To split accommodation cost by adult not by room

[nwth73]

Going on holiday with a group of friends - have been holidaying together since uni. Some now have families. Make up of the group is:

Family 1 (2 adults, 1 baby)
Family 2 (2 adults, 1 toddler, 1 baby)
Single adult
Couple 1
Couple 2

In the past, we have always split the house cost equally amongst the adults. Couple 1 is a recent match, last year they were a single (in their own room).

House has got 6 bedrooms, 2 are interconnecting with 1 being a very small box room for the toddler of family 2 - it would not fit even a single adult.

I (for my sins as the organiser) have proposed to count the toddler as a half and then split the cost across the group. So Family 1 and each Couple pays £631, Family 2 pays £789 and single pays £316 (total cost for the week is c.£3k).

Couple 1 has come back and said the cost should be split by room since Family 2 is taking 2 rooms. Which would leave Family 1, the single adult and each Couple paying £500 and Family 2 paying £1000.

I don't think this is fair to the single adult in particular, who is paying twice as much as the other adults when in the past we've split it evenly (and couple 1 friend has benefitted from this before they became a couple).

AIBU to split it by person not by room? What is the done thing once children enter the fray and are taking up rooms of their own?

YABU - it should be split by room
YANBU - it should be split by person (and in what ratio of adults/kids?!)

Don't charge for the box room (and if you do, definitely not full price if it couldn't be used by an adult). After that splitting by room or by adult are both fair so go with what you've always done as a change in protocol is hard to justify if you have a standing arrangement.

Your way is fairest, OP, although if it's advertised as a 'dressing room' I'd be inclined to count it as 0.25 not 0.5, it definitely isn't a room itself just one bigger room - but sounds like the suggestion of a half came from the toddler's parents so fair enough.

The couple complaining need to get a grip. Maybe (if family 2 could actually fit in another room) you should suggest Awkward Couple have the 'room with dressing room attached' and pay double because they will be taking up what they consider to be two whole rooms? Plus naturally since this 'pay by room' system will disadvantage the single person, and they themselves benefitted in the past they will be happy to pay half the additional costs for the single person who is hit by their new system?

I'd be asking them why do they want to change it from last time? Did they not think it was fair last time? And also if it's by room and I was family 2 I'd be a cheeky bitch and expect to draw lots for the rooms. I'd be particularly pissed off paying full whack for the toddlers room. Similarly if I was the single person paying for a full room I'd be pissed off being put in the room with twin beds because I'm not a couple. If you pay per room then you draw lots for the rooms.

In principle I agree that if you have split it per adult in the past and one half of couple 1 has always benefitted from this as a single person, then they are cheeky to want to change now. However, single people have been getting a good deal up to now if they get the same size room at half the cost.

Here is a thought. Why not say that you can't split by room if all rooms are being treated as equal. Instead split by "occupancy potential". I.e., if a room could accommodate 2 adults it is counted as 2 units, if only one adult the it counts as 1 unit and if it can only accommodate a toddler it counts as 0.5.

Hence, assuming all the large bedrooms are doubles you have 10.5 units. Divided by 3000 that is 285.71 per unit. So each of the large bedrooms pays 571.43 while the tiny bedroom is 142.86. Family with toddler would now be paying 714.29, single friend and the other couples paying 571.43. Poor old single would be paying more than in your original scheme but family with toddler and the rest of you a bit less. OTOH. Family with toddler paying significantly less than they would if CF got there way.

But that is assuming all larger bedrooms are doubles. If any of them are singles then you have 9.5 units and running the calculations on that basis it comes out exactly as your original proposal. I do hope one of them is a single because you can then put forward this charging proposal and get to exactly the same cost
(I like these sort of threads. It is another variant of bistro mathematics)

The little room is described as a toddler room/dressing room. So makes total sense the couple with the toddler have that with the adjoining bedroom as no one else can use it anyway.

It should be split by adults. S it always has been. I don't even think the toddler should be paying half adult cost anyway, they eat next to nothing and parents will likely take food specific for toddler anyway. Once they are older, thats a little different, especially when they need their room.

If the one complaining wants to split per room, then that 6th 'room' is taken out of the equation anyway as it is not technically a bedroom. But all that will do is piss off the single person as they will be paying more.

I think it's fair enough that the toddlers room incurs an extra 0.5 cost. After all there are 4 units in Family 2 and they are getting some extra space, plus they have suggested it themselves.

