Baby announcements on social media? Yes or no?

[Moana1212]

One of my friends has put a baby scan photo and vest with 'baby ...' on social media after the 12 week scan. It's her first baby. I'm in two minds about this, I get why people want to share the news, it's happy and exciting. It's also really positive and everything has gone smoothly far. Plus, she's has no previous losses which might make a difference.

But on the other hand, I feel like it's not a done deal at 12 weeks. I know that sounds really negative. Maybe my views are tainted by two difficult pregnancies and births. Both times, it felt like so many things went wrong. Fortunately, both dc1 and dc2 are now here and well but I couldn't have imagined sharing the news on social media when it felt so precarious throughout.

I get that my personal views and experiences might not be typical. Maybe I'm just traumatised by my own experiences and that's why I feel this way.

I guess I'm interested to know what drives people to put baby announcements on social media? Have you done it and if you did, how and why?

I'm just interested to know what people think, 'normal' thinking people. I know my feelings on this are not the norm so I'm trying to figure it out. I know that I also have trauma issues going on.

Bur what if something did go wrong in any pregnancy, does that go on social media?

I actually did a very raw and honest post on social media during the worst of my postnatal depression. I can't say why I did it. Certainly wasn't for attention but I think it resonated with a lot of people I know who were then very open with me about their experiences. So it felt right somehow, saying its ok not to be OK. But I don't think that's typical on social media.

I didn't but I don't judge those who do

Thankfully had my children before social media was a thing. I'm not bothered about baby announcements on social media. If the persons happy then they want to share that happiness and that's OK.

I 'announced it' at 20 weeks but only because I didn't know I was pregnant for ages and then had to wait for my scan. We thought I might be about 12 weeks when I had the scan so we're suprised!

Not my kind of thing tbh but I wouldn't care enough to post about it if someone else did it. It's up to them what they post, I don't see why people post a lot of the stuff they do tbh but each to their own when it comes to that stuff.

Baby: I 'announced' on SM when I was about 26 weeks, not a huge SM user so I'd already pretty much told everyone, but I realised there would be others who hadn't seen me and might like to know. But until then it hadn't really occured to me. Obviously that's because I don't use it much, it would probably be different if I did. I did enjoy telling people face to face though!

MC: didn't say a word, to SM or anyone really. Only people who know are my DH and my boss. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Different strokes and all that.

I wouldn’t do a SM pregnancy announcement at all personally, I would just do a baby announcement when the baby has arrived with their name etc. This seems to be what people I know are doing as well.

Im very active on social media but have not done a pregnancy announcement on social media as i think they can be cruel. I tried for a year and after 6 months each tume i saw one it was a gut punch so i cant imagine how it would feel to someone going through IVF or uterine cancer treatment like i know 2 people who follow me are. I told close friends and family at 13 weeks. Workmates ans other friends as and when i saw them. Have had a few people tentatively message me to 'see how i am' after a recent load of photos of a wedding i went to last week went on SM as im 23 weeks now and you can sort of tell. No need to 'announce' it. Also never announced my engagement, people eventually noticed i was wearing a ring the same as they have eventually realised i have a bump

To be fair, I did do that after my two were here, safe and well. Dc2 was after a couple of weeks actually as she had to go into special care

To be fair OP, you had difficult pregnancies and births but your children were still OK. That's how it goes for the majority. Ignorance is bliss for most too, which I think is nice tbh.

I've had multiple losses and I wouldn't announce like that myself, but mainly because I wouldn't want people pussyfooting around me re announcements more than they already do if they know I've lost another. I worry for others but I am also pleased at their blissful ignorance because it's lovely, lovely bubble to enjoy.

I didn’t post anything about my pregnancy, it wasn’t a secret but it also wasn’t something I wanted to share with the world.

ita really up to the individual.

