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Original poster

Baby announcements on social media? Yes or no?

82 replies

Moana1212 · 26/09/2022 19:19

One of my friends has put a baby scan photo and vest with 'baby ...' on social media after the 12 week scan. It's her first baby. I'm in two minds about this, I get why people want to share the news, it's happy and exciting. It's also really positive and everything has gone smoothly far. Plus, she's has no previous losses which might make a difference.

But on the other hand, I feel like it's not a done deal at 12 weeks. I know that sounds really negative. Maybe my views are tainted by two difficult pregnancies and births. Both times, it felt like so many things went wrong. Fortunately, both dc1 and dc2 are now here and well but I couldn't have imagined sharing the news on social media when it felt so precarious throughout.

I get that my personal views and experiences might not be typical. Maybe I'm just traumatised by my own experiences and that's why I feel this way.

I guess I'm interested to know what drives people to put baby announcements on social media? Have you done it and if you did, how and why?

OP posts:
Smellywellyhoo · 26/09/2022 19:23

Why do people put anything on social media? Having a child is one of the biggest things to happen to a person- why wouldn't someone announce it, if they usually post regularly on social media. It isn't mandatory so you don't have to put anything up but I find it odd to question why others would.

MolliciousIntent · 26/09/2022 19:25

I announced both pregnancies on social media at 12 weeks, had told plenty of people before then. Yes, if something had gone wrong it would have been painful to have to post a second announcement, but I'm not in the habit of living my life with the worst case scenario in mind.

candycaneframe · 26/09/2022 19:27

Why are you in two minds about this?

Not your baby, not your scan, not your profile so why even think you get to have one mind about this let alone two.

pinksquash13 · 26/09/2022 19:28

If you get to 12 weeks with a heartbeat you've got an incredibly high chance of having a live birth. So I think it's fine. If someone wanted to post at 4 weeks pregnant it's also fine because that's there perogative. If the baby was sadly lost, why should that be a secret. Some people may benefit from the support of their online community / friends and family.

Banana2079 · 26/09/2022 19:29

It is her social media account she can do what she likes with it I find them very painful however having suffered and ectopic pregnancy and two miscarriages I find baby announcements painful however I am very happy for the expecting person

pinksquash13 · 26/09/2022 19:29

Their perogative*

Darbs76 · 26/09/2022 19:30

Why wouldn’t you post it if you’re active on social media? That’s what social media is for, sharing news and life events and can’t get bigger. I shared with my 3rd child at 13wks (first two I wasn’t on social media or it didn’t exist with DS1). I don’t see anything unusual about posting pregnancy news after the 12wk scan

Cuppasoupmonster · 26/09/2022 19:30

Yep, all for it. Saves people wondering if you’ve just gained weight and being too polite to ask.

I know it isn’t mandatory, but I find people who hide their pregnancy from social media like it’s some kind of state secret to be highly strung/precious/churlish.

SheWoreYellow · 26/09/2022 19:32

So when would you go public? 12 weeks is very normal. Once you’ve told a few people it gets around, so that’s the same as putting it on social media.

GloriousGlory · 26/09/2022 19:32

I'd say why wouldn't you share?

What is social media for?

MarianneVos · 26/09/2022 19:32

I announced at twelve weeks both times.

First time: I was horrendously ill and high risk and wanted to get any joy I could out of the situation.
Second time: if things did go wrong I'd have preferred to enjoy it while it lasted.

FlissyPaps · 26/09/2022 19:33

It’s up the individual what they choose to post on their account. Why are you even bothered?

ShaneTwane · 26/09/2022 19:33

The whole point of social media is to share life news with Friends and family. Otherwise why bother having it at all if no one can share life events?

After 12 week scan likelihood of anything being wrong is low and its always been common to share the news at the 12 week scan. (And im someone who actually had a 12 week loss).

Yutes · 26/09/2022 19:35

If people want to share it and it makes them happy, then let them.

social media is a fast way to tell lots of people in your social circle your news, to those being sniffy about why people share things on social media. HTH.

it hurts for me to see announcements but that’s the envy talking because I’m three losses deep. But people should be happy for their friends happy news.

