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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

1k of credit card debt, feel stressed and ashamed

85 replies

Cheddargorgeouss · 25/09/2022 08:20

I got one of those 0% cards to purchase something I use for work.
I'm also going to visit family long haul with my partner and I got our flights on them too.
Then I changed jobs and went from weekly to monthly pay, so ended up using it a bit.
I don't use it at all now and I'm paying back more than the minimum each month. Ideally I'd like to have it fully paid off in the next 5 months.
Anyway I've been a bit stressed about money as also trying to save for a house deposit, save spending money for this holiday, and still have £150 of our accommodation to pay.
I don't have an overdraft or any other loan or credit card etc.
My partner and I had an advance from UC last year as he was unemployed so used to claim, I offered to pay it back so I pay £70 a month for that, luckily I've only got one more payment!
I'm on around 22k and partner 17k. He's on a zero hours contract and some weeks doesn't get full time hours. I am encouraging him to look for better paid work.
Anyway as a result we split bills accordingly, so I pay £100 a month more in rent than him, and I'd say I generally pay for around 2/3 of stuff but he does definitely contribute. He offers more but I feel like it's unfair seeing as I earn more.
Anyway last night I told him I was a bit stressed with how much there was to save and pay for and told him about my credit card. I mean he already knew about it but didn't know the exact amount.
He was furious, sighing and refusing to talk to me. He was really annoyed and now I feel really ashamed and irresponsible.
He has a card too but only uses it a little each month.
About a year ago he did also have around 1k debt on it, I can't even remember why not, but he cleared it eventually.
I know some people have 20k debt for instance, I have a great credit score and I'm always paying more than the minimum.
I've got almost 1k in savings which I know isn't a lot but it's a start I guess.
In the end he apologised and said he was just concerned and didn't want me to end up in trouble. I said I understood where he was coming from.
I just feel really ashamed now and irresponsible. I should have handled it better. I explained to him about how having to pay this UC back etc. And paying the extra 100 rent means maybe I don't save as much as I'd like. He offered more but I feel unfair.
I'm going to sell the original thing I'd bought on the card as I'll get around 400 pounds.
Any advice appreciated

OP posts:

Shoxfordian · 25/09/2022 08:21

Why don’t you just pay it off with your savings?

Original poster

Cheddargorgeouss · 25/09/2022 08:22

I feel like I need those savings for our upcoming holiday and for other emergencies etc

OP posts:

Dontsparethehorses · 25/09/2022 08:24

I agree with previous poster your wasting money on interest to have credit card when you have savings. Pay it off and start saving again. You might have to decrease spending money for holiday for example if you can’t afford it? Or take out a 0% credit card as worst case scenario but make sure you have a plan to pay it off before 0% expires.

Original poster

Cheddargorgeouss · 25/09/2022 08:25

This is a 0% card sorry if i didn't mention. Yeah maybe I'll have to..

OP posts:

PeaceLily2000 · 25/09/2022 08:25

As it's 0% interest, I would keep paying at least the minimum payment and more if you can until it's cleared.
I think it's good to have a savings buffer in case
Of an emergency so wouldn't use savings to clear it.
You sound very sensible generally with money and are trying hard to clear the debt so I would give yourself some grace :) xx

Original poster

Cheddargorgeouss · 25/09/2022 08:25

You're right that's why i didn't pay it in full earlier as it's 0%

OP posts:

Goldmember · 25/09/2022 08:28

Don't get stressed, get practical and make a plan. Are you paying enough to have it cleared by the 0% end date? Focus on paying it down and then building your savings. It's short term debt that isn't costing you at the moment.

meditrina · 25/09/2022 08:29

a) stop being ashamed

b) there's a figure missing from your account above, which is how much you need to pay per month to pay it back over 5 months. You've got a lot of thoughts whirling around, but until you've worked out the cost of repayment in the timeframe you want, you can't plan

c) DP sounds like he's being a shit.

MuttsNutts · 25/09/2022 08:29

Unless you are earning a better rate of interest on your savings than you are paying in interest on your cc (you won’t be), you need to pay off the debt from your savings.

And your partner needs to stop being furious and huffing and puffing about it. Seriously.

Original poster

Cheddargorgeouss · 25/09/2022 08:29

I felt a bit frustrated as he told me that he manages it so I should too. However as I said I pay more of the rent and food etc. So that he can save more

OP posts:

Emiliaswrath · 25/09/2022 08:30

Absolutely no need to feel ashamed and your partner shouldn't be making you feel that way.
You sound very sensible with money, but occasionally things happen and we need to use credit. As long as you are aware of it, are paying it off and not burying your head in the sand over it then there isn't a problem.
You will clear it eventually, just as your partner did. I bet you didn't make him feel bad about his debt.
I suspect his making you feel bad is because he feels guilty that you pay more towards the bills.

MuttsNutts · 25/09/2022 08:33

Sorry, if it is still 0% percent interest on the CC and you can pay it off while it remains 0% then go ahead with that plan.

