To think 2 is easier than 1?

[MolliciousIntent]

When I had just the one baby, people used to say things along the lines of "if you think it's hard now, wait until you have 2" or "ha, trust me, one baby is easy compared to a baby and a toddler!" I was prepared for it to be really, really difficult. And a bit scared, to be honest.

The reality is SO different to how everyone told me it would be that it's making me feel like a weirdo. I love having two, and to be honest I find it easier than having one. It's like when I just had one, I was focusing all my time and attention on DD1, it was super intense and all-consuming, but now that DD2 is here I'm splitting my focus and everything feels so much less all-encompassing and much less stressful.

Obviously I'm knackered, and the logistics can be a challenge sometimes, but I'm enjoying it so much more than I did when I just had one.

I said this to one of the "just you wait til you have 2" brigade, and she looked at me like I'd grown an extra head. Is it really that weird?

I don’t think it’s easier because there’s more of them but it’s proportionally easier if that makes sense? If DD was 100% then when DD arrived I’d says it’s 150% to 175%. I was more relaxed and able to not be so obsessive about being a parent. I think it’s partly because you have to look after both so the second one gets left to fend for itself a bit more…gosh, that sounds awful 😂

I find two much easier than one. Sometimes when I have only one home after school I go and get the other one from nursery early.

If I have one at home, they want all my attention and I get nothing else done.

If I have two at home, they entertain each other for hours and I can get work or chores done in relative peace.

I commented on here when I was pregnant with twins.

I've had my twins since and they're 4 months old.

It was actually very easy transition from 1-3. 380 DS has taken it all in his stride and my twins are good sleepers and very content! I know I'm lucky to find the transition from 1-3 a breeze!

3yo DS NOT 380 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣.

Yesss 2 is so much easier

Mine are not tiny anymore, it seems so quiet when one isn't here. Doesn't matter which one. I have 3. I think mine are super easy ATM - 9, 10 and 15. Not so much at 1, 2.5 and 6!

Can I ask how you're getting on these days? - kind regards for a soon to be mom of 2

It’s so funny reading my comment from September 2022 back, I can’t remember all of the exhaustion! (Well, I can, but it doesn’t feel real). 2 under 2 was a killer that first year.

They're now 5 and 3.5. Life is really good. They do fight like cat and dog at times but that’s generally because the youngest has some issues around kind hands and sharing (which we are working on). They say ‘I love you’ to each other every day though (which melts my heart) and they definitely get along more and more as they get older.

I also cackled at my response to @mistermagpie as after all that we are now weighing up the third child I so stridently ruled out upthread 3 years ago!

I went for a third child (wrote my post when at the end of mat leave with number 2) - she's 1.5 now - no regrets!

Also funny reading my comment back. I've now got DS1 who is almost six, DS2 who is three and a half, and baby DS3!

The two older ones play together a lot now and share a bedroom out of choice, so it's easier than having one in the sense that they entertain each other and I can probably leave them playing for longer than I could with one. They are both at school/preschool (one single drop-off!) during the week which means I get time with the baby, and looking after a baby third time round is much easier and more enjoyable than the anxious time I had as a first time mum.* *

That said, if someone gets ill or there's another kind of hiccup that means we can't follow our normal routine then it's pretty much unmitigated chaos. I love it though, and have a lovely feeling that my family is complete now.

I found this, 17 month age gap. The age where they both ran in opposite directions was tricky (so 1&2/2&3 really) but for the most part it's been great.

My mum gave me some bullshit about the younger one sleeping better because they got tired watching the older one run about, I remember laughing at this advice at the time, but I did find it easier as I had some experience of babies unlike the first time where it was all terrifyingly new.

I definitely struggled much more going from 0-1 than 1-2.
Teens now and still ok.