I do think this will be the last trip in its current format OP, now that DS is a self sufficient teen I've found it tiring on holiday with our relatives toddler particularly as they insisted on doing hour long poo potty training in the living room and I'd be surprised if childfree couples and singletons would voluntarily holiday with young DCs that are not their own.

So the issue really is that you've got a new person - couple 1's new partner - who wants to change everything to their advantage, in a way that will unfairly disadvantage existing members of the group.
This could be a really tricky dynamic, OP. Stick to the group consensus of fair, but beware this new person could be about to be a troublemaker, arriving with a pre-existing shoulder-chip.

I presume that accommodation has been chosen to fit the needs of the group which includes space for the toddler and a room big enough for you to have your baby in with you.

Presumably, the communal space is also reflective of the needs of the group so I would expect that the costs reflect that in some way.

Family 1 with two kids pay the most - £750 (and this fits with their expectations of paying for 2.5 'shares')
Family 2 with one baby pay a bit less but than them but a bit more than the couples £650
Couple 1 and 2 pay the 'reference rate' which I suggest could be 1/5 of the total each £600 each
Single person pays a bit less. £400

And ah yes - the penance for the sins of the organiser is that you must live with everyone telling you how they think you should have done it differently and offering suggested improvements for next year!!

Should the couples feel solidarity with the singles they can magnanimously share the 'no children yet' assigned costs between the five of them......

I’m away with 8 adults and 5 kids soon and there are 7 rooms but the fee has been split by adult - we didn’t count the children at all. So say it’s £1k for the weekend then each adult pays £125. So if you’re a family of 2 adults and 2 kids it’s £250 - same for a couple. We all think that’s fair, even the couple!

As the perennial single person in this sort of scenario, I think your Couple 1 friend is being unreasonable @nwth73 Singles tend to get the worst rooms, & pay proportionately more. And basically are expected to fit around the needs of those with children & couples.

Those PPs making the point that in a holiday house, everyone is also paying for shared facilities (kitchen, sitting room, bathroom) make a very good point. And families will tend to dominate the facilities, so the 50/50 whole house/room approach is fair in respect of this.

I am strangly invested in this. How old is your baby ? For me there is a difference between sub 6 months not yet weaning and 15 months walking therefore whole place needs baby proofing.

Sounds like my idea of hell however you split it.

Do people seriously go on group hols with their friends like this?! How bizarre. It's what 20 something uni kids do.

This is why I would never want to go away with a group of friends to shared accommodation!

Yes often, I don't think it's weird at all. My friends are quite scattered about the place so it's hard to meet up just for a drink or lunch. I can catch up with my friends, our kids play together. We always have a lovely time.

However, single people have been getting a good deal up to now if they get the same size room at half the cost.

Having been in this scenario many times I’ve almost never found that the rooms are the same size, or equally attractive. As such I’m always happy to take the smaller/more spartan/non-ensuite room. But that being the case I certainly wouldn’t expect to pay double what each member of a couple pays. Luckily we have a close friendship group, have been holidaying together for years, and on arrival we’ve never had a fall-out over who should have which room.

Yes, have done for years. I’d like to pretend we’re just beyond the “20 something uni kids” age group but I’d be bound to get caught out!

Why is it so difficult for some people to understand that their way is not the only way?

As a '20 something uni kid' we all lived in rented accommodation near uni and had no need to rent a big cottage together. Holidays were abroad in a hotel with a pool, beach and drinks!

As a family, we are extremely good friends with a few other families where adults and children enjoy each others' company so an annual trip where we hire a big house and all stay under one roof is just perfect! We are like minded and make a point of finding accommodation where rooms/bathrooms are equal. Fortunately no CF like the one poor OP has to deal with.

Funny how we can all enjoy something different isn't it?!

@CoastalWave lots of people go on holidays with other families. No idea of percentages but certainly very common.

@CoastalWave we go away with a big group of friends. It's great - the kids have a brilliant time, and after they're in bed the adults can catch up over a glass of wine, no need to worry about babysitters etc.

Surely you split it 5 ways because there are 5 functional rooms?

Split per adult, I wouldn't bother with child charges unless they're taking up beds in a different room to the parents. (Also would work out some kind of discount for adults having to sleep in a public space, personally, though I know that isn't applicable to this situation. But I've organised or been part of several trips like this and it does come up! Thankfully usually with amenable people!)

I think what you have decided is fine , I reckon it’s the new addition to the group that is making the fuss as it’s never been an issue before .

Split by room but I'd class that extra little room as no more than half a room..

Leaving the single person paying double what the couples are? Completely unfair and selfish to split the costs like this.

Why is it selfish… They are getting a room to themselves. The same as a couple.