Your partner does need to get over himself though and support you, same as you did for him when he was struggling financially.

TinySaltLick · 25/09/2022 08:33

It's a short term debt you incurred from buying a flight and changing jobs. Hardly something to be embarrassed about, and you plan to pay it off in five months?

Seems pretty normal to me, enjoy the flight!!

Floatyunicorn · 25/09/2022 08:35

How long is left for the 0% on purchases to run out? Divide that by the amount outstanding and set up a standing order to ensure its paid in time.
If this is a struggle, could you apply for a 0% balance transfer card towards the end of your 0% on current card so it gives you a few more months to get it paid off without any fees.
Failing that I would pay as much as you can off before the 0% ends then use some of your savings to pay it off.
I agree that keeping a small amount of savings is a good idea.

GiltEdges · 25/09/2022 08:38

Honestly, don’t really understand the strife about this. It’s £1k. You have it on a 0% deal and a plan to pay it off before the deal ends. My only advice would be that if you haven’t, then the sensible thing will be to use your savings at that point to clear any remaining balance, as the interest on the debt will cost you far more than your savings make you.

nannynick · 25/09/2022 08:38

Do one thing at a time. Pay off debts smallest to largest. You will clear the UC advance very quick as you only have one payment to go on that.

Once the debt is gone, then add to your emergency fund (you already have almost £1k in savings) so it is 3 to 6 months of typical expenses. So if your monthly expenses are £1000 then emergency fund of £3000-£6000.
Then save for house deposit.

Focus on one thing at a time, get intense about achieving the goal. The mental process of setting a small goal, achieving it and then setting a higher goal will help you to achieve all the goals.

If you like podcasts then:
Meaningful Money - Ultimate Guide to Paying Off Debt meaningfulmoney.tv/UG2
Ramsey Show - www.ramseysolutions.com/shows/the-ramsey-show

WalkingThroughTreacle · 25/09/2022 08:38

First things first, £1000 of debt for your earnings, and given that it is 0% and being well managed, is nothing to even raise an eyebrow over. What I'd be more concerned about is your relationship. You are an adult. Your boyfriend/partner going in a childish huff over this is very poor form. He has no good reason to judge you negatively and should he be tempted to he should respect you enough to discuss it with you like an adult from the off. Second, why are you subsidising him so much? There is not that great a difference between your salaries and he still has a responsibility to pay his own way in life. If this subsidising is genuinely of your own doing with absolutely no subtle manipulation on his part then stop being a martyr. If there is even a hint of him manipulating or guilt-tripping you into paying the greater share then you need to really think about the dynamics in this relationship.

OnTheBrinkOfChange · 25/09/2022 08:39

I think you should be splitting bills equally. You can't afford to pay for his share as well and it encourages him to not do anything about getting a better paid job.

Backtonormalnow · 25/09/2022 08:39

Why are you paying off his £70 a month debt?

J0y · 25/09/2022 08:39

Look don't worry. 1k debt is not going to destroy your life. 20 per week for a year could fix this. Or 10 per week for two years. Maybe destroy the card, get a loan to pay off the debt that can be deducted at source.

Your bf has a nerve berating you for the same situation he was in himself a year ago plus, it was for something you use for work! Don't you still need it?

Will you be massively inconvenienced if you sell the item?

don't sell something you need just to appease a man who was in this exact same situation himself last year.

orbitalcrisis · 25/09/2022 08:43

Don't be ashamed, you're not paying any interest and you're not actually in debt, you have the money to pay it off. What's he so upset about? How much does he have in savings? If nothing then you are both breaking even!

BarbaraofSeville · 25/09/2022 08:48

It sounds like you're overcompensating for him earning slightly less than you. Aim to have the same amount of personal money after splitting bills, debts run up on joint expenses and things like commuting costs.

All sorts of employers are desperate for staff and pay above NMW so he really shouldn't be earning so little. If his current employer won't give him the hours he can get a second job or a different one.

Umbrellabee · 25/09/2022 08:49

It’s a small amount of debt in the grand scheme. I would keep paying off as much as you can whilst the 0% is in place. Keep your savings as otherwise if something unexpected happens you will end up putting it on the card and adding to it. Having some emergency savings is great if you can manage it. Don’t get a loan to pay it off unless you then cut up the card, you end up with spending back on the card and have both to repay. If you get to the end of the 0% with money still on the card I would then use savings to pay the last bit. Make your partner pay his way. He can’t moan about your own debt when a portion of your money is funding him. You could have used what you are spending on him to pay it off quicker. He’s an idiot.

AliasGrape · 25/09/2022 08:49

I’m confused as to why you paid for both your flights, are paying back HIS £70 a month debt and paying more towards rent and food? And then putting up with him getting arsey with you because you have used a card for some of this subsidising his lifestyle?

He sounds like the issue to be honest.

Quitelikeacatslife · 25/09/2022 08:50

If it's worrying you, pay off £500 from savings then once other debt cleared pay £50 a month (more if you have it) credit cards are only a problem if you can't repay them on high interest, you are doing financially fine .

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