Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Drinking while babysitting

71 replies

Tiredasamf · 25/09/2022 09:41

Would you be annoyed if the person who was babysitting your kids was drinking while doing it?

Context - I went out yesterday for a brunch, I was out from 1-8.30pm so not late. My mom and her partner babysat my 3 kids for me.

when I got home there was 2 empty bottles of wine on the table. (Homemade wine so stronger than normal)
They had also been to the pub with the kids (she had checked with me first about going there - it has a play area) but they would have had a drink there too so that’s a whole bottle each plus at least 1 or 2 other drinks.

AIBU to think you shouldn’t drink that much when looking after someone else’s children?!

OP posts:

Mrsphilmiller · 25/09/2022 09:42

Are you sure the bottles weren’t from the night before?

ComtesseDeSpair · 25/09/2022 09:43

If you’re paying them then you can stipulate that they don’t drink whilst working. If they’re doing you a free of charge favour then you’re on a hiding to nowhere, really.

Original poster

Tiredasamf · 25/09/2022 09:44

They were at my house, so the bottles were definitely drank while here looking after the kids

OP posts:

Hdocheub820 · 25/09/2022 09:44

I wouldn't like this either. If she would like to drink a bottle of wine - fine. But if she would like to do this whilst baby sitting, I'd find someone else next time.

Imissmoominmama · 25/09/2022 09:45

I’d be really cross.

Original poster

Tiredasamf · 25/09/2022 09:46

@Hdocheub820 this is my thinking too. Absolutely none of my business if you want to drink a bottle of wine, but when you’re supposed to be responsible for someone else’s children I don’t think it’s right.

my youngest is 8 months so I’m not comfortable with the thought that they were tipsy

OP posts:

Midnights · 25/09/2022 09:46

That's a lot to drink in an afternoon IMO, especially when looking after three DC. Did you ask them not to drink before?

I think the lines are blurred, if you're paying a babysitter then the rules seem clear (don't drink etc) but when it's family doing a favour I think it's harder without chats beforehand to set boundaries.

MrsTimRiggins · 25/09/2022 09:47

I wouldn’t mind them having a couple of drinks, but a couple of bottles is taking the piss tbh. Are they big or problem drinkers otherwise?
i would be very disappointed.

RampantIvy · 25/09/2022 09:49

I'm staggered that 25% of voters think it is OK to drink that much alcohol when in charge of children.

One or two drinks is OK, but that amount is just wrong.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 25/09/2022 09:49

I’d be cross. Two drinks over the course of the afternoon, not a problem. Two bottles of wine over the afternoon, irresponsible.

Original poster

Tiredasamf · 25/09/2022 09:54

I didn’t think it was even a boundary that needing setting tbh! It wouldn’t cross my mind to take alcohol to someone’s house to babysit their children.

they aren’t big problem drinkers (I don’t think?) but they do have a drink at home most evenings. I thought they’d be able to go an afternoon without drinking though!! It wasn’t even a thought I had when asking them.

they were home just after 8.30pm so surely could have waited till then if they really wanted a drink?

OP posts:

FirewomanSam · 25/09/2022 09:59

My ex and I used to look after his nieces and nephews a lot, and his sister would always leave us a bottle of wine and money for a takeaway when we babysat for an evening.

But a bottle of wine each, plus drinks at the pub, while babysitting for the afternoon and early evening? That is excessive.

Bilingualspingual · 25/09/2022 10:01

If someone asked me to babysit their children as a favour, for no money, I wouldn’t think ‘oh well, fuck them, they haven’t paid me, I’ll get shit-faced’. I don’t think the money thing is relevant at all.

Greenfinch7 · 25/09/2022 10:06

1 glass of wine (maybe 2) would be fine with me. More than that and they were not really taking care or paying attention to the kids.

misskatamari · 25/09/2022 10:08

No i would be really unhappy about this too. That's not a glass of wine/beer with dinner type thing (which wouldn't bother me as such, but is definitely not something id do if I was babysitting someone else's kids), it's a completely unnecessary amount to put away, before 8.30 at night!

And I completely agree, it's not a boundary most people would expect to have to set, because who expects people they are trusting to look after their kids, to go to a pub and THEN come home and knock back two whole bottles of strong wine! Ridiculous!

HappydaysArehere · 25/09/2022 10:09

I don’t wonder you are annoyed. I presume they drank the wine after they returned from the pub with the children. I expect they took the children for a meal. If they drove I would be worried if they were accustomed to drinking and driving. As you say 8.30 is hardly late.

JesusMaryAndJosephAndTheWeeDon · 25/09/2022 10:26

I don't think it is unreasonable to drink while babysitting. Even when being paid. And the fact that you agreed to them going to the pub suggests that you agree.

I reckon under the drink drive limit is fine unless specifically agreed beforehand.

A moderate amount, eg a bottle of wine between two or similar, the quantity that you might reasonably put away over dinner and a film after the kids have gone to bed. Fine providing we aren't talking about babies or kids with medical needs. Probably not appropriate during the day when the kids are up and about though.

A bottle of wine each plus whatever they had at the pub, not appropriate when babysitting, especially not during the day with kids young enough to use a play area.

Original poster

Tiredasamf · 25/09/2022 10:31

@JesusMaryAndJosephAndTheWeeDon yes exactly I’m fine with one or two - going to a beer garden and having a glass is fine.

the kids were still up when I got home which is something else that annoyed me but in the context of this thread it means they drank all that while the kids were up.

they are all very young, eldest is 5

OP posts:

CakeMonster1 · 25/09/2022 10:50

I wouldn't be happy at all, also just wondering if they got a taxi home or walked?

Dear god please don't say they drove?

VladmirsPoutine · 25/09/2022 10:53

I don't mind people having a couple of drinks if babysitting. But 2 bottles of wine (plus whatever else at the pub) is unreasonable, babysitting or not, in my view.

CakeMonster1 · 25/09/2022 10:53

Oh wow considering the ages of your children it's even more shocking.

BungleandGeorge · 25/09/2022 10:59

I presume they do have a drinking problem if they’ve drunk that much over the course of an afternoon looking after children (hardly a social occasion!) and they obviously preplanned bringing it with them. Or could it be the partner if you don’t know him that well? Did they seem drunk?

womaninatightspot · 25/09/2022 11:00

That is alot of booze. A pint at the pub wouldn’t concern me or a glass of wine with dinner but I wouldn’t be able to function with that much booze. I know other people have a higher tolerance but that is way too much.

I wouldn’t be asking them to babysit again for the foreseeable future.

Abraxan · 25/09/2022 11:01

I'd have no issue with them having one or two drinks whilst babysitting.
Drinking at least a bottle each I'd have more problems with, whilst babysitting someone else's,children.

JenniferBarkley · 25/09/2022 11:02

Family I would be fine with having a couple of drinks as I would do that myself. Someone I was paying I would expect to stay sober because they're at work.

Two bottles of wine between two people in the middle of the day I would be very unhappy about. Quite probably not worth the row though so I would just mentally remove them from the list of babysitters.

Flip

1 2 3