Lots of things can be gut-wrenching for various reasons though. Someone suffering with crippling loneliness might struggle seeing groups of friends out having a good time. Someone who's lost their husband might find seeing a wedding anniversary post hard. If somebody's just lost their home seeing someone announce they've got the keys to their new house might be like a punch in the gut. But the whole point of social media is to share things from your life. It's awful for people when they can't conceive and of course inviting your friend struggling with infertility to your surprise pregnancy announcement party is a crappy thing to do, but pregnancy announcements are a part of social media.

I'm not really active on social media, so doubt I would do an announcement (didn't post about my wedding either) but if people want to post they can, if not they don't.

It’s not a done deal until the baby is born safely. So whether you announce at 8 weeks or 36 weeks. Even then someone I know lost her baby, after a straightforward pregnancy and birth at less than a week old. So if people want to announce on social media that is fair enough, I can see why some don’t.

I dunno, it all seems like a lot of hassle that could’ve been saved with 1 line on Facebook. I’m lucky enough not to have experienced pregnancy loss but I imagine if you have being confronted with a ‘surprise’ bump is harder, but maybe somebody will correct me on that. That’s just
my opinion though because we’re discussing it!

I did after my dating scan, think I was nearly 14 weeks - I did it because I was excited and wanted to? I now have a lovely 9 month old.
If something had gone wrong then I would have announced that as well, don’t know why that’s treated as such a dirty little secret?

It’s also absolutely nothing to do with you, so be happy for your friend and move on.

I like it because it means I get to be nosy about everyone from secondary school 😂

It wouldn’t be for me, but people are free to do what they want.

12 weeks is a pretty standard stage for people to make announcements. Waiting until 36 weeks doesn’t mean it’s a done deal either.

I think it's quite sweet. Both my daughter and daughter in law did it. But if it's not for you . . . . . .

I didn't and I asked my manager not to tell anyone in our team until I was past 24 weeks (we were all WFH during lockdown so easy to hide). I have a condition that made preterm labour chances high and my pregnancy was a highly anxious and dark time for me, multiple scans, procedures and I never really committed to having a baby because I was terrified I would lose her. I didn't want to have to tell multiple people who I wasn't even that close to that I'd lost my baby. I don't object to others that announce on social media but in my friendship group it is only the couples who have found TTC easy and had straight forward pregnancies that do so. I do still feel a bit of a pang when I see announcements even though I now have my healthy child because I never felt relaxed enough to make it common knowledge, and I wonder what it's like to have that faith that your pregnancy will result in a baby.

I didn’t for DS1 and got a certain amount of flack from old friends living abroad who only saw the birth announcement. So for DS2 I made passing comment. You can please everyone, it seems!

I don't mean this to sound harsh but you seem a little jealous. It's quite a common thing to announce at 12 weeks, but even if she announced straight away it's her page her decision.

It's pretty likely that after 12 weeks things will be fine. Wish her luck and move on

I didn’t with any of my 3 DC, didn’t do an announcement of the births either. Just eventually posted a photo of them sometime afterwards, between 1-4 months for all of them. But I’m not a big social media user, I figured everyone I wanted to tell I had told in real life or had text, my extended family all heard from others in the family. Anyone else I have on social media is old school/uni friends or ex colleagues so didn’t need to know as I only ‘know’ them now through social media. I text the people I wanted to tell once they were born and the word spread through family whatsapp (my mom posting it) after the births and my work post birth announcements on the weekly staff bulletin (it’s a school).

I put a social media post on after my 20 week scan. I had already told family and friends, but I knew there were some people who would like to know, but I wouldn’t necessarily contact them individually.

I don’t generally post on social media, but that was an exception.

I was conscious that some people might find it hurtful to see (none that I knew of specifically) but took the view that it wasn’t a good enough reason not to share my news with the people I wanted to share it with.

Haven’t posted a photo of our baby on social media, but we announced that he’d been delivered safely. Friends and family who haven’t met him yet have seen photos via WhatsApp etc but I didn’t feel the need to share photos with all of my social media contacts

I didn't and wouldn't post any big announcement on social media personally I find it tacky, but then I didn't even tell people at work either as I'm quite a private perso . But if your friend wants to then let her be I guess.