To call my daughter’s manager

[Bunnyfuller]

DD is 16 and is doing her first part time job, working as a Barista at a chain coffee shop. She was given her contracts to sign a few weeks ago, and given an employee handbook. In it it says pay should go up once ‘customer trained’ and again when barista trained. She’s definitely completed the assessments for both of these, and when she asked the shop manager about the rise as laid out in the handbook, the manager said ‘oh, I think that’s wrong, that book is from last year’.

Nothing since. I’ve said to DD to ask for the most current handbook, but immediately got bellowed at for hassling. She just says she’ll quit if her pay doesn’t go up.

I’d like to get to the bottom of it. Would it be very bad of me to call the manager and ask for clarification? There seems to be quite widespread exploitation of these kids starting out, her friend got similarly underpaid by a chain garden centre, and she just quit.

YABU - don’t call, if your daughter accepts it, or quits, it’s her choice

YANBU - a quiet request for the current handbook will let the manager know you’re onto her

It's my opinion, which I'm entitled to on a public forum. I can't imagine this happening when my generation was this age and I do worry that we are and have pandered to our children so much that they are just not able to cope in the big, wide world. It will become a big problem in society in the future.

If your daughter is old enough to go out to work, she's old enough to deal with an employer. it's not like at school where you go speak to the teacher.

YABU 100%

Three things:

1. It’s her job, so she needs to be the one asking the questions.

2)If my mum had rang my manager at 16, I’d have been furious (she wouldn’t have done so though).

3. They will not talk to you anyway even if you do contact them as she is the employee (and talking to you would go against all data protection legislation).

Well you know the answer.
It's another tough phase of parenting. You can only help and advise you cannot actively intervene. It can be tough when it's a health issue as your role as a parent is no longer to act on their behalf.
I had similar problems when DS was 16, he was very exploited working in a takeaway. I had to view it as a learning experience for him.
I agree with others, sit her down and talk through her options , help her to word an email to head office, warn her what may or may not happen, that she will have to learn to be assertive and deal with bosses and colleagues when she works in any job, and ultimately let her decide.

I used to work in retail management and there's absolutely no way I would speak to a parent about this if they called. You're not their employee and, legally speaking, it's nothing to do with you.

Your DD needs to sort this out on her own, or speak to another more experienced colleague about it and see if they can help her.

They will not talk to you anyway even if you do contact them as she is the employee (and talking to you would go against all data protection legislation).

That's what I was going to say. They literally can't. I've had university students' parents call me to discuss their children's grades. They're usually quite surprised to hear that all I can legally tell them is that x is or isn't a student enrolled at the university.

Please don't do this, she's not in school, this is a job. They won't talk to you and Tbh I wouldn't even agree to take your call. All comms are better done in writing anyway so help her write a grievance letter. She has to work out herself how to cope with these situations in the working world, they'll be many over the years and mummy can't always fix it. Teach her how to handle it but don't do it for her

The managers in these places seem to not get much in the way of training in leading people, developing them and effective communication and as such there is little cohesiveness or protection from poor practice.

Incorrect. McDonalds managers receive world class training, so much so they are regularly sought after and poached from other companies.

They are, however, franchises, so if your local franchise doesn’t give a shit, you will see that reflected in their practices.

It’s awful isn’t it @Bunnyfuller , you want to help them and protect them but it’s their job so really it’s their responsibility, even if they don’t feel up to challenging things.

I had to help dd find out her rights when her employer treated her horrendously but she then had to go back to them armed with those rights herself. I rang ACAS in that instance. Strangely enough they started treating her better from then on, once they knew she would stand up to them.

As it’s a chain could you email head office for clarity, not naming the branch involved let alone dds name?

@YellowTreeHouse that must be it, although she has friends working in other branches, in different counties, who have the same experiences. So, like many things, perhaps the training is as you say, but many of them aren’t putting it into practice.

thanks for the advice, everyone. I will follow DD’s lead and help with emails/wording etc if she asks.

Help her draft an email asking the uplift referrers to in the staff handbook

We had this with DS head office know full well he was entitled but the individual manager got a kick back for keeping wages down and turnover up. Your daughter needs to find another job my DS did

First off… your 16 year old “bellowed at you” for asking a question? And “she will quit” if she doesn’t get a pay rise? 🤔

As for finding out pay - if it’s a matter to nationwide chain, no doubt a quick Google will confirm situation

Please don’t call on your daughter’s behalf, OP.

If your daughter shouted at you for hassling her (as you write in your OP), I don’t think it’ll go well if you approach your daughter’s manager without talking to her about it first. I do understand where you’re coming from, but I think this is on your daughter to sort.

Oh come on - he got a “kick back” for keeping wages down. Really?

At 16 its a mixed bag, you are helping them grow into adults still and part of that is helping them to navigate these sorts of tricky situations so that they dont become doormats and also dont become ‘perpetually angry life isnt fair and so I will opt out of everything’ adults

I would sit down and help her talk through her options, what are three different routes you could take to solve this. In each of the routes what are the upsides and downsides, each time ask and let her answer before adding your 2 cents. Then suggest she takes 24 hrs to decide which route she wants to take (always good to sleep on a big decision - more learning for the future) and then support her in her decision. If it goes tits up then help her reassess and learn that sometimes it can take two or three tries at something to get a good solution.

And in the background be ready to step in and handle things if you think she is being exploited dangerously…. And tell her that, knowing you have her back if there is a big problem is very confidence building for teens

Have you never heard of bonuses in the hospitality industry. 🙄

Please step back from your daughter's job and let her manage her life. She needs to do this herself, not because you are on to it. If I had someone's mother contact me then they would go down in my estimation - I'd think if they can't manage simple things from their own life admin how can they manage my customers.

Part of the great thing about having a job at 16 is learning to navigate these things by yourself, especially when you aren't reliant on your wage and can vote with your feet.

Barista training will be really tranferable - I wouldn't bother with the hassle of challenging it if I were her, I'd just get the experience and get another job if the pay rise doesn't materialise.

Bonuses for not contractually uplifting pay for an employee? A nationwide chain. Seriously? 😂

go to the press surely??!

I understand how you feel, but you really can't do this. You can just guide and advise your DD if she wants you to.

Data protection laws would prevent her employer from discussing her employment with you. Therefore this is something she has to navigate herself. It is an important life lesson, despite her inexperience.

ODFOD!

Would GDPR not prevent them discussing anything with you as you are not the person employed by them

Does your daughter want you to call them on her behalf, or are you thinking about it because it's what you think is the right thing to do

I’d give her your advice on how to deal with it but if she doesn’t feel she can cope with that at the moment then it might affect how she feels about the job anyway and not be a particularly positive experience. IME not as many 16 years I know have jobs compared to when I was that age when everyone I knew did. I think she’s doing pretty well to have got to that stage and taking her barista training and getting another job might be a good lesson in seeking other options if you feel you aren’t valued.

What a load of shit. Typical “back in my day” nonsense, when things were either 1) easier or 2) people got taken advantage of and didn’t say anything.

OP, you’re completely right to be pissed off on your DD’s behalf. I would totally advocate for her, and let her know that she has the right to stand up for herself. Do things WITH her rather than FOR her. It’s a good lesson for her to learn that she doesn’t need to be taken advantage of.

When you’re 16, you’re likely to not want to rock the boat. It’s good for her to learn that sometimes the boat needs rocking, and you’ll be there to support her when it does.

You can be damn sure the contract/handbook still stands when it’s in the manager’s interests