To find it hard to feel sympathy for certain scam “victims”?

[MayThe4th]

I’m not talking about those who are taken in by bogus calls from HMRC, or their bank, or PayPal or Royal Mail and the list goes on. In Theory we should all know the signs and be aware, but it’s easy to see how some people can be taken in.

But I’m talking about those people who give hundreds of thousands to 419 scammers, or to scammers for winnings of a lottery they never entered. There was an article the other day about someone who fell for a bitcoin scam and within half an hour he had been scammed out of £400k.

I watched the tinder swindler on netflix and all I could think was wtf! I mean it would be one thing giving this man money, but these women went into debt for him.

And I can’t help but think that so many people fall for these kinds of scams purely out of greed.

They believe they will make the millions, they hope the bitcoin will pay off, the women in the tinder swindler were dazzled by the lifestyle.

If my husband spent the cost of my house transferring money to a Nigerian bank account it would be grounds for divorce.

IMO these kinds of “victims” aren’t the same as real victims of scams, the people who are prayed on by lowlife who rely on someone’s fear they will be arrested for not paying their taxes, or fearing their bank account has been hacked.

The 419 and tinder swindler scam victims aren’t really victims, they’re led by greed, and are prepared to lose whatever they have to to get what they want.

Just to add that although she was younger than him, it wasn't a huge/seedy age gap (15 years).

I'm not talking about myself, I just have some empathy for others. Maybe you should try it sometime.

You are confusing being unintelligent with uneducated or ignorant of certain things. For example, my grandfather was incredibly smart, he could take an airplane engine apart and put it back together blindfold but he never touched a computer in his life and so wouldn't necessarily have the ability to spot scams as well as people from more recent generations that have grown up with computers/phones etc. Scammers prey on the vunerable, the less tech-savvy and the poorest people in society who haven't had access to education on these matters.

Yes, but they also prey on the greedy, the mean, the vile and the wilfully obtuse, and those are who we are talking about.

Blanket empathy for all is just an inability to see the difference. I have plenty of empathy for the elderly unused to technology or the uneducated who don't understand finances...but very little for the fools who refuse to be told and let their own greed or narcissism lead them to those who wll part them from their money.

@50percentNamaste50percentGoFuckYourself That's spot on. Couldn't have put it better myself.
I strongly object to being labelled horrible human beings with no empathy by @CapMarvel. We have our opinions which, like it or not, we're entitled to, just as she has. I don't like being told what kind of person I am by somebody who doesn't know me, just because my opinion isn't the same as theirs.

We’ve just had someone post on our neighbourhood group to give a warning that Nottingham Knockers were in the area. Someone asks what’s that, so the post explains it’s men who claim to be newly released from prison on a rehabilitation programme to scam you into buying overpriced cleaning supplies. Someone goes mad ranting about people not giving others a second chance etc, others agree.

Someone patiently explained it was a scam, no such rehabilitation scheme existed, they were often part of gangs, they products were poor quality and overpriced, often use pressure tactics etc, but still this small group is determined to “help these poor lads”. This is a small value scam but why should the group willing to be scammed deserve sympathy here? You can scale up to the romance scams etc.

Well I don't want to go into detail as it may be outing, but it was about work we needed doing on the house. The man was clever. I can't give details of how his scam operated because I've told people in real life and I don't want to be outed on here. Crazy thing is, I've managed to track down the scammer who is continuing to lie to me, but I can't help feel sorry for him. It's ridiculous but sometimes we are trapped by our own limiting experiences and beliefs born from childhood (in my case it was drummed into me as a kid that I am nothing, should have nothing. I was forced to put horrible people ahead of my own needs. So I can see why I've turned into the person I have).

FWIW - it is deeply insulting having people on here call people like me stupid or greedy. I am neither. I have a PhD and an IQ of 155. So I'm not stupid (though I most certainly feel it, and thanks for making me feel even worse). I am not greedy at all. In fact it's my desire to place others ahead of myself that gets me in trouble. I would sooner spend money on others than myself and have no greedy bones in my body.

I hope that none of you who are being judgemental ever get scammed. It's bad enough as it is, without others judging you and making you feel even more of a useless human being

@ILoveDrivingRandom I'm sorry that you had that experience and also the messages you got as a child, thank you for taking the time to post and giving that insight.

You're not a useless human being at all, you're highly intelligent as you say and also clearly very kind and empathetic.

Thanks scianel