s not up to me to contact the manufacturer)
I can understand how people get frustrated and shout; if you are calm and reasonable you get ignored.

my previous boss in a retail situation always called out aggressive or abusive complaints. Most of the staff were young females and so many entitled people tried to treat us like shit mostly for nothing complaints. they would pull them up and tell them their complaint would be addressed only after the language and/or behaviour was apologised for- and wouldn't back down . Many times the cuntomer left rather than apologise.
Shame people haven't kept up all the BeKind to workers .

I can see both sides, TBH.

My parents are awful at complaining without considering who is on the other end - I spent my whole childhood being so embarrassed at how incredibly rude they would be, without for a minute questioning whether they were being reasonable or proportionate. So I try very hard not to behave like that.

OTOH, I think to an extent, if your role involves taking feedback/complaints, then you do need to learn to do that in a professional manner, rather than taking it personally. I've done this in two very different roles; sometimes it really stings when you hear a criticism that you know, for certain, is not fair and not your fault. But ... that's the job, right? Sometimes you just need a handy cover-all phrase like 'I'm so sorry to hear you've been disappointed in your experience'.

I do think it is unprofessional to give excuses relating to personal life/issues that don't concern the customer. It's one thing to say 'I'm so sorry we've had to move to online appointments; this is a covid requirement,' or 'I'm sorry we're unable to offer this product; it has been withdrawn'. Those are things the customer needs to know. Saying 'I'm sorry, I'm overworked because I'm covering a colleague who's sick' or whatever - that's not on. IMO.

The problem is with lots of organisations by the time you get through to speak to someone you have built up a head of steam. (Looking at you Nat West 28 calls to get through to your fraud department).

This is poor service without a doubt, but probably what the OP is getting at by saying 'think of the person at the other end' - what kind of 'head of steam' might they have built up if they've had to deal with 20+ abusive callers before you - yet they have to be polite and professional however rude and aggressive you might be in letting off steam.

They can't let off their 'head of steam' - can't even go for a nice cup of tea or a walk after their stressful call, as you might do to calm down when you finally get off the line. Your call ends and straight away they have to be composed and friendly for the next caller.

Depends who I'm complaining to!

Company and some poor bugger who has no control over how the situation occurred - yes!

Someone who made the mistake - depends on situation. If genuine mistake and I can see how it happened then I'm firm but fair.

Obvious cock up where policy hasn't been followed. I'm firm and polite but I have high expectations that'll it'll be acknowledged corrected and they tell me how they'll prevent it again!

(For example, something that really sticks in mind was when my granny was very ill and dying. Most of the medics we deal with were excellent, but one woman felt the need to tell me all about what a difficult time she was having and how she couldn't be expected to do x, y and z, how they were shockingly understaffed, how she personally was having a really hard time ... I was just furious about it. It was totally unnecessary to put all that onto me while I was caring for someone who was dying. I hadn't been rude in my complaint, either - I had just explained how important it was given my granny was in a lot of pain and quite close to the end.)

I work in public services for children/education, which is underfunded, understaffed and under resourced. But we have to carry on regardless as it's a statutory job. Most people are okay and get that it's not our fault, but some people are vile and say/write the most hurtful things that really get to you. Like.. you don't care about children, you're incompetent and shouldn't be doing this job etc.
They forget that we are actual people who do understand many of the stresses as we've been there and have experience, which is why we have the job and that there are never enough hours in the day its way too poorly paid for the stress the staff are under!
Then they complain to their MP and everyone has to spend time responding to that, but it doesn't solve the problem because the issues run so deep. Urgh. Now I'm depressed.

I agree that customer aggression and rudeness has got much worse since covid. I work in customer service for a large energy company. We've always taken a lot of flack from customers as energy companies have never been particularly popular. Since covid it's on another level. Customers call up irate with a query and won't even let you speak to try and explain things and sort it out. They rant for an eternity - I'm talking over 30 minutes of ranting - and you can't even get a word in edgeways. Then they get angry about how much the call is potentially costing them! This is on top of regular verbal abuse.

Definitely agree with worse since Covid. I've been in customer service roles my entire working life, 16 years in contact centres and it's the worst it's been

@Scrumhalf I handle complaints for the gp practice I work at and I have no problem with complaints which are initiated and handled with mutual consideration, they can be helpful for all parties.

Completely agree. I lead on complaints where I work and no matter how aggressive or intimidating a complaint may look at first, I always try to listen to the complainer in order to understand them and improve our services. More often than not, I start my response by saying thank you because complaints are basically free feedback which some companies spend thousands on collecting.

I give people the chance to acknowledge and respond to my concerns efficiently. After they have blown that chance then they deserve anything that comes at them. However unfortunately I rarely find those employed in customer facing roles have any knowledge of their duties outside a very small remit and there are never any supervisors to manage more complicated queries so yes those who are the first point of contact and mostly the only one. That is not my fault, i am the customer and I deserve good service. That together with not allowing any apology for faults or poor service makes me even more furious. So sorry to be a shit but a lot of customer service when you contact a company is very poor. Face to face rarely have cause to complain. Can you tell I have been dealing with claiming for a holiday cancellation due to Covid for the last two days?

I did a written complaint a while ago and whilst I can't remember it all there was a line something like "i appreciate that you are only following your company's policies and pity you that you are led by donkeys' hopefully that absolves the front line staff of any blame.

I worked in retail for years so always treat people how I would like to be treated!

I've become aware of this recently and have started actively trying to compliment people because I haven't been shy to make a complaint about poor service in the past.

Whiting reason I try to apply the same strategy I use in my friendships...

If something goes wrong I try to speak to the person directly and give them an opportunity to rectify it.

If they do something right, I make sure I tell them (and often everyone else / I'm a prolific praise email writer)

Of course there are exceptions, but largely it has served me well.

That's a thing a lot of people don't do. Quick to complain (I get at least one a day) but compliments.. I can think of maybe 2 in 4 years
Even an email saying thanks or a Google review makes a huge difference

Believe me, it can genuinely make someone's day if they get a compliment.

From when I used to work in a school, if it was up to me there would a special place in hell for those that say “I pay your wages” to any public sector employee.