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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Drinking while babysitting

71 replies

Tiredasamf · 25/09/2022 09:41

Would you be annoyed if the person who was babysitting your kids was drinking while doing it?

Context - I went out yesterday for a brunch, I was out from 1-8.30pm so not late. My mom and her partner babysat my 3 kids for me.

when I got home there was 2 empty bottles of wine on the table. (Homemade wine so stronger than normal)
They had also been to the pub with the kids (she had checked with me first about going there - it has a play area) but they would have had a drink there too so that’s a whole bottle each plus at least 1 or 2 other drinks.

AIBU to think you shouldn’t drink that much when looking after someone else’s children?!

OP posts:
minionsrule · 25/09/2022 14:55

You are certainly not wrong here.
I like a glass of wine or two but looking after young children, especially someone else's I would like to think I could manage without one till after they were in bed, even then I would limit how much I had.

Greengagesnfennel · 25/09/2022 23:04

I would not expect a family member to drink whilst looking after an 8 month old in the afternoon!

Wouldn't cross my.mind either to think I needed to ask.

5foot5 · 26/09/2022 00:36

I am not usually judgmental about people drinking but in this case YANBU.

If we are having a quiet evening in and have no commitments the next day then DH and I might drink a couple of bottles. (But not home made, are you sure it is stronger than normal? I would assume very much the opposite.) However we are no longer responsible for young DC as they are all grown up. If I was in a babysitting situation for someone else's DC I do think I would stay dry just to be on the safe side.

LovinglifeAF · 26/09/2022 00:41

It’s a lot and especially over an afternoon and teatime ie when the kids were awake

70billionthnamechange · 26/09/2022 01:36

Blueberrywitch · 25/09/2022 11:52

That is a lot to drink! I’m a regular drinker but me and DP would be absolutely plastered if we had polished off two bottles of wine in an afternoon! I wouldn’t mind someone having a few glasses of wine but I can’t see how you would be able to respond to an emergency after 2 bottles.

It's doesn't make it right but my partner and I could easily drink this and just be slightly tipsy. But still, shouldn't do with others kids in case you need to respond to an emergency as feeling like it's not affected you doesn't mean it hasn't

BambinaJAS · 26/09/2022 02:20

2 bottles of wine?

How is that even possible without barely being able to walk.

Thats an IMMENSE amount of alcohol to drink in an 8hr window.

Coyoacan · 26/09/2022 02:27

I finally managed to give up the daemon alcohol when I found I was tempted to have a drink while minding my dgd

mumof2g1rls · 16/10/2022 03:23

JesusMaryAndJosephAndTheWeeDon · 25/09/2022 10:26

I don't think it is unreasonable to drink while babysitting. Even when being paid. And the fact that you agreed to them going to the pub suggests that you agree.

I reckon under the drink drive limit is fine unless specifically agreed beforehand.

A moderate amount, eg a bottle of wine between two or similar, the quantity that you might reasonably put away over dinner and a film after the kids have gone to bed. Fine providing we aren't talking about babies or kids with medical needs. Probably not appropriate during the day when the kids are up and about though.

A bottle of wine each plus whatever they had at the pub, not appropriate when babysitting, especially not during the day with kids young enough to use a play area.

You know you can go to the pub for a lunch WITHOUT drinking??

CrustyFlake · 16/10/2022 04:05

Crikey, that's a lot of wine to get through over lunch time! I thought you were going to say they had a drink or two each, but no, this is a bit much.

Did they seem drunk when you got home? If they seemed ok I probably wouldn't say anything but just make sure not to ask them to babysit again.

dreamland5 · 16/10/2022 04:27

I'd be fuming. You've asked them to babysit so they'd be looked after and safe while you're out. Not to be looked after by pissed people. I wouldn't be happy with this. And that is a lot of drink to be having when looking after kids.

anonbelle · 16/10/2022 04:43

Not going to lie, i'd be absolutely furious.

NaturalBae · 16/10/2022 04:47

Not okay. They have a alcohol problem if they think that this is okay.

Caiti19 · 16/10/2022 05:13

I wouldn't be happy about this. The task of "babysitting" comes with an inherent expectation of remaining sober in my eyes. Reactions to any emergencies are dulled, there was nobody able to drive if needed. Where two are babysitting, I'd expect at least one to not drink alcohol at all and I'd expect the other to have a drink or two at most - but certainly not be sloshed around my kids. Is a bottle of strong wine each per night the norm for them?

Darbs76 · 16/10/2022 06:16

Wow an 8 month baby. No that’s completely unacceptable

DodgyLeftLeg · 16/10/2022 07:09

Would say I drink more than average MN ie. drink wine most days but I don’t binge.

This is far too much in an afternoon whilst babysitting and especially when the children are so young - absolutely not ok.

Whowhatwherewhenwhy1 · 18/01/2023 08:29

No alcohol at all while in charge of young kids. No exceptions. One responsible adult must remain sober.

Funkyslippers · 18/01/2023 08:32

Blimey, I'd be bladdered after that amount and totally incapable of stringing a sentence together, let alone looking after children!

Funkyslippers · 18/01/2023 08:35

Did they seem drunk?

ElegantlyTouched · 18/01/2023 09:08

YANBU. I've been left a bottle of wine when babysitting in the past and always felt bad having one glass, even though it was the parents who'd left it for me!

Judgyjudgy · 18/01/2023 09:18

Seems alot, but were they actually drunk? I feel me & DH could manage that and still be perfectly coherent ... Blush

Beachsidesunset · 18/01/2023 10:01

I'm sure they've sobered up by now ..

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