Yutes · 26/09/2022 19:37

I read an article about baby loss, and it said something along the lines of

I wish we could have been happy before all the sad.

After you lose a baby you lose the naïvety of being excited about it. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

Cuppasoupmonster · 26/09/2022 19:38

Also, I always find it cringey telling people I’m pregnant in real life (no idea why, it makes me feel like a naughty schoolgirl). It’s much easier for me to post to social media and just say ‘thanks’ when people congratulate me than to break the news over and over again.

ApplePears · 26/09/2022 19:41

Yutes · 26/09/2022 19:37

I read an article about baby loss, and it said something along the lines of

I wish we could have been happy before all the sad.

After you lose a baby you lose the naïvety of being excited about it. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

This is so SO true.

For what it’s worth I don’t love surprise announcements because they can be painful for other people.

But I think we can normalise supporting people who experience loss, I disagree with the OP’s reasoning.

AllThatAndMore · 26/09/2022 19:41

A 12 week pregnancy announcement is pretty standard 😊

ShaneTwane · 26/09/2022 19:42

Cuppasoupmonster · 26/09/2022 19:38

Also, I always find it cringey telling people I’m pregnant in real life (no idea why, it makes me feel like a naughty schoolgirl). It’s much easier for me to post to social media and just say ‘thanks’ when people congratulate me than to break the news over and over again.

Im the same 🤣 17 weeks and still loads of people dont know. Had to tell dps family this week and i couldn't come out with it so just passed the scan photo around lol. Going to wait until at least 20 weeks until i announce it on social media.

legalseagull · 26/09/2022 19:42

I hate this "we must keep it secret in case we lose the baby" logic. Baby loss shouldn't be a dirty secret. Women should feel free to tell people they are pregnant whenever, and however, they like.

Posting as someone who lost my first baby and felt like I couldn't talk about it for years after.

NC9876543211 · 26/09/2022 19:43

I posted a 12 week scan photo for DD who is now nearly 3.

I posted a 12 week scan photo plus DD in a 'I'm going to be a big sister' t shirt for my baby that I had to TFMR and was stillborn at 27 weeks this time last year.

I haven't posted a scan photo for current baby that I am 23 weeks with. I have privately told the people I wanted to tell, and obviously people know now by seeing my seemingly ridiculous sized bump, but I've not announced it. I don't know why, really. I guess I don't want to seem foolish if, god absolutely forbid, something goes wrong again. I suppose I don't want the sympathy, either to my face or behind my back, if something happens.

I am not a super user on Facebook but I do post major life events on there - but not this time, not now.

CatGrins · 26/09/2022 19:44

But even though you had 'two difficult pregnancies and births' you still have your two dc?

So why would it stop you from telling people you're pregnant? Did you just expect them to ignore the enormous bump?

Or is it just a snobbiness about announcing it on social media?

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 26/09/2022 19:44

I only told close family and friends at 12 weeks, wider friends and colleagues at more like 20 and the world through Facebook briefly after the baby arrived. I don’t care what other people do though.

ShaneTwane · 26/09/2022 19:44

legalseagull · 26/09/2022 19:42

I hate this "we must keep it secret in case we lose the baby" logic. Baby loss shouldn't be a dirty secret. Women should feel free to tell people they are pregnant whenever, and however, they like.

Posting as someone who lost my first baby and felt like I couldn't talk about it for years after.

Sorry for your loss. I feel the same.

I was waiting to announce my first pregnancy when i lost it the day before my scan. I decided to announce the loss straight away as i needed support and to talk about it and refused to have gone through three months of pregnancy secret and to be expected to pretend it never happened. No way.

BattenburgDonkey · 26/09/2022 19:45

Because having a baby is a massive deal and people want to share their happy news. Yes it’s not a done deal, but everyone is different. Some may be traumatised by having to tell to tell people that they’ve lost their baby, others may want people to no simply that their baby existed if things go wrong. It’s a totally personal choice and there is no right or wrong.