To find it hard to feel sympathy for certain scam “victims”?

[MayThe4th]

I’m not talking about those who are taken in by bogus calls from HMRC, or their bank, or PayPal or Royal Mail and the list goes on. In Theory we should all know the signs and be aware, but it’s easy to see how some people can be taken in.

But I’m talking about those people who give hundreds of thousands to 419 scammers, or to scammers for winnings of a lottery they never entered. There was an article the other day about someone who fell for a bitcoin scam and within half an hour he had been scammed out of £400k.

I watched the tinder swindler on netflix and all I could think was wtf! I mean it would be one thing giving this man money, but these women went into debt for him.

And I can’t help but think that so many people fall for these kinds of scams purely out of greed.

They believe they will make the millions, they hope the bitcoin will pay off, the women in the tinder swindler were dazzled by the lifestyle.

If my husband spent the cost of my house transferring money to a Nigerian bank account it would be grounds for divorce.

IMO these kinds of “victims” aren’t the same as real victims of scams, the people who are prayed on by lowlife who rely on someone’s fear they will be arrested for not paying their taxes, or fearing their bank account has been hacked.

The 419 and tinder swindler scam victims aren’t really victims, they’re led by greed, and are prepared to lose whatever they have to to get what they want.

Victim blaming at it's finest. It's easy to look at scam victims in isolation, roll your eyes and think "how stupid can they be"? However, scammers are just playing a numbers game. There are 8 billion people on the planet and whilst many of them are switched on there will always be plenty who are lacking in critical thinking, naïve and too trusting, desperate or otherwise vulnerable. It takes as much effort to send a phishing email or sms to a million recipients as it does to send it to one. Scammers know if they cast their net wide enough they will eventually catch a few fish. That's why their scams invariable look laughably unsophisticated to you and me - they don't need much finesse because the pool is so large. Doesn't mean we should mock the poor fish that get caught though. Blame should stay were it's deserved - with the criminals.

Sounds like you had initiated contact with them before then...

yeah- it was legit ( albeit I didn’t know who the courier would be so hadn’t had direct contact). Just made me laugh that I was thinking I was being all savvy and fedex are like “look lady, do you want this stuff or not?” Good job I didn’t block them or I’d never have got it. But i think it is probably a wider issue that if you’re expecting something and you get a courier link you might just click on it without thinking.

I had a card in my letterbox, my surname was misspelt, postcode wrong, almost illegible handwriting, and website address to log on to to pay customs charges. I put it in the bin - months later I learned that a US friend had had a parcel she'd sent me returned to her.

Why our customs wanted to charge me I've no idea as the contents was only a few artisan teatowels!

I just remembered as well, the worst part was she was handing over wads of cash to people coming to her house, all different men and women and handing over £5-10k at a time to these randomers she didn't even know!

I binged watched this during mat leave and I am afraid I did judge some of the people. One woman had given away all her savings and then some so her and her children were now relying on food banks. I judged hard. I wouldn’t even hand over thousands to a family member if it meant my child went hungry. Priorities were all wrong.

Another rather unpleasant man refused to believe the gorgeous woman 30 years his younger was a scammer using an innocent woman’s photos even when faced with a mountain of evidence. This included a video call with the poor woman whose photos were being used, who confirmed it wasn’t her he’d been talking to. He was so rude to the presenters too. He was so full of himself.

I agree. I have great sympathy for people scammed by texts saying they haven’t paid their tv licence or clever scams in which they purport to be your bank, but a lot of victims are purely greedy.

The Tinder Swindler “victim” lost me when she went on the plane date with his ex and their child - I mean wtf? If this bloke had been a delivery driver and had done this you’d run for the hills, so why tolerate it when you think the date is a millionaire? Er, wait a minute, because he’s a millionaire… ?

Also in the Telegraph there is a weekly financial sob story. One person the other week had “invested” (given) £300k or thereabouts to some fund which promised spectacular returns. In spite of their bank urging caution they went ahead, lost all their money and wanted the Telegraph to get the bank to reimburse them. They were just greedy! Also you can see the opportunity for fraud if a bank is always obliged to make good people’s idiocy. I could give half a million (which is just lying around in my bank account ) by arrangement to a friend and then claim I’d been scammed.

I always think of victims of domestic abuse. Sometimes they're smart educated women too, I don't understand how you stay if someone hits you, but I accept that it happens. I suppose it's the same for scammers. They identify a vulnerability in someone. I assume for every victim they have 20 or 30 didn't work out and walked away.

There was something in the money pages of the Times a few weeks back where a man was trying to send more money to scammers having already lost somewhere between £150 to 200k. He was convinced this time the person would be able to get back his money. It was both sad and illuminating that the chap in this case was furious that the bank had blocked him from sending even more money. I suspect he was quite desperate and probably very worried and not thinking properly.
www.thetimes.co.uk/article/ec980bd4-1fc8-11ed-8cc0-b6d3f6238a92?shareToken

He didn't bring her on a date with his ex and child- they all got on a private jet together. I assume if he took her to dinner down the road with them red flags would be flying but if you've never been part of an Uber wealthy set you're a fish out of water and she was calmed by the exes presence- he must be a good guy if his ex still sees him.

I've watched all of those and still find myself shaking my head in disbelief - one woman (in her early 80s, I think) saying "But I love him!" of a person she had never met, who was - of course - entirely fictional and to whom she had shovelled all she had.

Even on occasions when they do a Zoom call with the person who's had his photos stolen the women don't get it. You have this Dutch logistics manager or whoever saying that he's never spoken/emailed her before and that he knows photos have been stolen from Facebook, and the British woman is still not accepting that her American marine boyfriend isn't real.

I had a work colleague in her mid 30’s, smart IT professional get scammed on ok Cupid by some “very handsome US army type based in Afganistán” . He scammed her out of 60000 pounds. I could never believe this “smart” friend could fall for that BS but she did. Deep. She was not pretty at all and had a very lonely life so she was an excellent prey. Scamming is all about targeting peoples vulnerabilities. I’ve been debating myself between feeling sorry and not sorry for her. I mean… how can you give so much money to a stranger on the internet? Mind boggles.

I agree, in cases where the victim has mental capacity to manage their own finances. It is different in the case of vulnerable or elderly people, and I am particularly worried that the insistence on banking, pension and benefit transactions being carried out online pushes these groups into territory they are not equipped to navigate safely.

But in cases where a mentally competent adult's family and bank has warned them they are being scammed and they send their money anyway?! I find it hard to be sympathetic when they are crying for a refund from the bank later.

@KassandraOfSparta - In the one I saw, they got the woman whose photos had been used on Zoom. She explained the photos were taken about 10-15 years ago when she’d been modelling. It was still very obviously her though but the arse of a man was incredulous and basically said the woman on the call was too old and ugly to be the person he’d been talking to.

The banks need to stop using our money to repay people who have been scammed if there is no fault on the part of the bank, they shouldn't be used as an insurance company.

I remember reading about this woman trying to demand the bank give her money back that she willingly sent they even flagged it too her told her not to do it contacted the police who agreed it was a scam but it was ultimately her money and her decision the bank got into trouble for calling the police (she complained the bank agreed there was an overstep) then when it turns out they were right she is demanding her money back life savings how will we cope "heartless bank" headlines

Utter madness

78 year old gran marries the 26 year old handsome hunky African man. " we are so in love"
Once he has his visa we can be together for ever
Sure you will love !!

Maybe there needs to be some free-to-use reverse image software so that people can check the lovely person whose photo they have.

I don't think the banks will repay. When you make a transfer online on a laptop or through the app it first confirms there's a match with the names you have provided, and there are also warnings telling you not to proceed unless you are sure.

If people are determined to send money to "Major Smith" who just happens to be using the account of his "friend" in Ghana, then hell mend them. There;s no legislating against that sort of stupidity.

What, like Google?

I read a while ago that the people who fall for romance scams generally have a high self esteem and low emotional intelligence. They are probably desperate for love but also really think some fit young person would find them attractive while most people would know it’s a scam.

But is the reverse image search free to use? When I've looked there's been a charge to use it. If it is free then good!

People always state this, its fearmongering... I have yet to encounter a single facebook game that has any infomation that could be used against me.

People are NOT getting my bank details from finding out my fantasy name is Prince Purple Smith (childhood pet, tshirt colour, grandmothers maiden name - actually true go steal my identity, I'll wait...) litrally that is not information you could use to get access to anything.

I would love to see people phone up and give the bank that though trying to get access, they call center workers would be pissing themselves with laughter.

free to use on Google, right click and select view with Google lens.

A lot of people who fall for these scams are lonely and vulnerable, even if their vulnerabilities are not immediately obvious. I appreciate that a lot of us wouldn’t fall for these kind of scams. But that doesn’t stop me feeling sympathy for the people that do. I think they are naive and prone to fantasy rather than motivated by greed.